Nocturnal Admissions | By : sharpeslass Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > Yaoi - Male/Male > Gojyo/Hakkai Views: 1850 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Nocturnal Admissions
Author: sharpeslass
Rating: NC-17 (to be safe)
Pairings: Gojyo/Hakkai
Warnings: M/M, PWP
Disclaimer: not mine, making no money, etc.
Summary: Hakkai gets some unasked-for guidance from Gojyo on the subject
of self-gratification. (Thanks, as usual to Jedishampoo for the beta and continued
support!)
Nocturnal Admissions
Gojyo lay in the moonlit room and listened to Hakkai jerk himself off... or at
least try to jerk himself off. It didn’t seem to be going well. It never did.
The sounds his friend was making were more those of frustration than of any
kind of pleasure. In the years Gojyo had shared close quarters with the man, he
didn’t think he’d once been present when Hakkai had achieved anything like
success at the effort.
Not that Gojyo listened. Not that he listened on purpose, anyway. But, really,
how was he supposed to avoid hearing it? Since he couldn’t avoid the hearing,
he tended to hope for the best, to provide Hakkai with silent, secret support.
Hell, he felt sorry for the guy. He felt another pang of that familiar pity as
Hakkai let out a low hiss and shifted violently in his bed. He was clearly
calling it quits for the night. The subsequent whimpered sigh sounded like
something close to despair.
“You need some help over there?” Had he just said that out loud? Fuck, how much
had he had to drink at dinner? In the long, stretched out moments of
silence that followed he had time to almost panic over how his question must
have sounded. Great, now Hakkai was going to think he was hitting on him. Gay, and hitting on him. And he wasn’t either one of those
things, though he had to wonder himself what kind of assistance he’d been
hoping to offer. After an eternity, Hakkai spoke. To Gojyo’s immense relief,
his tone, while containing some irritation, was most definitely un-freaked out.
“I’d prefer to deal with this on my own, if you don’t mind, Gojyo.”
“You don’t seem to be having much luck,” Gojyo observed.
“Quite frankly, I’m not,” Hakkai’s voice was resigned. “I never do.”
“Yeah, I know,” Gojyo admitted, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and
reaching for the cigarettes on his nightstand. The room spun slightly, and then
steadied. He waited out another epic stretch of silence.
“You’ve been listening to me do this for how long, exactly?” Hakkai inquired.
Gojyo watched him in the dim moonlight. He was lying
on his back, unmoving, one arm flung over his face. Gojyo couldn’t see his
expression, but his voice was pained.
“Dunno,” Gojyo shrugged lighting his cigarette and feeling his head begin to
clear. “For a while. Since just after you moved in
with me, I guess.”
Hakkai laughed and the sound was humorless even by his standards. “That’s
rather embarrassing.”
“Don’t worry about it, man,” Gojyo forced his tone to casualness as he exhaled.
“We’re both guys, right? I’m sure you’ve heard me going at it a few times.”
Silence. Silence. Silence.
“So what’s the problem anyway?” Gojyo rose and walked the long three feet to
the other man’s bed, sitting down with a creak of bedsprings. “Why can’t you...
you know?” He glanced sideways at Hakkai and concentrated on “casual.” Because this wasn’t that strange. This was just two buddies
having a conversation about something, you know, fairly important to guys. Right?
Hakkai apparently didn’t think so. “Do we really have to discuss this?” he said
as he shifted slightly, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. “I’ve
always considered this a rather personal matter.”
“I just want to help,” Gojyo said, meaning it.
Hakkai sighed, drawing himself up into a sitting position, back resting against
the wall. He pulled his pillow onto his lap and folded his hands on top of it.
His hair was mussed and one half of the collar of his pajamas stood up at an
odd angle. He looked very young and a little lost. At that moment, Gojyo
decided, he looked like an immensely serious twelve year-old.
Gojyo leaned forward attentively and waited for his friend to speak. Instead
Hakkai coughed.
“Could you not blow the smoke directly in my face,
Gojyo?”
“Wha...? Oh, yeah. Sorry, man.” Gojyo stood and looked around for the
ashtray, annoyed by the distraction.
“It’s under your left sock,” Hakkai offered patiently. Gojyo saw the tin
ashtray poking out from under the discarded footwear in the corner of the room.
Left sock? he thought. There’s a left and a
right sock? This was news to him, but also pretty much unimportant at the
moment. He quickly ditched his cigarette butt and returned to the bed, sitting
down again, this time facing Hakkai.
“Okay, so... whacking off,” he resumed. “Can’t do it, huh?” He tried to sound
concerned and at the same time clinical, like a doctor – a doctor who was a
friend and maybe a psychologist. He was rewarded with another pained look from
Hakkai, who answered nevertheless.
“It’s not a physical problem,” he said slowly. “My body is willing... more than
willing, really, or I wouldn’t even bother. I just keep running into walls in
my mind.” Gojyo looked at Hakkai blankly. “I don’t know what to think about,”
Hakkai explained with a weak smile.
“Tits and stuff?” suggested Gojyo. “That works for me.”
“Sometimes I wish I had your mind,” Hakkai laughed that hollow laugh again.
