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Consequence	By : Jedishampoo Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > Yaoi - Male/Male > Sanzo/Hakkai Views: 1741 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Consequence
- 1
Title: Consequence

Author: Jedishampoo

Pairing: Hakkai/Sanzo

Rating: NC-17

Summary: There really was only one choice for Sanzo to make. About 8700
words.

Author�s Notes: I wanted to try my hand at a Saiyuki �they have to do it
or die.� This was originally supposed to be a bit of 53 fun, but sharpeslass
convinced me to switch the players for a challenge, and I�ve always secretly
wanted to write 83. So you all get angst instead of crack. Thanks to same sharpeslass for the beta and the
premise.

The woman clutched the serving-tray beneath her breasts like it was something
precious. Her eyes held a desperate glint, and her fingers were so
white-knuckled it looked as if she might snap the tray in two. The two small
stone cups set upon it jiggled and drops of mud-brown liquid sloshed over their
sides.

�Please! Share just one drink with me, sir. I beg you.�

Sanzo tched. The damned woman just was not going to leave Hakkai alone. She�d
been lurking around him all night. And Hakkai, the polite bastard, wouldn�t
just tell her to fuck off.

�Hey, Hakkai. Quit stealin� all the cute girls, man.� That was Gojyo, leering
at the woman like an idiot. Sanzo wondered why Gojyo didn�t just drop it,
couldn�t see that the woman was psychotic, but realized in the same instant
that Gojyo probably could. If there was one thing that Sanzo could say about
Gojyo, it was that he understood women. He was probably trying, like Hakkai, to
be nice to her.

It was annoying.

�Ha! I certainly don�t mean to,� Hakkai said with his smallest, politest smile.
He directed the force of his politeness at the female. �I�m sorry, miss. We
have to leave early tomorrow, and I want to have a clear head.�

The woman smiled a crazy smile back at Hakkai. �It�s got chocolate in it.
Chocolate is... it�s very hard to come by around here.� The tray jiggled again.

Sanzo rubbed his eyes to forestall an impending headache. The crazy woman was
going to snap the tray in two, and the brown-whatever that was in the cups was
going to spill all over him, he just knew it, because he was sitting next to
Hakkai. Sanzo considered whacking Gojyo with the harisen, but Gojyo wasn�t the
real problem, for once. Hakkai was just too damned nice, sometimes.

�I wanted to share something precious with you,� the girl continued. She ducked
her head so that her black hair fell over her eyes.

�Well, forget him, sweetheart. I�ll have some, then,� Gojyo said, and reached
out a hand.

�Not before me, you pervert!� Goku yelled, spurred into competition by Gojyo
and the thought of chocolate. He stuck out an arm.

�No!� the girl yelled. She twisted her body to jerk the tray away. The two
idiots� hands collided on one of the cups and sent it flying. Sanzo felt the
inevitable warm splash as the brown-whatever drenched his face. It dripped down
onto his robes.

�Shit!�

�Oops!�

�Look what you made me do, Monkey--�

�Hey! It�s not my fault--�

�I wanted you to have it!� the girl cried with wide eyes at Hakkai. She started
to bawl and howl, mouth gaping wide and crooked, and Sanzo let go of the fan
he�d been fingering inside his robes and reached instead for his gun, because
someone was going to die--

And stupid, polite Hakkai laid one hand on Sanzo�s elbow in his most annoying
�now, now,� gesture, and took the other small cup and downed it in a gulp.

�Mmmm. Very tasty,� he coughed.

�I�m going to kill--� Sanzo opened his mouth to say, and accidentally caught a
taste of the stuff. Hakkai was lying: it tasted like shit. It was like
chocolate rice wine-- a disgusting combination, adding sweetness to something
that should be dry. �What the fuck is that?� he said, instead.

But the girl had gone completely crazy. �No, no no!� she wailed and dropped the
tray, and then covered her face with her hands and ran, threading past the
other tables, out the door.

The innkeeper had seen the whole thing, and he ran over to their table and
swiped at Sanzo with a towel. �Oh, sir, I�m very sorry. She�s usually harmless,
but if she comes back I�ll ask her to go home--�

�She�d said she was the local healer,� Hakkai said. He coughed again. He�d gone
a little pink in the face.

�Well. Sort of.� The fat innkeeper stopped swiping at Sanzo when Sanzo grabbed
the towel. �She�s pretty good with herbs and stuff. Shaowei�s a weird girl. She
keeps to herself, mostly, though she likes to come here some nights. And I
don�t mind, because like I said, she�s harmless enough.�

�As long as she stays away from us,� Sanzo said and stood. The sweet-brown
taste was lingering unpleasantly in his mouth. He considered spitting but
decided it would only add to his indignity. �I�m done. Upstairs. Let�s go. You
have a laundry, right?�

�Certainly, sir, just drop it outside the door--�

�Awww! I haven�t had dessert yet!�

�Shut up,� Sanzo said, and Goku shut up. �You coming?�

Hakkai and Gojyo looked at each other in that way they had. Sanzo waited. After
a few moments they both stood.

�I�m done,� Gojyo said, and stretched, glancing around. Sanzo assumed it was to
see if any girls were watching.

�We�re coming,� Hakkai said. He looked at the innkeeper. �If she returns, you�ll
be kind to her?�

�Of course! Of course. Like I said, she�s a little weird but she�s good with--�

Sanzo didn�t hear the rest because he�d stomped off, Goku in tow. The monkey
was blessedly quiet as they made their way through the inn and up the stairs,
but when they were in their room and the lights were out and they were
stretched out on their parallel beds, he coughed to get Sanzo�s attention.

�Make it quick,� Sanzo said.

�Sanzo. What do you think was wrong with that lady?� Goku asked in a quiet voice.

�Don�t know and don�t care,� Sanzo said, hoping to quell further conversation.
He was glad to be lying down. He didn�t think he�d drunk that much, earlier,
but he was feeling a little buzzed. And, for some reason, he kept wondering
about Hakkai, and whether or not he was in his bed, and how he was feeling. The
wondering was annoying, as was the floaty feeling he got when he shifted on the
bed. There was no reason that he, Sanzo, should be worrying about Hakkai, who
could take perfectly good care of himself and who had Gojyo there in case he
couldn�t, and--

Sanzo fell asleep.

