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Reviews for Redeemer

By : CocoaCoveredGods
  • From Nardaviel on March 25, 2009
    I'm working my way through this fic -- it's longgg. XD I just finished chapter 27, or chapter 26 not counting the prologue. It's a HORRIBLE AWFUL place to leave off, but I'm exhausted.

    This is... an amazing fic so far. The plot is cerebral and interesting, the OCs don't inspire vicious hatred (--well okay, Bella does, but not because she's poorly written), the sex is ridiculously hot, and the characterization is... utterly brilliant. It floors me on a regular basis. You write the canon characters with more life and complexity than I've seen authors of published books give their characters, and you keep them very much in-character, and... I really have sat there gaping at my monitor on more than one occasion because of some particularly brilliant insight or twist or portrayal of a character. ...I could go on for a while longer, but I won't. You get the idea, I'm sure XD

    I've noticed that sometimes you sometimes have [adjective adjective, noun] instead of [adjective, adjective noun] when describing things -- it doesn't OMG RUIN THE SCENE but it's the teeniest bit off-putting, at least to me. And very, very occasionally, someone's dialogue will sound a little unnatural, like it belongs in the prose.

    I know a lot of people like constructive crit, so I'm trying to come up with some... but it's difficult with such a brilliant piece. DX I certainly can't come up with anything of real significance, except maybe that the story seems to drag just a bit in places, but there's nothing that stands out as actually unnecessary, and I think it's probably more because of the fact that the fic deals with a complex plot and an equally complex group of people who have complex relationships with each other. A faster pace would probably require leaving some of the intricacies out, and part of why I'm enjoying this so much is the depth and detail you go into, so -- um, I guess basically what I'm saying is that "it drags in places" isn't really that huge of a deal either. I can't find anything to whine about D=

    ...if and when I catch up, I'll review again, with moar specific critique (if by "critique" one means "starry-eyed worship" -- and I do). It seems a little premature to do so now. o_o
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  • From SakuraCa on March 21, 2009
    Wow, I just started reading this story yesterday and while I usually don't like reading stories where romance and the pairing is a major part of the plot, I enjoyed this story, I enjoyed this immensely. (In fact, the sole reason why I created this accont was to review this fic) With every chapter full of plot development, entertainment and simple win - if it continues this way - this story will probably become my favorite Death Note fanfic. I think it is already one of my top 3 favorites, just below The Prince and Revivius (haha, a lot of pressure on you now).

    I can't believe that I'm saying this but the relationship between Mello and Raito is simply beautiful. I was a little disappointed that Mello was certain that he didn't love Raito - but I realised, this is Kira and there is still plenty of time. (hopefully) Sometimes I feel for Matt, but well... maybe I'm just a cold hearted bastard, but I'm rooting for Raito.

    Near... Near has become a (wonderful) evil little brat. Haha, I'm sure that he will cause L and co a lot of headache in coming chapters. Of course having written that... Raito (and awesome Ryuk) is the one that is causing most of the problems, yet one can't help but like him.

    As far as I can see, the grammar is impeccable. The flow of the story is great, and every scene seems to have a importance.

    Well great story and I think this has the potential to become The best written DN drama fic.
    SakuraCa

    Btw. WTF was that cliffhanger? That was evil... lol
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  • From mayablackwolf on March 16, 2009
    Hiya wow you guys are writing fanfiction, that's so cool! I love your photoshots and I just know I'm going to love your stories too! prologe was good. I liked how L acted towards the dieing Light. Even when he wanted to feel hate and stuff he just couldn't. XD great begining. will go on to read the rest of it now. just wanted to say you all are awsome!
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