“For some reason I need a few more details.”
“Big tits and stuff?”
“I need to know something about the person, Gojyo.” Hakkai
clarified.
“Well, what else do you need to... ? Wait, so...
you’re not thinking of Kanan?” Gojyo said, appalled.
“She’s my entire experience, Gojyo,” said Hakkai, now sounding defensive. “Who
else would I think about?”
“What about...” Gojyo cast about in his mind, “anyone else. What about
that chick who hangs with Kougaji? She’s hot. And she likes you.”
“Yaone-San?”
“Yeah, her.”
“That would be disrespectful, Gojyo,” Hakkai chided.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Gojyo didn’t know whether he felt more
like hitting Hakkai or hugging him. So he just gave him a light punch on the
arm. “She’s not gonna know or anything. Hell, I bet she fantasizes about
you,” he gave Hakkai his best suggestive leer. Gojyo felt a brief surge of
triumph as Hakkai seemed to perk up for a moment, but it didn’t last.
“It would be nice to think so,” he sighed. “But I’m quite sure her only
feelings are for Kougaji.”
“Look,” Gojyo said, trying to sound patient. “It’s your fantasy. You can
make things however you want... Wait,” he said, switching tactics. “Is there
anything, you know, that...” he couldn’t bring himself to say the name of
Hakkai’s sister/lover again. “Something that you might have wanted to do,
maybe, and She wouldn’t?”
“Well,” Hakkai considered. “She wasn’t fond of oral sex.”
“Shit. That sucks,” Gojyo winced at his own word choice. But Hakkai let it
slide.
“Believe it or not, Gojyo, there are male/female relationships based on more
than just sexual gratification.”
“Okay,” Gojyo skated over this patently ridiculous assertion. “Think about Yaone
or... or that chick with the fruit-stand back home on Market Street, right? The
blonde? You can’t feel disrespectful thinking that way about her...”
“Didn’t you sleep with her, Gojyo?”
“Yeah, but what’s that got to...”
“I can’t fantasize about one of my best friend’s girlfriends.”
“Why not?” asked Gojyo, exasperated. “I don’t mind. And besides,” he grinned at
his friend. “If you’re cutting out every woman I’ve been with you’re gonna run
out of passable options pretty fuckin’ fast.”
“I think I’d like to go to sleep now, Gojyo,” sighed
Hakkai.
“No, goddammit,” Gojyo rose and pounded his fist into his palm. “You are not
sleeping until we’ve gotten you off!” Now that had sounded... odd. He glanced
sheepishly at Hakkai, who chin resting on hands, was looking at him with a
spectacularly amused expression on his face.
“What?” challenged Gojyo.
“Nothing,” smiled Hakkai. “It’s nice that you care.”
Surprisingly Gojyo detected no irony or sarcasm in the statement. Still, you
could never be too sure with Hakkai.
“It is?” he asked. “You’re not thinking I’m some kinda perv or something?”
“No more than I did an hour ago,” Hakkai answered in his most reassuring tone.
Gojyo grinned and sat down on his own bed. Swinging his legs up and leaning
back, he lit another cigarette and shut his eyes. For a few minutes the only
sounds in the room were the crisp burning of cigarette paper and Gojyo’s long
exhalations.
“Hakkai?”
“Yes, Gojyo.”
“You still hard?” Gojyo heard a slight rustling from the other bed.
“No.”
“I guess the problem’s solved for now then, yeah?”
“It would seem so.” Was it Gojyo’s imagination or did Hakkai sound
disappointed? Gojyo had let him down. Literally. Let
down Hakkai and his poor penis which had, from the sounds of things, never been
sufficiently sucked. It seemed pretty unfair. He glanced over at his friend.
Hakkai was back beneath his blankets, curled on his side, facing Gojyo. But his
eyes were shut and Gojyo could read nothing in his expression.
He felt like an idiot. He hadn’t helped and he’d probably embarrassed the hell
out of Hakkai in the process of trying. He was embarrassed himself and, to top
it all off, now he had a raging erection which he couldn’t very well do
anything about under the circumstances. Him jerking off... that’d just be salt
in the wound, wouldn’t it? Unless... maybe it would help? Gojyo’s
hand stroked down his bare chest, stopping at the top button of his
now-uncomfortably-tight jeans. He flipped the buttons open one by one,
as quietly as possible and slid out of his jeans. He covered himself with a
single sheet and gave his cock an experimental stroke. He could sort of lead by
example, maybe.
Nah. Stupid thought. How would listening to another
guy going to work on himself help Hakkai? He wasn’t any more
gay than Gojyo was. At least he didn’t think so. But who knew with
Hakkai? He’d slept with his sister. He might... Gojyo once again smoothed his
palm over his cock. Definitely still hard. It was all
this talk about sex.
Maybe he should just get up, get dressed, go find a bar and get himself laid.