***

Hakkai woke from an incredibly intense and erotic dream involving, of all
people, Sanzo. They�d been together on the floor of the Temple of the Setting Sun. Naked. Touching. There
had been the sound of heavy breathing-- it was still in his ears-- and the
overwhelming scent of incense, and Hakkai still smelled it, wherever he was--

The breathing resolved itself into that of Gojyo, sleeping rather quietly,
actually, in the bed a few feet away. It was dark, and the scent of incense
faded as Hakkai crept further into wakefulness.

Strange. He was sweating, though it was cool in the room. And he had a
very painful erection.

The smell that had eased with waking returned, of a sudden, like a wave. It
slopped over him with a sickly-sweet warmth that made his stomach turn and his
cock twitch at the same time. The images and sounds returned with it--Sanzo on
the floor of the temple, his naked sweaty stomach pressed against Hakkai�s, moaning
in a voice that Hakkai had never heard from Sanzo--

Hakkai may have moaned himself a little as he rolled over in the bed, hoping
that shifting positions would quell the half-dream. That technique often worked
when he had nightmares. Disturbing dreams were inevitable, but Hakkai had
learned to deal with them. It helped; the smells and touches and images
softened once more, and he was in the dark, cool inn-room, in his bed, the
familiar sound of Gojyo�s breaths replacing the Sanzo dream-moans.

Hakkai thought it a strange dream for him to have had. It wasn�t truly a
nightmare, but it was blasphemous, surely, in more ways than one. It wasn�t
something that could be helped, however. Tomorrow he�d just be unable to look
Sanzo in the eye for a few hours, and eventually, all would be back to normal.
Hakkai wanted to laugh. Instead he took a deep breath and willed his nether
regions to stop aching and throbbing so. It helped, a bit. Hakkai sighed with
relief, a bit.

A few seconds later the wave of aching nauseous sensation was back, even more
violently than before. This time it was a different scenario that Hakkai�s
senses played out for him, but still Sanzo was there. The smell of green and
the soft gold of Sanzo�s hair under his fingertips-- Hakkai rolled and
ached and felt his stomach turn until it went away again.

He didn�t know how long the cycle went on-- days? An hour? A few minutes? It
seemed endless. At one point Hakuryuu cooed in his ear, a soft kyuuu of
concern, but Hakkai brushed him off gently and suffered in as much silence as
he could maintain. At a later point he noticed that the moon was shining into
the room where it hadn�t before; it must have been an hour or two, at least,
that this thing-- sickness?-- had assailed him, over and over. Again, it was a
brief respite-- Sanzo, Sanzo�s skin, Sanzo�s breath.

During one of the inn-room-Gojyo-I�m-fine moments, Hakkai rolled out of
bed. He had to see Sanzo. He didn�t know why, but he knew Sanzo could make it
go away. Sanzo, Sanzo, Sanzo--.

�Kyuuuu!�

�I�m fine, Hakuryuu.� Sanzo, Sanzo, Sanzo.

�Hey Hakkai. You all right, man?�

�I�m fine, Gojyo.� Sanzo, Sanzo, Sanzo.

��Right.�

He must have gone out the door of his and Gojyo�s room and into the room Sanzo
was sharing with Goku had he picked the lock? he didn�t remember because
when he touched the bare skin of Sanzo�s shoulder as he lay on the bed,
everything was better, the world hurt less and felt gold and wonderful--

CLICK-BLAM! BLAM!

�What the fuck are you doing, you bastard?� It was Sanzo�s voice, not
hoarse and sensuous but loud and all-too-normal. And furious.

A hand on Hakkai�s chest shoved him away and he saw the steel barrel of Sanzo�s
gun hovering close by, pointed at his forehead. Hakkai had a few brief, blessed
moments of clarity. With some sense of self-preservation he willed his body and
eyes not to waver, not to provoke another shot. How in the world was he to
explain this?

Goku jumped out of bed-- not even he could sleep through that-- and stared at
Hakkai with eyes that were yellow and enormous in the moonlight. �Hakkai?
What�s wrong? Hakkai?�

�Sanzo. Help. I need you,� Hakkai whispered, and with faster reflexes than he�d
imagined he possessed, grabbed the gun and tossed it aside. It thunked against
the wall and he sort of fell forward, grabbing Sanzo�s bare shoulders, pressing
his face against Sanzo�s, and saw Sanzo�s almost terrified expression before he
was shoved away again, so hard that he fell backwards onto the hard, wooden
floor.

�What the fuck...� Sanzo whispered into the silence before the sound of
thundering footsteps filled the hallway.

***

Goku was blibbering. Sanzo stared at Hakkai on the floor. If that was really
Hakkai...

Nothing in Sanzo�s experience had prepared him for the jolt of sensation that
had passed through his body when Hakkai had touched him. Hakkai had moved in so
closely, like he was going to kiss him. And for a moment, there, Sanzo would
have let him.

�What the hell, Sanzo?� Gojyo, looking half-asleep, was leaning on the
doorjamb, shaku-jou in hand. �Why�d you shoot? Why�s Hakkai on the floor? He
looks bad. You look bad, man.�

The maybe-Hakkai moaned and curled onto his side, clutching his knees. Gojyo
bent down to grab his shoulder.

�Did you shoot him, Sanzo?�

�No!� Goku yelled in Sanzo�s defense. �Hakkai was bein� all weird...�

The innkeeper�s bulk filled the doorway recently vacated by Gojyo. Sanzo saw a
young man craning his neck over the innkeep�s shoulder. He�d seen the young man
around earlier, but his identity wasn�t important at the moment.

�What�s going on? Did someone fire a gun?� the large man asked.

�Shit,� Sanzo said, and went to retrieve his pistol from where it had fallen
between the bed and the wall. He took the few moments to catch his scattered
thoughts. Gojyo clearly thought the man on the floor was the real Hakkai. For
some reason, it had felt like the real Hakkai, to Sanzo, despite his
strange behavior. He�d known Hakkai for a long time, in good and bad. This
was bad.

�Did someone get shot? Do I need to call the constable?�

�No!� Sanzo said. When he found his gun he thumbed the safety on and tucked it
into his jeans.

�Just a misunderstanding,� Gojyo said. Sanzo had fired enough bullets into
enough inn walls that Gojyo knew the drill.

