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Reviews for Redeemer

By : CocoaCoveredGods

From ANON - *** on June 16, 2013
Words cannot truly express how I feel at this very moment, and to be honest, I'm not exactly sure I can accurately express (as hard as i may try) just how I feel.

The only things I can say is that the 10 days It has taken me to read this story has my mind reeling over more things than I care to think of at this moment. The only thing I can say is that the 10 days it has taken me to read this story have been absolutely, and with out a doubt, completely worth it.

This is without a doubt the best fanfiction I have ever read, and quite possibly the best story I have read period (rather a real novel of a fan-made continuation of some existing work).

Thank you. Thank you for sharing this beautifully constructed piece and allowing fans like myself the chance to read it.

Thank you.
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From youremyqueen on June 24, 2012
WHAT THE ACTUAL - WHAT - WHO - HOW?

This is fantastic. Like, fantastic. Like, my brain is not actually functioning right now because that is how fantastic this is. I - I don't even have words. This is certainly one of the best pieces of fanfiction I've read in this fandom - maybe even in any fandom. Although the prose is rather unpolished - something I can look past, because this is fanfiction - the plotting, characterization, and narrative arcs are on the level that I tend to expect from actual, published fiction.

Although DN canon is stunning from a psychological and plot-driven perspective, it lacks the character exploration and development that I tend to like in this fiction, and in that respect, I certainly prefer Redeemer. If I truly get into it, this review is going to go on for about a million, billion years and end up looking more like an essay, so I'll save the bulk of my thoughts for when I've finished the several (!) sequels, but I'll just give a brief overview of my feelings here�

I can honestly say I love all the characters. Their portrayals are both similar and different from how they are in canon, and the ones that don't appear in canon are all wonderfully engaging as well. As for specific thoughts:

Light - I have to preface with the fact that, although I love L/Light and find Light to be a fascinating, well-done character in canon, I've never before actually liked him. Like, on his own, without anyone around, just as a person in and of himself, I've always found him either off-putting or obnoxious or a combination of both. And as Redeemer went on, I went from finding him annoying, to finding his antics sort of amusing, to finding him almost vaguely endearing, to being terribly, monumentally impressed by him by the end. And I think this is the most striking thing about the story, and it took me a while to really figure it out, to figure out how this was going to go and what his character arc really was, and finally in the last few chapters - it him me.

The story is called Redeemer, and obviously I knew it would involve redemption, but in my experience with DN fanfic, that usually amounts to changing Light's character around a lot - and L's, too - to make him even slightly redeemable. And when, in the prologue, L more or less picked Light up off the warehouse floor in what seemed like a rather cliche yaoi story opener, that was all I was really expecting. But this story does so, so much more than that.

Because you didn't change Light's characterization, or his ideals, or his opinions, or his arrogance, or much about him at all, except for one thing. You made him care about someone (two someones, actually) besides himself. The dangerous thing about Light has never been the death note, or his crazy ideals, or his ability to plot flawlessly - it's that fact that he just doesn't care about other people. He claims that he wants to save that world, and all the good people in it, but from his thoughts, he seems to see everyone who is not himself as either stupid or evil. It's classic sociopathy, it's frightening and it's desolate (like his dream about that empty, grey world with no one but he and L in it, and that was striking, by the way, and definitely the right way to do fictional dream sequences, as it was neither melodramatic nor overly complex, - but I digress.)

But, of course, L - as most people trying to write L/Light romance can point out - is the outlier, the one that can become more than that, that can become the fissure, the flaw in the plan. I think what differentiates this story from other stories of the same kind (other than the fantastic length, amazingly charming dialogue, awesome action sequences, etc., etc.) is that L is actually not enough. Because if it's just he and L, then they can survive in their own little bubble, playing cat-and-mouse and forgetting the rest of the world. Which is where Mello comes in, because Mello is different from L is so many ways, he is human, he is emotional and volatile and he can burst the bubble and say, "hey! there is more to the world than just you and L! there's me!" And that, that is enough. The combination of the two, of L and Mello, is enough to tip the scale and make Light care enough about them to set aside his grand ambition.

"Let it go," L says, and the entire story rests upon that moment, and it is beautiful. From Light littering the floor with bodies in something that - despite my eyerolls at Light's purported divinity - is powerful enough to actually become divine in it's ruinous triumph, to the next chapter - the shortest one in the story, I believe - that operates on a completely different level, and one that is even more powerful. I cried my way through that scene, and the epilogue, and I am unashamed of that. Those scenes, like much of this story, were brilliant.

