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Reviews for Sinners: Arc 2

By : Stormborn Apostle

From ANON - jpsike411 on February 07, 2010
This weekend is awesome. I got to meet the Nostalgia Critic yesterday and he signed a picture I drew of him and when I got back home, I found one of my favorite stories had been updated, and you responded to my questions and opinions too! Now don't worry, there is nothing I don't like about this chapter haha. But i do love the attention to kiako and his former self and your challenge of writing about him certainly does not show here. Honestly the insight to both present and past versions is wonderful and, to me, you have fully established a character that i can't hate, a little closer to pity, for the things he's done, but don't want him to win. And I love him having to fight for his life so soon after coming so close to loosing it in the last battle. No rest for the weary is always a good way to go. This was definitely worth the wait and thanks for responding.
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From the42jabberwocky on February 07, 2010
Can't think of any frank criticisms, nor any other kind of criticism. Although I will say things are getting interesting, and I hope to see development of kaiko continue, as I find him...interesting. God to see you continuing after all this time, a fun read I must say.
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From Bishonen on February 07, 2010
I�m going to list all the things I thought about this new chapter.

1. I�m so happy that you finally updated.

2.It was fucking great so much back story reviled can�t help but wonder what awaits Kaiko in the future.

3. I knew that the shadow would be either Giratina or Darkrai I�m glad to finally have which one confirmed.

4. The other day I watched Planet Hulk and The evil Dead and I couldn�t help but think of Sinners the whole thing of corruption that happens in both of them and the scene where that one town gets firebombed made me think of what happened to Fallarbor.

I could say more but I�m sure that everyone else will say a lot of the same things so looking forward to the next update which I hope won�t be to long off.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae

P.S. I read just recently that their make gen 5 of pokemon so far they�ve only shown the outline of one of the new pokemon.
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From Stormborn Apostle on February 06, 2010
jpspike411---I'd say Slash's physical persistence is more realistic than a lot of fiction, but yes, in real life, most people would be passing out from being impaled through the shoulder, let alone being shot and whipped to tatters. I'll just go ahead and say "the Dark Core did it", but even with the Pokemon world's medical capabilities, he won't be fully recovered even after the month-long timeskip coming up. As for amputation or full loss of function...there's no guarantee against it, but I'd rather not do it so early to a main protagonist. Not...this early.

I didn't want Torkoal to die. But indeed, it seemed necessary. I like the idea that there are characters whose lives only briefly intersect with the main cast, and Torkoal is such a character...someone with more time than I have could probably write a whole story about Torkoal's long life and all the adventures he had before this point.

Rayquaza is one of my favorite Pokemon, and he never seemed to get enough love in the anime or movies...he'll be around for some time in Sinners.

Writing Kiako is a bit challenging for me...I'm trying to make an antagonist that's definitely uncheerable, but at the same time isn't a cliched "bwahaha I shall steal these forty cakes because I am terrible" deal. A good antagonist, in my view, should not necessarily be sympathetic, but rather understandable, and as more is revealed about him and his goals (such as in the chapter I'm about to upload), he'll hopefully become more understandable without being seen as purely heartless or someone that readers want to cheer for.

I understand your point, although I hope that you'll be a bit more satisfied when you see the long-term repercussions of the Cataclysm on all the characters. However, I wouldn't want Rayquaza to be outright wrong on whether or not Psymakio could handle taking in his power, because he's a god, and despite surviving against Kiako (and little else, as they were defeated even with the power boosts and the enemies being worn out), Slash and his pack are nowhere near that level of strength. I guess I gotta say that this also falls under "too early to let them die" territory, because while Sinners has been going for nearly three years now, it's still, in relative terms, the beginning of their quest. Hopefully some good will come out of this point, though, because it might be pretty shocking when the main characters DO start dying as the story progresses...

Though Katarina is not a main character in Sinners, I intend on following up on her, both with her recovery and her future. One of the (many) plotlines I changed during my many-month inactivity was what would happen with her...I think that the newer plan (which will show up in a few chapters) will be a happier fate for her.

Well, at the very end, the sky was clear, lol. Although yes, one can rarely have too much imagery (though I might occasionally go overboard...). It wasn't any sort of intentional callback, just an optimistic ending to a very harsh experience. Now, the later chapters will be somewhat sobering...after getting their asses kicked and realizing just how weak they are compared to their enemies, everybody's struggling to get back to peak condition, and training to match their opponents...

SF---Glad you liked it.

Satoku---Hm, lose the facial hair and make the eyes red, and yeah, that'd capture Kiako pretty well, heh.