The hovering young man pushed past the innkeeper. �What�s wrong with that guy
on the floor?�

�He�s... ill,� Sanzo said. �We�re fine. Go away.�

�We don�t have a doctor here,� the innkeeper said. �He�s two towns away. I can
always call Shaowei--�

Shaowei. Amidst the confusion, a thought struck Sanzo like a bullet to
his own brain: that woman from earlier. She was crazy. She�d had two
cupfuls of something. One had been dumped on Sanzo. The other, Hakkai had
drunk. Hakkai moaned on the floor again and rolled over onto his other side.
Gojyo patted him and talked to him in a low voice.

�Herbs,� Sanzo said, looking at the innkeeper. �You said she dealt in herbs...�

�Oh, crap, Pop.� the young man said. �Shaowei. I. Uh. I think I know what
happened.�

Sanzo glared directly at the young man for the first time. He was tall and
good-looking in a country-boy kind of way. He resembled the innkeeper around
the eyes. �What is it?�

�Um. She needs to help your friend, there. She did something like that to me.
Uh. Once.� The young man�s round cheeks turned a bit pink, visible even in the
dim light from the hallway. �Did you drink the sweet stuff? It makes you
wanna... well, you sorta have to, uh. With her... sex and stuff...�

The innkeeper stared at the boy. �What? Liang, you idiot! Why didn�t you ever
tell me?�

�What the fuck is going on?� Sanzo had redrawn his pistol and was holding it
pointed upwards, with the promise that it could be pointed directly at them if
they didn�t come across with information right away.

�Well, it was kind of embarrassing, Pop... and she promised not to do it
again.� Liang�s voice lowered to a whisper. �To me, anyway...�

�What the--� Gojyo was watching the interplay now, one hand still holding
Hakkai on the floor.

The man huffed. �Go get her, then.� At the boy�s frightened look, he huffed
again. �Fine. I�ll go get her. Stay here and watch them.�

The innkeeper stomped down the hallway and Liang looked at Sanzo. His pink
cheeks paled.

For Sanzo had pointed his gun at the boy. �I said, what the fuck is going on?�

�Don�t shoot me! Please. Talk to Shaowei when she gets here.�

In the meantime, Goku and Gojyo had picked up Hakkai and carried him over to
Sanzo�s bed, but Sanzo was too focused on Liang to care. Much. Part of him
wanted to shove everyone else out of the room and lie there with Hakkai.
Touching Hakkai. Sanzo had never felt that before, and it made his insides
churn with nervousness. He gritted his teeth and tucked the gun back into his
pocket.

�Talk,� he said.

Liang held up a hand at Sanzo and sat on Goku�s bed. In a quick, nervous voice,
he told them that Shaowei was �sorta lonely,� and that sometimes, she...did
things with herbs or whatever �but I dunno, maybe it was something else �cause
she said the first time she�d done it, it was an accident, and she�d been doing
spells and stuff.�

�That�s fucked up,� Gojyo said from where he was sitting on the bed next to
Hakkai. Sanzo fought the urge to move Gojyo and take his place. �There�s a
cure, right?�

�Yeah,� Liang said, and looked down at his own hands, watching his fingers play
with each other. �You have to. You know. With her.�

�Doesn�t sound so bad, Hakkai.� Gojyo�s laugh was dryer than usual. He looked
at Sanzo. �But she�ll have a normal cure, right? �Cause Hakkai says he
can�t get at his qi.�

�She�d better have a normal cure,� Sanzo said, thinking not only of Hakkai.

�Sucks, doesn�t it?� Liang called over to Hakkai�s shivering form. �Do you keep
thinking about her? And seeing stuff, and hearing and smelling stuff?�

�Yes. Something like that,� Hakkai whispered, with a light laugh that sounded
like a death rattle.

Liang�s voice grew quiet again. �You feel like you�re going crazy and you�re
gonna die. Shaowei told me I would die if I went long enough, but she could
save me. It�s happened to other guys. We just don�t talk about it much. It does
go away right after.�

�Fuck or die,� Gojyo whispered.

�What?� Goku asked from his seat next to Liang.

�She gave me the sweet stuff. And she had some,� Liang went on, not answering
Goku. �Said that�s why it had to be her.�

Gojyo and Goku turned as one and stared at Sanzo. Gojyo coughed. �But she--�

�Shut the hell up. All of you,� Sanzo said, and started pacing. A few steps to
one wall, bare feet slapping on the floor, a turn and then a few feet to the
other wall. Hakkai twitched and moaned now and then. The rest of them watched
Sanzo pace, then looked at each other, then back at Sanzo. They all looked at
the door when heavy footsteps thumped down the hall.

The innkeeper was alone. He was pale and clammy-looking.

�Where�s the crazy bitch?� Sanzo asked, fingering the butt of his pistol.

�She�s dead.� The man swiped at his cheek with fat fingers. �She was hanging
from a tree in her own yard. I knew her parents. She�d put the rope around her
own neck and jumped, I think. The stool was right there...�

�Fuck,� Sanzo said. He glared at everyone and swallowed his own panic. Hakkai
was tough. He would get better, on his own, in a day or two. Or less, maybe.
�Pack up. We�re leaving.�

�You could wait for the doctor,� the innkeeper suggested. �Or we could send for
some of the monks in the next town, they know stuff...�

�I�m a fucking monk,� Sanzo said.

�The highest,� Hakkai croaked. He was rolled over facing the center of the
room. His smile was grim like death.

�You could at least stay the night. For free,� the innkeeper said. Tears rolled
down his cheeks.

Sanzo ignored him. �You guys. Now! I said pack! Wait,� he told Gojyo as he
stood. �Goku, grab Hakuryuu and Gojyo�s and Hakkai�s things. You, Liang, get my
robes. Gojyo, you pack the stuff in here.�

Gojyo did it without complaint, as if he sensed that Sanzo didn�t want to be
left alone with Hakkai. Which he didn�t. Sanzo gestured the rest of them out of
the room. Liang grabbed his father�s elbow and nudged him out the door.

Sanzo looked at the bed and saw Hakkai looking back at him. His eyes were
pained, his face shiny with sweat. Sanzo fought the urge to rush over there and
lay his hand on Hakkai�s face, to touch him, feel the sweat between his
fingers, to ease the pain. It was an urge he�d never had to fight before.