Okay� wow, that part was not brief. I'll try to keep the keep the other parts shorter, I promise.

L - Admittedly, L is my favorite in canon and it is not hard to get me to like him, but I truly think this is a whole different level. He is like he is in DN, and he is not. He is much the same, and very different. But it does not feel OOC at all, in fact, you weave the threads of characterization so well that it feels not like a change of character, but rather like an expansion. As if the L we see in DN canon is actually a small glimpse at a much bigger, more complicated person. The gunfights, the torture withstanding (and omg, can you guys do torture sequences or what? I literally squirmed and winced my way through the foot cutting scene. Mentions of blood don't really bother me, but as soon as the word 'tendon' comes into play, my stomach does flips. eeek.) and Denueve? It's all fantastic. Plus, his past. I'm assuming from the descriptions of the later stories that you're going to go into both the Beyond Birthday stuff and the stuff with his father. I am seriously flailing with excitement at the moment.

Because seriously, the B stuff in the villa was frightening as hell. Of everything in the story, that's what freaked the ever-loving fuck out of me the most. Even though I knew it was Misa. (I think it was all Misa? It was all Misa, right? RIGHT? asdfgkl;!) I'm not overly fond of the horror genre in and of itself, but I do love some horror mixed in with my drama, so I'm def looking forward to more of that.

And seriously, L/Mello? It literally taps into one of my favorite types of dynamics, which is mixing platonic love with the sexual, because it creates the kind of relationship that is completely different from a romantic one, but equally as beautiful. The fact that you went there raises my respect for you as writers to new heights (as if it wasn't already through the roof, which it is.) And I think that's another great thing about this story, because you avoided, pointedly and maybe purposefully, a mistake that a lot of DN fic writers make when trying to write stories where L/Light and Matt/Mello work together, and that it is to actually make them L/Light and Matt/Mello, to section them off into neat little exclusive pairings. You give us Mello/Light, Mello/L and L/Linda, which are all awesome, and open up a lot of new doors for different personal and group dynamics.

Plus, even the non-sexual relationships are interesting. Light/Matt? I love their scenes and, for many parts of the story, Matt felt like such a mascot for everything I was feeling in regards to Light. Like, OMG LIGHT SHUT-UP ALREADY. And Linda/Matt friendship? Adorbs. Matt/L? I love the Matt/L scenes, especially near the end, when they're talking about Matt's drug habit. It's such a different dynamic than L has with Mello, but so awkwardly endearing nonetheless.

� Okay, so I kinda got off the L-track there. I AM SORRY I AM SO BAD AT REVIEWS.

Ahem.

Mello and Matt - (yes, they are a packaged deal.)

Mello is another of my favorites from DN-canon, and you have basically taken everything that I like about him and compounded it times, like, a million - while adding on new and different facets that I never expected from him. Although he's the most blatantly emotional character, there are also levels of stark sobriety here that fit in perfectly and feel so natural and true to character. And his religion, asdfghjkl;! Beautiful and fascinating, all the blood on his hands, the blood on his cross. Him crying in the church. Wow.

Matt, on the other hand, who I have gotten used to seeing in fic and have never had any outright problem with, obviously was never important for me in DN canon because, duh, he's there for like two minutes. Despite that, I've gotten to like the Matt/Mello pairing alright from my time in fandom, just because it occasionally shows up in the background of L/Light fics, but I've never had any desire to seek it out specifically. WELL, THERE GOES THAT. You have sold me. I am sold. Matt is my spirit animal, omg. He feels so much like a person, so much like an actual human being that you could meet and hang out with and such - I suppose because his personality is more or less fan-created, but wow.

I think the initial hook-point for Matt was one of his first (?) scenes with Light, where Light keeps challenging him and Matt just kind of lets it roll off, because, smart as hell or not, he really wants nothing to do with that bullshit. Just because he doesn't rub his intelligence in everyone's face like an asshat, doesn't mean he's not intelligent, and that's such a contrast to Light, who is all about shoving his intellect at people because he is a jerk like that. And the drug use, having his own personal demons that he also keeps to himself without making a big show of them, is just another nail in my Matt-loving coffin.