This...---Glad you liked it, heh. Even with the copyright stuff aside, and the fact that Pokemon's primarily marketed to kids (to its detriment), I don't think it'd make for a very good real book. I'm a very stubborn person, for one thing, so I wouldn't give the faintest shit about marketing concerns...I update horribly, as I get very easily sidetracked...yeah, I'd drive publishers crazy, lol.

Hallation---Well, it's only the climax of the arc, not the story, lol. It's also the first time Slash and Kiako have ever come to real blows, and "the reunion of the trinity" is more of the focus than "the Pokemon kick the crap out of each other until Kiako pulls a gun and the dragon wakes up".

Dillon---Thank ya.

dave---I'm much more comfortable with environmental stuff than dialogue, lol.

Nick---Glad you liked it. Sure as hell was strenuous enough writing it...

shadowslash657---The story will get a lot darker as it goes on, namely because the quest is only just now starting and there's a lot of darkness on the horizon. Yep.

Hallation---Bleh, link's dead. But yeah, for something to be capable of "moving continents" (even if that's not in Sinners), it'd have to be pretty big.

Bowmaster188---RIGHT NOW

...I say, months after you asked that. :'(

Ah, Koko, she was a fine dog. I still find myself looking to the couch and expecting her to be laying there.

the42jabberwocky---Glad you like the battles, heh. I better get good at them, because a lot more will occur in the future.

Mors Mortis---Well, since I began writing Janus (I really need to get to work on that, too...), it's not much a secret that Mewtwo will be playing a major role in Sinners eventually. I can't wait to actually get to that part...

Imasuky Lomae---That's pretty creepy right there. The Shadow gets some introduction in the chapter I'm about to upload, and indeed, it's pretty ominous and apocalyptic.

the42jabberwocky---Well by now you know what's going on, so I won't say anything to spoil it to the others. The identity of the Shadow is finally confirmed in this next chapter, though.

Hallation---Arc 2 will be ending with chapter 32, I've decided. So yeah, it'll be done pretty soon. A large amount of my planning has been tinkered with these past few months, and the Arc breakdown is just one of them.

Zaphrix---Haha, my IRL name is Jason...

The Black Thirteen will get its official introduction in chapter 31; some of them will only be identified and little else, whereas a few of the others will be focused on almost immediately. Slash won't end up fighting all of them, but all of the Black Thirteen play some major role in the story nonetheless. And yes, Giovanni may know more than he's let on...the next chapter will have that idea all but confirmed for Kiako.

Flannery would have been annihilated if it wasn't for Torkoal, who is (was...) far more powerful than Magcargo or Blaziken. Blaziken took out one enemy with Overheat, but Weezing was about to kill him (and only took modest damage in the process of beating him down). Magcargo couldn't match any of her opponents, either, and only killed Ariados by catching him off guard. Gym Leaders are generally weaker than the Black Thirteen, but battles hinge upon more than just power levels, so surprise victories can occur. In any case, I wouldn't want her to die so quickly, and if she hadn't been there, Slash and Psymakio would have been killed, along with Rayquaza, and the story would end with the world being obliterated, so yeah, don't want that, lol.

Hallation---A little of all three. Surprise factors, my lack of respect for deadlines, and primarily my tendency to spout out deadlines when I know damn well that I have no clue when I'll be done. I really need to stop pretending that I know...

Vyers---Not sure that it will, since it's short and largely dialogue/backstory/important shit that's not super-exciting, but I'm back in writing-mode now, at least.

Imasuky Lomae---This is wise. Incidentally, my favorite fanfiction was recently updated for the first time in TWO YEARS, so I know what y'all feel like, lol. I promise that I'll never go THAT long between updates.

...yeah, I promise.

...unless, like, lightning hits me or something.

Uploading new chapter now...
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From Bishonen on February 02, 2010
I take whatever deadline Slash gives and add around a three to four weeks to it.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
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From ANON - Hallation on February 01, 2010
>"I am officially working on the next chapter, though. It will be out this month."