�Damn you,� Sanzo whispered. Hakkai closed his eyes, and Sanzo stomped out the
door to wait for his robes.

***

The boy, Liang, had been perfectly right, Hakkai decided. He did feel
like he wanted to die.

He was curled up in the back of the Jeep as Gojyo drove them all. Hakkai slept
now and then in fits and starts, but the bumpy roads didn�t help him any, and
when he did sleep, there were the entirely inappropriate Sanzo dreams.

He hurt all over, he wanted to vomit and couldn�t, and his erection ached with
horrible constancy. At least Gojyo had covered Hakkai with a blanket and Goku
kept him supplied with water to replace the liquids he�d had lost through
sweat. Like he�d told Gojyo, he couldn�t even access his own qi to help
himself. They�d all agreed that a doctor was out of the question, considering
Hakkai�s youkai nature.

Several times Hakkai had considered asking Goku to thump him with the nyoi-bo,
if only to knock him unconscious, to help him achieve some blessed relief.
Better yet, maybe he could ask Sanzo to just shoot him and end this miserable
sexual sickness for good.

Or beg Sanzo to touch him. On the few occasions over the past night and day
that Sanzo had brushed near him, Hakkai had experienced his only true moments
of blissful relief. Better, however, that he should beg for the bullet to the
head, for how to ask such a thing of Sanzo?

Sanzo, I want you. Please touch me. Let me love you. I must-- Sanzo
would be more likely to shoot him.

Sanzo was hardly unaffected. Hakkai could tell, even through his own suffering.
Now and then Sanzo would look at him and Hakkai would catch a glint of
something he�d never seen in Sanzo�s eyes before. Uncertainty? Longing?
Whatever the case, the spell-poison-whatever was nasty stuff.

The smells of the countryside around them were all fresh and green, as green as
the smell he�d begun to associate with his sexual Sanzo fever-dreams-- was
it only last night they�d started? Hakkai tried to keep his whimper quiet
as he thought of Sanzo, his friend, his boss, of a sort; of touching his hair
and smelling the green--

�Hakkai! You all right?� Gojyo called back. For a second the green was replaced
by the smell of tobacco smoke blowing into the back seat. Sanzo and Gojyo had
been chain-smoking even more than usual.

�No,� Hakkai said, truthfully.

�Shit,� Gojyo mumbled. �Goddamit, Sanzo. Hakkai says you might be able to help.
Why the hell won�t you?�

�What do you expect me to do?� Sanzo growled. Goku moaned at the same time as
Hakkai: those two had been arguing like this, on and off, all day. For them to
argue was nothing new, but now they had Hakkai to worry about, Hakkai upping
the tension level between them all. If they were attacked before Hakkai could
be cured, how would they protect him and cover themselves at the same time?

It was a worry. Hakkai felt awful in more ways than one. If only Sanzo would
touch him, lay healing hands on him... And Hakkai would touch in return, in
ways he�d never considered touching another man, let alone Sanzo. To have those
clear, violet eyes focused on him, to feel Sanzo�s heartbeat, hear Sanzo�s
hoarse breathing as he begged for more--

�I dunno!� Gojyo was answering Sanzo�s earlier question. �Do some of your sutra
mojo or something? Anything?�

�You want me to kill him, idiot?� Sanzo said. �Because that�s what this sutra
does.�

Don�t say it, don�t say it, don�t say it, Hakkai thought in a brief
moment of freedom from the ache and the want.

Gojyo said it. �Well, how about Kama
Sutra?� Gojyo always made his most inappropriate sexual jokes when he was
upset.

�What�s that? Is that one of the Tenchi-whatever scriptures?� Goku piped in
from beside Hakkai�s head.

Hakkai could hear the distinct click of Sanzo�s pistol, even over the
breeze and the sound of Hakuryuu�s engines.

�Don�t! Shut the fuck up!� Sanzo�s voice was high and thin. Hakkai was
humiliated all over again. He wondered, not for the first time, just how
affected Sanzo was by all this. He�d only had a taste of the potion, or
whatever it was. Still, Hakkai had felt his skin twitch beneath his fingers,
only the night before...

Hakkai�s insides turned themselves in all the wrong directions. His skin was
covered with acid: every inch burned and was tight and Sanzo�s hands were on
him, and the tight was Sanzo�s body wrapped around him, Sanzo gripping his ass
and pushing him in deeper, until they were locked together--

He was in no way getting better, as Sanzo had suggested he might. Only worse.

�Oh, God.� Hakkai couldn�t stop the cry that fought its way out of his
dry throat. �Sanzo-- Please--�

�Shut the fuck up, Hakkai!� Sanzo yelled.

Was that the gun, pointed at him? Hakkai didn�t care, he welcomed it, anything
of Sanzo�s, even his own death.

With a screaming, indignant kyuuuu, the Jeep screeched to a halt and
Hakuryuu transformed. The four of them and their things were dumped into a heap
in the dirt.

Goku looked stunned. Sanzo�s beautiful face was red and furious. Gojyo�s laugh
was harsh-sounding.

�Guess we�re camping here,� Gojyo quipped.

Hakkai�s laugh as he lay curled on the ground must have sounded somewhat manic.
�Good dragon, Hakuryuu,� he said, and laughed again until Goku splashed some
water on his face.

�I wish. I wish I could help, Hakkai,� Goku said, his young face looking
perfectly wretched. �I just don�t know how. Or why Sanzo won�t, if you say he
can.�

�Too bad we can�t just call that Yaone chick. Bet she�d be able to do somethin�
for you, Hakkai. Probably better than somethin�. Better than this fucking
cherry-assed monk--�

There was no gun-click and Hakkai briefly wondered why, until the twisting,
smelling, aching took over again, worse than before-- every time was worse than
before. Goku was patting him on the head, but the touch wasn�t enough, would
never be enough.