And the level of trust, of emotional equality, of actual friendship that shows in the Matt/Mello relationship is strikingly different from L/Light or Mello/Light, but powerful and beautiful in it's own way.

Also, British slang! I love the British slang. It took some getting used to at first, because although I watch enough british television to be familiar with it, I suppose I didn't expect it from these characters. But they are British, so I'm not complaining. I love British slang, anyhow.

Linda - I've skimmed some of the other reviews, and apparently people don't like Linda, and honestly, that's rather expected because of the underlying sexism in fandom in general, but especially in slash fandoms, but OMG, YOU GUYS, I LOVE LINDA. I did not expect to like her this much, if at all, but gosh, she's adorable. I appreciate the fact that she does, indeed, act very much like a young girl. The fact that she doesn't know how to handle a weapon, that she hides when there's trouble, that she has a crush on L - it's all terribly believable, and rather endearing. The idea that female characters need to be tough or badass or cynical - essentially, to be like a man - in order to be considered strong or interesting is ridiculous, and an obnoxious trend that tends to pop up a lot in fiction.

She is a girl, she likes girly things and gets girly crushes and is emotional, and it's certainly gender stereotyping if all your female characters are like this, but judging from Bella and Misa, that is likely not going to be the case. And I hope you guys do write more female characters, because your characterizations in general are all excellent and engaging, and I'd love to see a wider range of women.

And I honestly really enjoy Linda/L. Shipping main characters with OCs (which Linda essentially is, because everything besides her name and her interest in drawing came from you guys, didn't it?) is usually a dangerous thing to do, but your character and relationship building skills are good enough that it does not feel forced or un-genuine, in fact, it feels rather natural, and the idea of an L who sleeps around all the time should conflict with the idea I have of him, but you've arranged it so that it feels quite believable for his character. And the hugs! The fact that Linda always hugs everybody is awesome!

Dr. Gregory - "Dr. Gregory had already berated them both with a grating lecture on how they were incredibly stupid for a pair of geniuses, and that Light was 20 steps ahead the victor because he�d tricked them all into letting him live this long�and that essentially, L needed to �pull his head out of his arse long enough to see that,� to which L vaguely responded, that his head wasn�t in his arse, but it was feeling rather bad all the same."

I LOVE DR. GREGORY. I JUST DO. He is not a Watari replacement exactly, but I do think L needs someone to keep him in line, somewhat, and Dr. Gregory is awesome at it. I hope he's in the other stories.

Bella - I appreciate the fact that the villain is a sexy Italian woman. Like, this pleases me greatly. She is kind of ridic and so, sooo Italian, but I especially enjoyed her scenes with L near the end. I also love the fact that, although she is set up as the villain, she is not actually a huge part of the conflict. Light is. Light is his own villain and the overhanging choice that he has to make is really the thing that keeps you on the edge of your seat. The battle with Bella is just for show - the real battle goes on inside. That's one of the best things about the story.

Misa - Misa, you poor, crazy thing, you. In DN canon she is one of the saddest parts, and that really continues here, with an extra layer of out-of-her-fucking-mind thrown on top. God.

Near - Although I'm not overly attached to Near in canon, he's been rather vilified, hasn't he? I mean, I can throw it off and accept that that is just how you're characterizing him, and it works within the confines of the story, but their is a certain amount of dissonance between your Near and canon!Near. I'm interested to see how this will ultimately be dealt with.

Am I missing anybody? I don't think so. Gosh, sorry this is ridiculously, stupidly long and that I did it by character rather than in actual chronological order. How about I end with some of my other favorite bits? Like:

- The fact that there is a chapter called 'Not According to Plan.' Heh.
- Aiber! I hope there is more Aiber to come. Skeezy bastard, indeed.
- The sex. All the sex! Like, whoa, that is some good sex, if I've ever read it.
- Basically everything that goes on in the villa, but especially the ridiculously amusing L/Light stuff, along the lines of, "We were kidnapped by bears."
- Also, this:
�You still haven�t told me about B,� Light said, balancing his food over the soap.
�Not while we�re eating,� L replied.
�I�m going to tie you up and torture it out of you,� Light mumbled back.
�Not while we�re eating,� L replied.
I'm pretty sure I actually cackled at that.
- Mello and his cello. Christ, that was a powerfull scene.
- All the B stuff. All of it! He is creepy and fascinating as fuck and I cannot actually wait to start the next fic.
- The, "omg, L and Linda are fucking, what is actually happening to the world!" scene with Matt, Mello, and Light.
- Denueve, the Mello/L that's involved, and what comes off as very thinly-disguised self-loathing from L when he talks about himself as Deneuve.
- The last Mello/Light sex scene, with the men dying in the background. That was truly horrifying and gorgeous as the same time.
- Everything about the last few chapters, and the epilogue. Most notably: �Redemption?� Mello muttered after a moment. �Dunno. But I�m certain you can see it from here.�

I MEAN, WOW. I HAVE TO SLEEP NOW, BUT WOW. I know I said this would be brief. I guess I totally lied. Sorry! I just want you guys to know how truly, ridiculously marvelous this is. I mean, I'm sure you already know that, but that will not stop me. Just, thank you for bringing this story into existence.
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From SeeSayLeki on January 25, 2012
The personalities of everyone involved is pretty spot on. I love Light's seductive, sleek acts and his bipolar nature, with L's quirky, firm nature and Mello's "I can bring the worst out in anyone" attitude. I will definitely be reading on, and especially hoping for more Light and L.
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From sparrowswing on August 17, 2011
Wow. Where to even begin? This story has been one hell of a wild ride. Words fail... You delve so deeply into the psychology of these characters, making them real in ways I never could have imagined possible. You paint this amazing picture of every moment, every thought and action and scene throughout the story. When watching Death Note for the first time (which sadly did not happen until just last month), I became completely hooked, refusing to sleep until I'd seen it all. This story gave me the exact same feeling (though I can't imagine anyone reading all this in a single sitting, lol). I was constantly on the edge of my seat, desperate to know what would happen next. For all that Death Note pushed the limits with its plots and subplots and twist after twist, this story has done the same to fanfiction.

I laughed , I cried, I screamed in frustration, I... got incredibly turned on. I repeatedly found myself biting my nails and whispering, "No. No. Nonononono..." My heart raced during every intense situation; my breath caught every time a new twist was introduced. I loved how each relationship had its own unique dynamic, relevant to the characteristics of those involved, and how those relationships changed as the characters did. It's a logical progression that so many authors ignore or simply fail to convey. I loved the imagery, especially that of Kira's church, with its apocalyptic tapestries and windows and blood running down from the balconies. I loved the sex, the violence, the combination of the two. I loved when Mello tried leaving to avoid the discussion of kinky sex and was assigned an essay on The Philosophies of the Marquis De Sade and his Contemporary Libertines, lol (literally; my brother kept giving me this strange look as if he was wondering what could possibly be so funny). I loved Mello saying the ending to the Lord's Prayer before shooting (please tell me that's a Boondock Saints reference!). I lvoed the way it was described when Mello was playing the cello; it made me think of Apocalyptica.

I loved/hated the uncertainty that stretched throughout the whole story, the constant thrill of not knowing which side Light would ultimately choose, whether he would betray those that loved him. It kept me at the edge of my seat, desperately reading on, but oh it was so heartrending every time I thought he'd pushed too far. And his execution! Oh, I cried... The torture scenes were hard to read in such detail, but they fit everything else, a starkly realistic representation of this world. So much pain... I hated how I actually jumped and sometimes made that pathetic little squeal that girls do when something startling happened. I don't do that during thirllers or horror movies, but I did while reading this story. (Which also earned some strange looks from my brother.)

It's so strange how I came into this story not even liking Mello, and barely even being aware of Matt, yet now they are my favorite pairing, my favorite characters to read about. You've put these characters into a new perspective for me, one I'd likely never have discovered otherwise. It's as if this story has replaced canon in my mind, and should I ever decide to write Death Note fanfiction, there's a (somewhat sad) possibility that I won't be able to break out of this universe you've created.

And now, onward to the next story...
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From randomness on July 16, 2011
I absolutely LOVE this story from beginning to where I am now and will probably love all the rest save for a few minor annoyances, 1. Linda bleh, and 2. too much british slang, 3. not enough Matt and Mello lovin going on but I look past that and see the perfection of this story. I'm currently on chapter 50 I think, Kitchen Counter and it was awsome, angry Matt and whorish Light fighting is a definite favorite thing to read and you write it so well, bravo this is one of my favorite chapters among many others that I didn't review simply because signing in can be a pain sometimes.
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From Resting-Madness on May 20, 2011

