The Dreaded puff puff fruit

It was hot and sticky outside of the spider cafe, and Paula, the former Miss double fingers of Baroque Works sighed, wishing they had pick a cooler island to settle on.
outside, Miss golden week was painting for the amusement of some new customers, and the dolts seemed to like it.
"That's soooo pretty!' a older man said, with bright blond hair and a mustache.
the guy had a bit of a beer gut to him, and after finding out they didn't serve any booze at the cafe, took out a jug of his own.
"Take it easy fatty.." The man next to him sighed, the guy was tall and wore jeans and a black vest, to his fat friends grey sweat pants and a sweat stained yellow shirt.
"Don't call me fatty youngster! I'll have you know I used to be a great warrior!"
"Used to be, is the key word.." his friend said with a grin, and brushed his short green hair.
"I should send you flying!"
Paula sighed and looked for Mr. 4 and 5 to help stop a fight, then cursed as she recalled she had sent him out with pizza.
Mr.5 was busy showing off his new fire fighter skills to a frail little beatty, with long brown hair and a brown halter top with a jean skirt.
"Soooo amazing.." she sighed and batted her eyelashes.
"He he well you know.."
Miss Christmas and Miss Valutimes were missing too, and Paula left her spot, watching the blond and green hair man shove each other to track them down.

"Foood...food..." Croaked the voice.
Mr.4 stopped, hearing a young man in suffering and slowly walked over.
"What....is....wrong?" He asked in his slow fashion.
Before him, what appeared to be a young man in only Red shorts with long red hair lay on the ground, looking like he was whitering away.
"Sooo...Hungry...please..." He croaked.
Mr.4 paused to think about whether or not to give a pizza to the young man, and then looked down in shock as the young man seemed to telaported, before griping onto both of Mr.4's shoulders.
sharp pain screamed though him, but before he could use his massive power to free himself, it all drained away.
"mmm, that's sooo much better." The young man said, his frame filling out into a well muscled body.
"Thanks for the food tubbo."
Mr.4 managed to scream before even more of his power was sucked out, and he paused out.

-Rainbow mercs Lance Red, the Parasite-

behind the shop, Paula found the bodies of Miss Valuetimes and miss Christmas bloody and looking broken on the ground, standing over them was a man in a black tux, no hair but a well kept goatee, holding a bloody sword, and anther man in pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt.
"she's thinking about calling for help." the man with the sword said.
"My darling, that would be a most foolish move, and i suggest you give up." The man in blue said.
"Or else I'll smash yer fecking face in!" He screamed, going from calm and quite to swearing and screaming.

-Rainbow mercs Gary Blue-the Beserker-
-Rainbow mercs Gerard Black- Mindwipe-

"Did you hear screaming?" Mr.5 asked, and turned his attention away from the young lady.
that proved to be a mistake as she turned herself to stone, and bashed the back of his neck, knocking him out in one blow.
"Loser." she sniffed.

-Rainbow mercs Sarah Brown- Rockette

Miss golden week gasped as she saw this, and went to grab her paint to help her friends, but it was gone, in the hands of the fat man.
"Sorry lil lady, we know all about you.." he said, then turned into five men.
"Boys, two of you take the paint away from here and dump it, the rest of us will clean up here...hurray up so we can party!"
"You da man Ryan!" The clones shouted.
"Like i need you're help with a little girl."the green hair man snarled, before transforming in a Lizard man.
"mmm, feel that sun!" He hissed and then with little effort KO'ed her.

-Rainbow mercs Ryan yellow-One man army-
-Rainbow mercs Ron Green-The Lizard King-

"the little lady decided to give up." Gerard said, looking bored as he led Paula around.
"Just like I knew she would...sigh..."
"Only you could get bored of this." Ryan said and chuckled. "here, have a drink!"
"ugh, i hate this place...it's totally missing up my hair!" Sarah whined, back in human form.
"Why not go back into stone then?" Suggested Gary.
"And look horrible? no thanks!'
"It was but a suggestion...SO DON'T FECKING SNAP!"
"you really have to work on that spilt personally thing.." Ron grumbled, laying out. "as for me, after that lost horrible fight on a winter island..." He shivered.
"you guys know I'm cold blooded when I transform!"
"Has anyone heard from Lance?" Gary asked, back to being polite.
"He's on his way here, with the fat ass, we'll have time to call in the navy. sigh." Gerard muttered.
"...that mind reading thing is really making you sour! have a drink!" Ryan said again and spilt into more clone, so that they could do the dirty work.
"Secure the prisoners boys, the bounty's on their heads will get us lots of party money!"

"As you can see, their ready to go after bigger targets." John said, sitting back, talking into the snail phone.
"I'm not so sure about that." Came the voice on the other end.
"Why not? these were wanted bandits, that the navy let get away more than once. we took them down with ease."
"you took down the lightweights. the big guns are still in jail." Came the voice again.
"I see.." John's voice turned frosty.
"And what would it take for you to change your mind?"
"If you wish to become our official go to Merc team...I have a rather large target for you to prove yourselves with..."