�Goddamned dragon. Where�s my gun? When I find it I�m going to shoot you all--�

Hakkai heard Gojyo�s laugh. �I got it. I�ll trade you. If you do something for
me, first.�

�Fuck you,� Sanzo said. SanzoSanzoSanzoSanzo... �Goku, leave him alone
and go get more water.�

Sanzo�s voice, tight and God, so beautiful. Hakkai couldn�t care
anymore, could only do--

Before Hakkai realized he�d even stood he was tackling Sanzo to the dusty
ground, felt the air whoosh out of Sanzo�s surprised lungs. That was okay,
because Hakkai would fill them. He had Sanzo�s hands trapped in his and was
kissing him like the crazy person he was and all was lovely. Sanzo whimpered
beneath him and time stopped and the wrenching in Hakkai�s gut stopped and the
sounds and smells and tastes were not the taunting dream-images, but were all
real, and the entire world had calmed because he had Sanzo and nothing else
mattered. There was only one ache left, the stiff, throbbing one pressed into
Sanzo�s belly. Hakkai had to get their clothes off, had to have it all--

�Gethimoffme gethimoffme get him off me, fucker. Bastard!� Sanzo had
wrenched his face away and was begging for help. Hands grabbed Hakkai�s
shoulders and pulled him off and up.

�Hakkai. Man, we gotta--� Gojyo began. It didn�t seem that he could continue.

Gojyo. Hakkai slumped back onto his friend. The too-brief touch had helped;
Hakkai found himself thinking clearly and rushed to speak while it lasted.

�I�m so sorry, Sanzo.� Hakkai hurt everywhere. He�d caused his friends pain;
his was nothing-- he�d deserved it. �I�m so sorry. Go ahead and kill me. Give
him the gun, Gojyo.�

Sanzo�s groan as he stood and brushed himself off sounded pained to Hakkai�s
Sanzo-sensitized ears. There was silence for a few moments while everyone
waited to hear what Sanzo would say.

�Tie him up or something,� Sanzo pronounced. Then he whispered, �Please.�

***

Sanzo sat in the dark and smoked in jerky, quick movements, trying to hide the
way his fingers still shook. Across the campsite, somewhere, Hakkai moaned,
unintelligibly, but still Sanzo�s frenzied brain told him that Hakkai was
calling for him, was desperately crying his name. Every moan resonated in
Sanzo�s bones so that he could hardly stand it.

Gojyo and Goku did their camp business but glared at him every now and then.
Even when Sanzo wasn�t looking at them, he could feel their angry and confused
eyes boring into his skin.

Sanzo didn�t care about them. But, contrary to what the idiots thought, he was
worried about Hakkai.

Hakkai was a crazy fucker, no doubt about it. But he usually kept his shit
together, more than any of them-- hell, more than Sanzo, even. For Hakkai to be
acting like that--

The night was cool and green and mostly quiet, and Sanzo had time for
introspection. He knew how he, himself felt-- he, who hated to be touched,
who�d managed to always avoid-- To yearn for Hakkai�s touch until he feared the
yearning-- Hakkai must have it a hundred times worse.

Even that brief... Sanzo had panicked. Not because he was truly afraid for his
life: not from Hakkai, whom he trusted implicitly, under normal circumstances.
But because it had thrilled him in a way that he�d never expected to be
thrilled, and that he never wanted to feel again.

On cue, Hakkai moaned once more, and Sanzo�s body twitched all over, in every
nerve, and asked him if he was quite sure about that.

Sanzo was so inwardly-focused that he almost jumped when Gojyo spoke from
beside him.

�I might forgive you, Monk, for makin� me tie up Hakkai,� Gojyo said, and blew
smoke at Sanzo. �Maybe. If he hadn�t agreed, then never.�

Sanzo was so worried that he didn�t� even feel like telling Gojyo to fuck off.

�I�ve never seen herbal- or chemistry-magic like this before,� he admitted in a
quiet voice. And Gojyo, for once, didn�t fuck with him in return.

�You feelin� it, too?�

Sanzo didn�t answer, just ground a spent cigarette under his bootheel and lit
another one.

�Thought so.� Gojyo exhaled and sat next to Sanzo on the log. �Shit. And
there�s nothin� we can do. Is there.�

It wasn�t really a question. Sanzo didn�t tell Gojyo that, in that moment, he
wished more than anything that he had the dharmic powers to undo this. To get
back to normal. To continue on their journey as if this had never happened. One
thing was for sure: it would teach Hakkai and Gojyo and Goku to beware crazy
women bearing drinks.

Then again, in Gojyo�s case, at least, it probably wouldn�t.

Gojyo spoke again. �I still wish we could call Kougaiji�s crew. Maybe there�s a
way.�

�If we could do that, we�d already be there,� Sanzo said. He couldn�t help
adding, �Idiot.�

�Fuck you,� Gojyo said, voice growing louder in reply. �Hey. I�d do it, if it
was me. �Cause I�m not a complete asshole. Why don�t you try something? Anything.�

�It�s out of the question,� Sanzo growled. This was the sort of matter he
avoided most of all, was most unfamiliar with. Something else would present
itself, he thought. Something, anything: Gojyo�s idea wasn�t a bad one, and if
Sanzo could have figured out a way to accomplish it, he would have. Anything to
avoid doing ... that. Hakkai moaned again and Sanzo�s belly tightened in
sympathetic arousal, and Sanzo wondered yet again whether or not that was true.

�Uptight sonofabitch,� Gojyo growled in response. �I�d totally do it. To help
my friend, Sanzo-sama.�

�Go ahead, shit-for-brains!�

�It doesn�t work that way,� Gojyo said. �But I wish it did. �Cause I actually
like Hakkai, and at least I know he likes me.�

�I don�t give a fuck who Hakkai likes,� Sanzo yelled, angry at Gojyo and the
truth and the sudden jab of poisoned, spell-caused jealousy he�d felt at the
thought of Gojyo doing what Hakkai needed.

�I wish that lady hadn�t killed herself,� Goku interjected. He sounded
despondent.

�I like you just fine, Sanzo,� came Hakkai�s tired, amused voice. �And not just
because of this mess. I�m so sorry.�

His voice had lowered at the end to a near-whisper. Sanzo sighed in defeat.
Defeat by the situation, defeat by the truth, and his own weak body. He really
had only one choice to make. They had to continue west. They could only do it
with Hakkai, with him whole and well, and if the innkeeper�s son and Sanzo�s
intuition were to be believed, there was a quick solution staring Sanzo in the
eyes.

Hakkai. Hakkai. Sanzo had never looked at anyone that way, least of all
his-- companion.