I wonder if he just lies, something honestly obstructs him, or if he just forgets what the word 'deadline' means.
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From ANON - Zaphrix on January 03, 2010
My review for arc i feel covers most of arc two, except i'd have to find a way to work "Epic" into each sentence twice at the very least,
You worked legend and folklore into the story in the most beautiful of fashions, and it was absoluteley enthralling. The way you transformed everything into a legend reminiscient of a child's bedtime story, except a thousand times more serious and enthralling:it was purely amazing. If it weren't for copyright laws etc, i would completely suggest selling this story on the common market. Hell, maybe you could sell it to nintendo and they could start making adult pokemon fiction, instead of it being restricted to sites filled with sex-mad 13-year-olds named jason. And of course, I have to throw a couple of compliments at Rocketto Dan. Beautiful. Amazing. Pure evil to teh point of no return. Their projects to recreate old weaopoms get a thumbs-up. Their Black Thirteen:Thumbs up. The fact that Giovanni may know everything that Slash is telling Kiako about The Shadow:even better, Giovanni you cunning creature of the night.
The only thing I could POSSIBLY say negatively about this story is thatt i think it is bogus that Sai's pokemon were defeated by a noob gym leader's pokes. I think it would've brought incredible plot turns to the story if all of flannery's pokemon died but she managed to get away somehow. That would probably have to require the assisytance of another individual coming, or slash's team would probably get the floor absolutely wiped with them.
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From ANON - Hallation on December 30, 2009
Looks like Act 2's not getting finished this year, then.
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From ANON - Luminous dark on December 15, 2009
i must say this story is getting good ,I mean its been good its just getting better . As for the greatest one its gotta be arceus , for without him there is nothing hes created almost everthing in the world of pokemon , and is the most poweful of all of them . Giritina as the shadow makes alot of sense , but we will have to see what slash cooks up afterall
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From the42jabberwocky on November 04, 2009
Finally, I have caught up with everyone! YAY!I'm probably the most naive and innocent person on this site to ask this, but I hope that the next chapter doesn't involve the two mains humping like bunnies with Viagra in their carrots. I would really enjoy it more if there was more character development, plus a rematch with the Master of Thunder after our heroes are healed. If you do decide on some reward and stress relif sex, that is perfectly understandable, but I'm probably being all antsy for no reason, you are not stupid, and all the chapters since the desert have had no sexual interaction. I know this is an erotic fiction site, but I really like how when you go there, or give hints of how it went there, it is more about playing off the emotions of your heart, not your groin. And unlike a couple reviewers, I will not give you the update or die shortness, I'll give you my steadfast patients for the next chapters arrival. You can't rush this kind of thing. Please keep up the good work, as I have been without sleep sense I started reading the Sinners story line. Chapter 13 alone took about 2 days to read, but it was soooooooo worth it. Untill the next chapter comes out, I'll catch you later.
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From the42jabberwocky on November 03, 2009
reading chapter 10 at almost 1 in the morning, was probably not the smartest idea, scared the shit out of me, but I don't care! Must move on!
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From the42jabberwocky on November 02, 2009
chapter 8, I have reached the end of chapter 8 and I am scared to read any more, this is so dark and tragic, but so brilliantly written. I have charged myself with getting to where you have currently ceased writing, I must know what happens. The sex and eroticism has now taken second place in my mind, I must read the story, and see what happens. It has gotten to the point where I skip any sex to get to story, I am afraid for the pair, I really am. I want a happy ending so bad, but I know now that might be like cheating death, or cheating the readers. I see hope for one, but that seems to be what your story is about, hope. Please continue to write, as I am now tied to these characters, and need to see what happens to them. Good luck! Catch you later!
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From the42jabberwocky on November 02, 2009
You sir, are evil! Evil, evil, evil! In a good way. Before I start slinging names at how Slash is an idiot (oops, too late!), I figured I'd tell you about some thoughts I had. The Shadows actions, seem very VERY similar to the actions of Giratina in ancient times. Could it be that this whole Stor takes place before team galactic? Before Arceus came and sealed Giratina itself for it's actions? Giratina is capable of the things that the Shadow is capable off, and as it's a ghost, it could posses people. Jarachi wouldn't stand a chance against it either when it was at full power. I could be wrong, but usually demons are human representations of real creatures, and I think that the Origin Form of Giratina looks pretty demonic. But that made me think...what of Palkia and Dialga, they are surely more powerful than Rayquaza, Groudon, and Kryogre. Beings of Spacial and Temporal control. If they showed up, the world would certainly be in a pickle now wouldn't it?
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From Bishonen on November 02, 2009
when i watched this vid it made me think of the shadow just pure evil.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOQOSBoBh3E&feature=sub

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
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From ANON - Mors Mortis on November 01, 2009
Slash was right about one thing, if there is a single thing wrong with the world it is people like the Jirachi worshippers, people too blinded by petty reasonless hate to open their eyes and actually see. I honestly wouldn't have been able to stop myself from verbally ripping the religion apart in those circumstances and then damn the consequences.
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