Okay, first I have to say I love you for having L say 'I love you' to Kira while he's in a coma. Because L would only ever say those words to him if he were dead, or something like it which is a coma. Beautifully done. I can't bare the Mello thing, not so well, because to me romping who the hell cares but having feelings just makes me itchy. He comes off as needy and hungry for just about anything and anyone and its creepy. But very realistic because that is Mello. But him and Light kept me from reading this when it first came out, a friend said no no its great, which is why I'm reading it now. Sometimes you can't be stubborn and I'm more than glad I am. l-i-n-d-a still bugs me but I'll let it go. These stories are awesome and thank you for writing them, you make me sick with happiness as a reader and green with envy as a writer ^_~.

p.s. I heard you're watching the killing and getting case ideas for them. I love that you do that because I do to, just haven't gotten around to writing them yet. But that being said, I have a serious request for you two, watch Criminal Minds, they're so Death Note you'll know who is who the moment you finish an episode the L, Light, B, Mello, Matt, Near. Near is Hotch it seems unlikely at first but trust me he is deadpan Near. They have them at youtube to load I believe. I hope you take viewing request, adios.
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From randomness on January 14, 2011
Wow I looooove this story so far. Your characters are dead on, the plot amazing, the action is good the yaoi is so good. A few eh things in your choice of words but I can look past that. The chapter 9, Dinner Date, was by far my favorite, so far. Love the way it was written how it played out everything in that chapter was perfect. Can't wait to read more hope you see the reviews I leave.
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From SParker on January 01, 2011
Okay I am just now finishing this after 2 weeks...and I know I had seen this
story awhile back, but forgotten about it.

Anyway, this was too brilliant...I guess 2 minds do work better
than one as the saying goes, in order to crank out such a heartfelt
story...and may I applaud whomEVER came up with the idea of putting
L in that blasted suit..and Deneuve!

Drool worthy indeed! :-)

I also recognized inspiration from fanart, during earlier chapters
like the hairwashing/bath scene with L & Light. Too funny! :-)

Now, I HAD to get used to the Matt/Light scenes, because I am
L/Light all the way and L & Light's chemistry was endearing and
funny and HOOOT in this!

Anyway, now I have to play catch to the last story, if it is
truly the last one.
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From MafiaPrincess on September 14, 2010
Okay good and bad on this story bad first Linda noooo and then to touch L! nobody touches L it was icky I could of liked her fine but euw. And the british talk was creeping me out nothing against them there talk is fine but on death notes not so much, but looking past all that this story was kick ass one of the best death notes ever THE best death notes ever!!! It tickled my hair and my weiner and that's a good thing.

It was action and comedy and drama and spooky all good movie types all boiled into one super sweet fic I was on the edge of my seat through all of it never knowing what was going to happen the characters were written So so good! It was like my drug addiction when I wasn't reading it I wanted to read it some more and when I was reading it I was thinking about then next time I'd get to read some I love how lengthy it was I loved the plot twosts I loved the love that scene when L was injecting Light I had the saddest song going through and was literally in tears and tears don't come easy to me so bravo it was sad and sweet and beautiful(I reccomend listening to BoA Implode when reading that.) and the thing with the piece of note in him didn't see that coming. All death note writers should watch out for you because this story was it award winning. Best story ever I didn't want it to end I'm sad it is but now it's on to the next one. Speaking of you need to write just an L and Light story their romance in this fic was to cute.
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From sashocirrione on June 30, 2010
A lot of drama in chapter 3. Wow, everyone is crazy.
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From ANON - Anon on June 11, 2010
Chapter 11:
I am almost totally sure that I had already made a review for this chapter, but I didn't continue reading to chapter 12 so I didn't post it back then. Now I don't really know what to say other then that the chapter was awesome. The growing of Light and Mello's relationship, Matt's jealousy, etc. I did notice that regarding typos and such, you have become far more careful on those as time went by.

ugh I wanted to read more chapters, but I'm such a slooow reader, that I'm only gonna post this microscopic review
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From ANON - Anon on April 16, 2010
Chapter 9:
I really love how you write L. His inner conflicts, all his plan of the consequences of the worst scenario. It's very sad in a way, and very real and L-ish. But the fact that he is fully aware that if circumstances were to go wrong, he'd have Light killed and how that made him feel, was really well written.
About how Ryuk's presence would have gotten into Light and begin his paranoia, indeed that wouldn't be so strange. His very appearence is verycreepy as it is, plus his personality is enerving to say the least. Most of the time I think Rem was a much better Shinigami in all senses. Well, not most of the time, always.
Oh, and I felt so slightly inteligent with the Sforza reference. I've read about them on a book once, yay for my not-so-small culture after all.