Sanzo supposed he�d done crazier shit in pursuit of their mission. And Hakkai?
Well, Hakkai had fucked his sister. Sanzo thought he knew what choice Hakkai
would make, whether he was in his right mind or not.

They could deal with the consequences later. Sanzo stood and tossed yet another
cigarette onto the ground at his feet.

�Fine,� he said.

Gojyo looked gratifyingly stunned. �Really?� he said. He didn�t sound as happy
about it as he might have, given the circumstances.

�What did I just say, moron?� Sanzo said in a clear voice. He�d decided upon a
path and he was going to follow it. That didn�t mean he knew exactly how
it was to be accomplished. At least it was Hakkai, and not one of the idiots,
or a stranger... �Keep Goku and Hakuryuu here. Don�t follow us.�

�Uh. Okay, man.� Gojyo now looked distinctly uncomfortable. Sanzo thought it
worth the decision if only to have seen that on the self-righteous bastard�s
face. �Just. Go somewhere far. Okay, Sanzo-chan?�

Sanzo didn�t deign to reply, just walked over to where Hakkai lay bound,
hand-and-foot, on the ground, shivering and puffing harsh breaths into the
grass. Sanzo bent down and untied Hakkai�s feet. He pulled out his gun.

�Help him stand,� he told Gojyo and Goku. To Hakkai he said, �If you try
anything before I say, I�ll kill you.�

�I understand,� Hakkai said as he was hoisted to his feet. He sounded relieved,
breathy but coherent. Sanzo left Hakkai�s hands tied behind his back and cocked
the pistol so that Hakkai would know it was pointed at the back of his head.

�Walk until I say stop.�

�I understand, Sanzo,� Hakkai said. This time it was purred: low, throaty,
sensual.

He couldn�t help it: it was extremely strong herbal-chemical-magic,
Sanzo told himself when his heart thumped at the sound of it.

�Geez, Sanzo!� Whether it was Goku or Gojyo speaking, Sanzo didn�t care.

They started walking, Hakkai in front, Sanzo behind, slow, steady steps. They
followed a little animal-trail into the woods and were soon enveloped by the
dark. Moonlight shining through the branches spotlighted them every few steps;
Sanzo could see it gleaming off the top of Hakkai�s sweat-slicked dark hair.

Hakkai halted once, too early. �Please stop, Sanzo,� he begged.

�Walk,� Sanzo said, and nudged him in the back with the gun. He wasn�t ready.
�Just a little further.�

A few dozen more steps and they reached a little grassy clearing, only a couple
meters in diameter. Sanzo knew it was probably perfect for... that. It seemed
Hakkai thought so as well, because he stopped again, getting another nuzzle in
the spine from the barrel of Sanzo�s gun.

�Please, Sanzo. I can�t go much further.� Hakkai hung his head and stood in
place, a dejected statue. His fingers were twitching among his bound wrists.
�Please.�

�Fine, then. Stop.� Sanzo thumbed the safety of his gun and tucked it away.
When he glanced up again, Hakkai was close, too close, eyes dark in his pale
face.

�Sanzo,� he whispered.

�Hey--�

Hakkai leaned-fell into Sanzo, his face in Sanzo�s shoulder, mouth open, tongue
sliding up and down Sanzo�s neck. �I have to, Sanzo,� he mumbled.

Sanzo knew that, but wasn�t ready for...whatever. He tried to back a step or
two away and Hakkai followed like they were attached at the chest, his mouth
locked to Sanzo�s throat, the wet swirling of his tongue and his moans powerful
magic of their own in the moonlit forest. Sanzo hadn�t known his body could
produce chills like this-- he wasn�t ready--

He was stopped from behind by something cool and hard-- a tree?-- and
Hakkai�s mouth was at his ear. Sanzo knew he could shove Hakkai away, should
shove Hakkai away, but he didn�t.

�Sanzo,� Hakkai whispered. �Please untie my hands. Please.�

It was a plea that Sanzo could not ignore. He was too focused on the wet, hot
sucking at his neck, could only fumble his hands around Hakkai�s waist to work
at the knot. It was too difficult to concentrate, too new and surreal. Surely
this sensual being couldn�t be Hakkai, his-- almost always-- rational friend.

That thought did it for a moment: Sanzo�s head cleared somewhat. They had to do
this, it wasn�t just some sudden crazy fancy that had overtaken them. It was an
imperative. That it felt much too good was irrelevant.

Then Hakkai�s hands were free and his palms captured Sanzo�s cheeks and he was
kissing Sanzo again, like before in the road but not, not quite as crazed but
with more intent, slow, insistent.

Sanzo didn�t know what to do. Every new experience, one after another, was
coming too quickly for him: Hakkai�s slender body pressed against him, the hard
shove into his belly. He focused on the mouth. Now that the thing was to
be done he let himself taste it, tasted Hakkai�s moans and breath, hot and
desperate and not at all Hakkai, but no less arousing. He wondered if that was
what Hakkai was like when he was...

�Sanzo. Thank you. Thank you,� Hakkai whispered between kisses when he came up
for air. At certain moments he almost sounded normal. �You feel so good. I
dreamed about touching you. All night. Let me show you. �

Hakkai pressed Sanzo into the tree for what seemed like hours while Sanzo
learned to stop wondering, learned to kiss back. His tongue followed the lead
of Hakkai�s in his mouth, slow, wet circles, jabs, and it did taste like what
he needed; the plan, the thing would work, they would be free whether
they wanted it or not. Sanzo gave up trying to stifle his own moans.

�You need me to touch you, I know it, Sanzo...�

Yes, yes, he did. Hakkai�s hands were everywhere they could find skin. It
wasn�t until Sanzo felt the fingers at his belly, sliding into his jeans, that
he panicked once more.