It was anther hot and sticky day, And Nami sighed as she lay on the deck of the thousand sunny, trying to get a tan on her lawn chair in only a itsy bitsy bikini and a tall glass of ice tea.
"For the last time, stop adding on stuff without telling me!" Franky yelled, then bonked both Luffy and Usopp.
"But Luffy said to.."
"And Gas cannons would be awesome!" Luffy added.
"If we lit the gas, it would blow up the cannons and part of the ship!"
"...But it would look cool.." Luffy said thoughtfully.
"You put any more weapons on here without clearing it with me first and I'll use you for bait." Franky said to Usopp, then stormed off.
"Trouble in paradise?" Nami asked a Franky stormed by.
"Idiots, they're all idiots.." He huffed.
"Ignore them Nami, I've prepared a very lovely little snack for you." Sanji said, little hearts in his eyes.
He carried over a tray filled with slices of fruit and a fresh glass of Ice tea, picking up the old glass.
"Thank you Sanji." She said with a wink, then picked up a slice of apple and slowly teased it over her lips, watching the poor guy squirm.
"I...I think i need to go do something." he said in a squeaky voice, and ran off.
"Do you ever get tired of doing that to him?" Nico Robin asked, walking up and stealing a slice of orange.
"Hell no. Sides, I think he liked it." she chuckled then picked up anther slice and sniffed it.
"what the heck is this?" She asked, then shrugged and opened er mouth.
"Wait, I know that smell...Nami don't!" Nico started to say, then Nami popped the fruit in her mouth and swallowed.
"Eat it.." Nico finished too late.
"Ewww! that tasted like crap!" Nami said, making a face and sticking out her togue.
"That's because it's a devil fruit." Nico said with a sweat drop.
"What?' Nami asked looking horrified, then tried to make herself puke by sticking her finger down her throat.
"That won't cannel it out." Nico said.
"But I dun wanna be a lead weight, I like being able to swim!" She whined, then feel all funny.
"Oooo.." She groaned.
"Looks like you're fruit is kicking in." Nico commented.
"If i end up being a weird lizard monster, I'm gonna."
Nami trailed off, as she heard a pop.
Looking down, she saw that her once sleek and sexy outfit was now a childish looking pink swim suit, all one piece with a heart on the front, and a frilly skirt around the waist.
"Oh.My.God." Nami gasped, as she also noticed, that her around her nether regions, she seemed...Puffy.
"Are..are you wearing, a diaper?" Nico asked, a hand going to cover her mouth, as a cute little bow popped into Nami's hair.
"Sanji you son of a-"
What ever she was going to say was cut off, as a large pacifier popped into her mouth.
To her shame, she found herself suckling on it, and stormed off, a picture of humiliating cuteness, planing on putting her now pink bootie covered foot up a certain cooks ass.
"Oh my." Nico said.
"...Either I just saw a Nami in baby gear storm pass me, or I need to cut back on the booze." Zoro said, walking up to Nico and looking rather confused.
"Turns out...that there really is a puff puff fruit." Nico said, then broke out laughing.

The first hint that things weren't right, was the pacifier hitting the back of his head.
turning around, Sanji's jaw dropped as he stared at Nami, who whipped out her storm staff.
"Kiss you're best friends goodbye, and i don't mean the rest of the crew!" She snarled.
Even as she dashed...well waddled over, her staff make a popping sound, and she was holding two rattles.
this stopped her in her tracks, and she stared at them, and then looked up at him, all teary eyed.
"This is all -your- fault!' she wailed, before flopping onto her puffy bottom, starting to cry as her outfit made a popping noise, and she was in a purple sleeper, mitts and footies included and still a large puff around her hips.
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

It was a wild party.
In one part of the bar, Ron was trying, and failing badly to out drink Ryan, in a contest where powers were allowed.
True most people were freaked out by the giant lizard man taking on clone after clone, a pile of passed out Ryan's right to the table.
"Y-Your fecking -hic- cheating!"
"No way little man, I'm just winning in style!" Ryan roared as clones waiting to take on Ron all laughed.
"Who da man boys?"
"YOU DA MAN!"
Elsewhere in the bar, Gary chuckled a little then sipped more of the rum.
"Are you sure I can't convince you to have a drink?" he asked Gerard.
"Yes. Booze clouds my mind and there for my gift." Gerard said with a sigh, then finished his water.
"You're lost. If it wasn't for this stuffs calming effects on me, I'd have gone full berserker years ago!" Gary said, waving his hand for anther drink.
"I wanna see some Money before i pour out any more booze." The bar keep said, then made a funny face and collapsed to the floor, Lance holding onto him.
"Really Lance?" sighed Sarah, looking over from her table, playing poker with a few copies of Ryan, and cleaning them out.
"What, I was feeling a little peckish." he chuckled, leaving the drained body of the bar keep on the floor.
"And I didn't kill him.You, I'm sure a little peckish, but If somebody started serving drinks again, I think I could hold off."
Lance was looking at the other Barkeep who nodded, eyes wide and started pouring like his life depended on it.
"Does it bug you that you're a glorified Leech?" Gerard asked, a look of distaste on his face.
"Does it bug you to have that huge stick up you're ass?" Lance shot back.
"Boys, as the only one not driven by a cock, May i suggest you break it up. Do you really wanna be fighting when John gets here?" Sarah asked.
"...Nice time." Lance promised, then sat at the table with Sarah.
"Care for a game of stripe poker?" he asked, winking.
"For the love of god say no, I don't need to see his pale ass." Gary pleaded, getting everyone to start laughing, even Lance.
"Alright ladies, fun times over."
A collective groan was heard, as Ryan clones all over slipped back into the original Ryan.
"Are you sure you don't wanna party?" Ryan hicked, them threw up, all of the booze in the clones being brought into him.
"One of these days he's gonna kill himself that way.." Mutter Ron,. before shifting back to human, and joining in the puking.
"Delightful." John said with a sigh.
In the blink of a eye, he had all of them sitting at the same table, Ron and yellow propped up on each other.
"Holy crap, how many times do I gotta tell you NOT to do that?!" Yelped Gary.

-Rainbow Mercs John White, White lighting-

"Suck it up Princess, we've got a new mission, and if we get these guys, we replace CP9." John said with a grin,
that knocked some sense into those who weren't wasted.
"How much do you guys know about the Straw Hats?"