Maybe he could bring back a chick for Hakkai, too – someone who’d finally give
the poor guy a decent blow-job. Gojyo stroked a little harder, shivering
slightly at the sensation. One girl riding him, as he
watched another suck off Hakkai. His mind conjured a vivid picture,
not of the girls, but of his best friend, head tilted back, eyes half-closed,
lips parted. He shuddered pleasantly at the image and his cock throbbed against
his chafing palm. Hakkai bucking his hips, pushing himself deeper into the
anonymous girl’s willing throat.. maybe
moaning a little as he got close to coming. “Yeah.
Oh, yeah.”
“Gojyo?”
He froze and, as his hand stilled, his cock twitched in indignant protest.
Becoming aware of his actual surroundings once again, his breathing struck him
as unnaturally loud in the silence.
“Yeah?” he aimed for casual and missed, his voice coming out in an almost
breathless whisper.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Tits and stuff,” Gojyo lied.
“Describe it for me.”
Gojyo took a shaky breath. His heart was pounding. Hakkai wasn’t angry, wasn’t
hurt, wasn’t even asking him to stop. The idea that
maybe this could help, maybe he could help Hakkai after all...
Gojyo kicked off the sheet that suddenly felt too warm on his skin and resumed
his actions, more slowly now, grasping his cock from the base and moving his
hand upward in a smooth even stroke. He didn’t look over at Hakkai, didn’t know
if he was watching, but imagined that he was. And damn, if that didn’t kick up
the intensity a notch.
“Okay,” he dove ahead. “There’s this chick, right? A...” What color was her
hair? Did it matter? It was probably the kind of detail Hakkai would want. “A
blonde,” he decided. “and she’s straddling me, got my
dick up deep inside her and she’s leaning forward, right? Pushing her tits in
my face and...” There was no sound from the other bed. Had he fallen asleep?
Should he have included something about the blonde’s personality? Said she was
smart or something?
“Her friend,” he continued, pushing away his concerns. “Her friend’s this
red-head and she’s kneeling in front of you, Hakkai.” He could see it and God, it was making him even harder. “She’s on her knees on
the floor and you’re leaning against the wall. She’s got her mouth on your dick
and she’s just... uhh...” Gojyo’s hips rose slightly as he rubbed his thumb
over the dripping tip of his penis, spreading the viscous fluid over its
throbbing head. Thrusting upward he pushed himself harder into his fist. “She’s
just sucking and licking you like you’re the best thing she’s ever tasted and you’re just loving it. You’re... nggh.”
Gojyo heard a slight shifting from the other bed and... was
it his imagination, or was that the slap of skin on skin? Was Hakkai watching
him, or were his eyes shut as he listened to Gojyo describing the scene?
“You’ve got... mmh... your hands in her hair.” He risked a glance. Hakkai was
on his back, one knee bent. He was stroking a rather impressive erection... and
staring at Gojyo with an intensity that was almost as unnerving as it was
erotic.
“Hakkai,” Gojyo moaned, his eyes sliding shut. He heard a definite hitch in the
breathing from a few feet away, the definite slap of skin on skin. He increased
his own strokes, matching his pace to Hakkai’s. “You’re pushing yourself
into...” he was losing coherence and knew it. He tried to focus. This wasn’t
for him, after all. This was... “She’s, uhn... she’s...”
The imaginary scene was rapidly losing all importance, competing against, and
losing to, the small moans and sighs coming from the neighboring bed. “She’s...
fuck! I’m sucking you good and hard, Hakkai. And...” Hakkai cried out in
earnest and Gojyo’s entire body jerked in response. He dared another look and
this time couldn’t take his eyes away. Hakkai’s eyes were shut tightly, his
head thrown back, pressing into his pillow. His thighs were trembling as he
thrust his hips repeatedly up and off of the bed, pushing himself into a tight,
two-handed grip.
“You’re fucking me, Hakkai,” Gojyo whispered raggedly, half-wondering what the
hell was going to come out of his mouth next, and half not really caring. Hakkai’s face was all amazing in the moonlight, pale
and pretty and panting. “You’re fucking me,” he repeated, savoring the sound of
it. “And,” Gojyo gritted his teeth and slowed his hand, trying to stave off the
inevitable. “You’re making me come, Hakkai.” He wanted... oh, how he wanted.
“Oh, god.. uhh. Hakkai...
please, come for me.”
And then Gojyo felt like magic because, as something in him crested and broke,
and spasms of hot white pleasure pulsed through his body and spots of light
blurred his vision, he saw Hakkai fall into his own orgasm with a gasping
shudder and, as he was coming for the first time in god knows how long, he
called out Gojyo’s name.
Uneven breathing now came from both narrow beds and Gojyo, eyes shut and head
still spinning, just knew he was grinning like an idiot. He kind of knew what
he’d said in those last minutes and kind of knew he’d slipped up, but it still
felt like a victory – a team victory – and it still felt all kinds of good in
ways that went way beyond the afterglow of the best self-inflicted climax of
his life.
“Gojyo?” the voice was remarkably calm.
“Yeah?” he drawled back, too relaxed to be worried about what was going to come
next.
“Does this fantasy girl of yours cuddle after sex?”
“Nah,” Said Gojyo, crawling out of his bed and crossing the three short feet to
Hakkai’s. “But I do.”
Finis.
***
*Probably an equally lacking-in-substance sequel to follow... apologies in
advance.
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