�Wait-- Dammit, Hakkai!� His robe was open and hanging from his arms-- how
had that happened? -- and Sanzo didn�t know what was expected of him--

Hakkai pulled back a bit, seeming reasonable for a moment or two despite his
glazed eyes and shiny face. He leaned his sweaty forehead against Sanzo�s. �I
have to. I�m dying of it. I hurt so much, I swear,� he huffed. �God, Sanzo, I
have to-- I�m sorry-- No, I�m glad--�

His hand squeezed Sanzo�s ass through his jeans. Hakkai wanted to do that--

�I can�t. I can�t-- Can�t you...� Sanzo could hardly breathe, himself. �Can�t
you just jerk off or something?�

�Hah.� Hakkai�s laugh against Sanzo�s cheek sounded almost amused. �I suppose I
can try. I haven�t-- hah-- had the chance. But you�re here now, Sanzo. As long
as you stay here with me...�

Hakkai�s hand left Sanzo�s ass and slid up under his own loose shirt, then down
into his pants, and he moaned into Sanzo�s mouth. When Hakkai�s fingers freed
his own cock and grabbed it, his Ngh! of pleasure made Sanzo realize that he�d
gotten what he wanted but he was hard, too; those fingers should be squeezing
him, instead...

Sanzo dwelled in the haze of the ngh-taste in his mouth and the
slap-sound of skin on skin as Hakkai worked himself. At some point Sanzo had
slid his hands under Hakkai�s shirt, was clenching his waist, slippery with
sweat, and could feel the measured undulations of Hakkai�s muscles through his
skin.

Too soon the movements and the nghs grew sharp and short, discordant.
Hakkai came and Sanzo felt the wetness of it on his own abdomen, through the
thin cloth of his shirt. Hakkai�s hand shoved under the shirt, spreading it about
on Sanzo�s belly, his long fingers working it into Sanzo�s skin. It was too
arousing for words.

�God, Sanzo,� Hakkai breathed.

�Did it work?� Sanzo managed to breathe back.

�No,� Hakkai said. �You need to help me...�

By then Sanzo�s body was in full rebellion against his rational mind, and
winning. �Yes. Please,� he said, and he didn�t feel humiliated at all by the
admission. Hakkai laughed against his lips again.

***

Hakkai had given up on his rational mind long since past, some time earlier that
afternoon, perhaps. He was already hard again: the resurgence of ache and want
was almost expected. Hakkai knew the signs, could feel the sensations returning
that had wracked his body over and over for the past twenty-four hours.

It had been incredibly erotic to touch himself. As long as he was holding onto
Sanzo, Hakkai could do anything. Ultimately, however, it had only prolonged the
agony. It was a nasty sort of aphrodisiac that the dead Shaowei had offered
him, indeed.

Being near the object of his lust was better than anything. It consumed him, in
fact, until nothing else mattered. Hakkai had finally recognized the flaw in
himself that the poison had found and exploited. That didn�t mean he wouldn�t
allow it to do so, however, now that he had the chance to indulge it.

�You�ll help me, won�t you?� he whispered into Sanzo�s ear as the pulled off
the white robe and then clenched Sanzo�s slender waist, his ribs, removing the
tight silk shirt that was keeping Sanzo away from him.

�Yes...�

�Thank you,� Hakkai said. It was almost too easy. Up went Sanzo�s arms
as Hakkai yanked the black silk over Sanzo�s blond head. The arm-covers
would stay; they were too fiddly, but the jeans would have to go...

Hakkai took a moment to admire the pale chest before him, the defined shape of
the muscles shifting beneath the skin with every breath Sanzo fought to catch.
Hakkai felt all the ridges and indents with his fingers, one by one, before
thumbing open the button of Sanzo�s low-slung jeans. He very much enjoyed the
sharp, half-bitten off cry that Sanzo uttered when Hakkai found Sanzo�s
erection, jutting against his abdomen just below the zipper.

What did Hakkai care any more that the object of his lust was a man, or that it
was Sanzo? It didn�t matter, only that Sanzo was there and panting into
Hakkai�s fevered neck and that Hakkai was smelling the scent of his soft hair,
clean like the outdoors, lovely in a different way from the smoke and
Sanzo-taste of his mouth. All of it eased Hakkai�s suffering, and that was all
he cared about.

His fingers stroked the skin of Sanzo�s cock, smooth and hot like his own.

�This won�t help, but I think you might enjoy it if I do it, anyway,� Hakkai
told Sanzo�s ear.

�Bastard,� Sanzo mumbled. Hakkai felt the entire slim body tense until he
clenched his fingers about the swollen skin of Sanzo�s erection: nearly all of
Sanzo�s muscles slackened at once. �Yes,� Sanzo said then.

Rational Hakkai felt momentary guilt, then drowned it by kissing Sanzo again,
feeling the sharp desperate breaths that poor Sanzo�s lungs produced. Surely
they couldn�t be half as painful as those Hakkai had endured all day.

�You�ll like this, too,� Hakkai promised, and kissed his way down Sanzo�s
breastbone to his navel, yanking Sanzo�s jeans down his thighs as he went. He
tasted his own come on Sanzo�s flat belly. It had been a very long time since
he�d experienced that particular taste, but that was only half-remembered now,
pale in comparison to the sharp of the moment.

His lips found Sanzo�s cock and tasted it, too, wondering if they all tasted
like that. If his did. They must not, because this tasted like Sanzo, Sanzo.
Hakkai�s own moan was the loudest in the quiet forest, the green. God,
he hurt. He was still Sanzo�s prisoner in this-- who was he to tease?

He could feel the throbbing, the beat of Sanzo�s frantic heart when he wrapped
his fingers around the base and gave an experimental pull. The smooth head was
quite compact and, apparently, quite sensitive on Sanzo�s untutored body:
Sanzo�s knees gave out and he slumped down the tree, huffing. Hakkai followed.
He would experience it all, leave no stone unturned.

Stone-- he was stone, haha--

Hakkai�s fingers and mouth worked more quickly than he might have possibly
imagined.

�Please. Please,� said Sanzo�s hoarse cries as he came against Hakkai�s
cheek, and it was just like his poisoned fever-dream, and Sanzo was begging him
for more. Hakkai�s body was begging, too, as he swiped at his cheek. The pale,
viscous fluid joined the streaks on Sanzo�s belly.

�Yes,� Hakkai said. His quick fingers made short work of the buckles on Sanzo�s
boots. These he yanked off and then the jeans by the hem. Sanzo helped by
lifting his hips from the grass, and he was hard again already, too, because
only one thing would be enough for either of them, and they could only get it
from each other nasty little poison. But could Sanzo ever say again that
he didn�t need Hakkai?

That was a stupid thought, Hakkai�s mind told him, but he ignored it in
the requirements of the moment. His own loose clothing was shed even more
easily than Sanzo�s had been. Soon he kneeled, naked, between Sanzo�s legs and
looked at his partner in this mutual forced need-fest, touched his face, his
hair, his hands with their silk covers.

Sanzo�s eyes were wide with lust and some little fear, Hakkai imagined. He felt
a momentary tenderness and desire to kiss those swollen, slightly-parted lips
more gently than he had ever imagined: but it didn�t last long, couldn�t when
his every muscle screamed at him finish this, to end the ache and the want. In
the end he simply swiped at Sanzo�s stomach, retrieving their intermingled
semen, and swirled it about one finger.

A canny sort of expression entered Sanzo�s eyes. �Don�t think I don�t know what
you�re doing. What you�ve been doing,� he said.

Hakkai�s quiet desperation was not in the mood for that sort of talk. He was
too close...

�I know what I�m doing, Sanzo,� Hakkai said and kissed Sanzo again, more
forcefully than he�d wanted to moments before, lips smashing down and tongue
driving Sanzo�s protests back down beneath the lust, where they belonged. He
pushed his finger between Sanzo�s buttocks, found the tight opening.

�You have to help me, Sanzo,� Hakkai whispered. He tried to slide his finger in
further, let this thumb brush the incredibly soft underside of Sanzo�s
testicles, a little more, there--

�It hurts,� they whispered at the same time, into each others� mouths. Sanzo�s
shock must have been greater, for his body jerked and Hakkai�s finger found its
way.

�Ah-- That was--� Sanzo tried to say.

�Hush,� Hakkai whispered with infinite patience while his body raged on without
his mind-- tight, so tight--

�Ah--�

�Sanzo... Sanzo,� Hakkai whispered into Sanzo�s mouth. That basic anatomy
class at University had certainly come in handy on this trip, hadn�t it?
Hakkai�s disconnected mind whispered to his body. Hakkai�s finger pushed, and
Sanzo sobbed and shuddered and his body arched up into Hakkai�s and
Hakkai�s body reached the limit of its tolerance.

He replaced his finger inside Sanzo with his own throbbing, hurting, dying,
I�m dying, surely cock, and it was exactly like loving his fever-dream
Sanzo, his hair soft against Hakkai�s fingers and his thighs and hands gripping
Hakkai�s body, pushing as Hakkai rocked inside him, over and over.

Whatever Sanzo�s mind was doing his body was synced to Hakkai�s: they were in
the temple with the incense; they were back on the floor of the forest, locked
so close in this back-and-forth that they were eternal, dark and light, and
Sanzo was the light, he was what would save Hakkai�s life and how many times
had he done that, and would do so again?

Would it ever feel the same, though? No, Hakkai�s mind and body told him, nothing
would ever feel like this. Sanzo�s neck tasted like sweat and dirt and
leaves, and his low moans of please, please, please were the questions
and Hakkai�s louder breaths of yes, yes yes were the answers.

Hakkai had lost track of time, too focused elsewhere: the tight in his body was
only growing and it had been impossibly tense for too long, already, surely it
couldn�t go on like this forever, because he was still dying. After forever or
a few minutes, or both, Sanzo�s body shuddered and his muscles clenched about
Hakkai�s cock, buried inside. The tight pushed Hakkai over the edge, and
with a final Sanzo!he climaxed also, body losing momentum but forcing
itself inside just a few more times, to force every last ounce of Oh, thank
you, thank you into Sanzo.

Neither of them could breathe correctly when Hakkai collapsed onto Sanzo�s
chest. And no longer were their bodies in sync: for several minutes their harsh
inhalations and exhalations were ragged, off-tempo from each other.

But the ache, the dying sick was gone. And in Hakkai�s breathless, worn-out
relief there was... nothing.

After a few more minutes a warmth began to grow in Hakkai�s limbs. It was
familiar and welcome: the return of his qi. Should I use it on Sanzo?
Hakkai wondered. With the return of his mind to his body, another familiar
sensation was growing: guilt.

Hakkai raised his head to risk a glance at Sanzo�s face. Sanzo�s eyes were
focused somewhere above Hakkai, on the forest canopy, perhaps. Or the moon,
more likely.

�Sanzo,� Hakkai said, quietly, beginning the process of peeling their sticky
bodies apart. Surreal didn�t even begin to describe their current situation.
And it had felt so right, only minutes ago. �I�m--�

�Can it,� Sanzo huffed. One of his hands was slapping about the forest floor.

Cigarettes. He wants his cigarettes, Hakkai realized. How normal. He was
already sitting up; he found them for Sanzo and handed them over. Without a
word Sanzo leaned against the tree. He tapped out the lighter and a cigarette,
lit it, and took a few puffs.

Hakkai looked at Sanzo. Whether or not they were supposed to be embarrassed,
whether or not Sanzo wanted to hear his apologies, Hakkai was still
responsible--

�Are you you? That�s all I want to know,� Sanzo said, interrupting
Hakkai�s train of thought.

�Yes,� Hakkai said, and realized that embarrassment was not to be an issue. He
was probably meant to forget the whole thing. After a bit, however, he felt
that in all honesty he should qualify his previous answer. �I think.�

�Good,� Sanzo said. �I think.� He stood. His body seemed stiff. He seemed to be
searching for his clothing.

Trying to be polite, Hakkai turned his head and began searching out his own
clothing. He wondered how he�d managed to toss his shirt so far into the trees.

After a few moments they were both dressed. Sticky, dirty, and rumpled, but
dressed. They were ready to face the consequences. There would always be
consequences, just as there would always be new, and difficult, and
unlooked-for, challenges to face. Hakkai�s forbidden embarrassment and guilt
were slowly replaced by the dark humor that gotten him through so many days.

�I think I understand, now, why Miss Shaowei was willing to do what she did,�
he remarked.

Sanzo hmphed and took another drag off his cigarette. �No wonder those
idiot boys didn�t tell their parents,� was Sanzo�s reply.

Hakkai�s stomach hurt with his laugh. It was a good hurt.

***

END.

Thank you for reading! It wasn�t what I expected, but then no story I write
ever is. Comments are wonderful, constructive criticism is encouraged (please, if you see any OOC or POV or tense issues,
especially); even flames are loved.
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