Chapter 10:
Woo intense stuff. yay
I had been wondering about Bella's physical apperance (random statement, much more interesting aspects to point out than that). L's jealous-lover behavior was amazing. His contradics regarding his antagonism with Light yet his love for him were as good. And of course, brillian plan of Bella, if I hadn't peeked into future chapters and knew it already, this clearly shows how clever and bitchy she is.
Wow, loved Light coming to the scene. SO totally God-like. Gotta love Light really. And Mello's around too, yay the left-behind unite.
"He apparently had a penchant for provoking Kiras�favorite pastime or something." this was absolutely genious. So so awesome.
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From ANON - Anon on April 11, 2010
Chapter 7:
I love how you write Mafia-related stuff. I always love to read such themes, and to see it well written is of course much more better. The whole tension, calculation, etc... well, usual Death Note business.
Light is really devoted, as if we didn't know that already. I really liked all the description of his actions and plan.
And damn I am so slow, it took me a moment to understand what exactly that "Don't be afraid" note meant, but when I did, I re-read the bit of perhaps simple yet awesome part of Kira showing up in full grace. Also, I liked the irony of using Misora as his fake surname and Tsuki as the first.
Also, L's feelings for Light coming in the way of his reasoning show a lot of how their relationship affects him.

Chapter 8:
The bits where L touched Light's chin were so sweet, real tenderness.
Dunno what else to say, loved the intensity of this, despite the fact that they all just sat in a bathroom.
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From agrajagthetesty on March 07, 2010
Chapter 59: Oh Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill me? That� was amazing. *_* Dammit I love Mello and L so much, and you write them so perfectly, and it was so damn gorgeous as well as simply being hot (but all the same it cannot be denied that it is indeed HOT) and� guh. *dies* I really just have a massive thing for fucked-up relationships (so this whole fic is pretty much perfect for me, haha) and I absolutely adore this kind of so-wrong-yet-so-right thing they�ve got going on; it�s completely beautiful, and of course enormously sexy as well. The amount of sensual detail here was really lovely, and the way they keep saying they should stop whilst not making any moves to actually prevent it� unf. Just� unf. And you have successfully turned my brain inside out, because I have no idea how to react to events any more; when Mello first got that suspicion over his �tail�, I got this immediate sinking feeling, although when Light actually appeared I just went �Yay�, but then that was quickly followed by anger and annoyance at them both because it seemed so damn disloyal to the others, even while I was celebrating the pair of them and their incredible chemistry and the way they just, somehow, work. Together. My brain is melting, bah. As for Matt, I really don�t think that it�s going to be possible to patch everything up with him: he�s just too bitter and hurt � and much as I love L and Mello and don�t normally care about Matt, it�s undeniable that they are selfish and that he is suffering. :( The revelation of what Light had done to the mob men was a huge shock, but strangely it didn�t make me have one of my typical over the top reactions� in fact it made me feel kind of numb, because it was indeed a far too clear demonstration of his power � of how he holds all the pieces necessary to do pretty much whatever he likes, and even if he does choose to go with L and the others, how can they possibly ever function?

Chapter 60: I think I�ve realised what the problem is when it comes to me trying to review scenes like this: they just leave nothing else to be said. All of the confusion, all of the passion, all of the pain and conflict and hopelessness and beauty is right here, and I don�t see that there�s anything I can add that would offer any insight because I am simply overwhelmed with the perfection of it � even when the men died right outside � no, especially then, because that just made it all crystallise so terribly� Incoherence is the word of the day, it seems, and yet like I said I�m not sure I would really be able to add much anyway. Perhaps I ought to be thankful for the fact that Bella at last reappeared, since it managed to startle me back into a slightly more reasonable state � although I�m having a little trouble accepting that plus side, I have to say. Somewhere along the line I have become deeply protective of Linda, and as we all know she�s not really used to having to deal with this sort of thing, so from the get-go I was really concerned about her (and the details about Budella certainly didn�t help, you bloody sadists. :P) L�s bluff was, as ever, completely brilliant, although in a situation like this it was frankly not a great comfort � and similarly, while L�s calmness was gratifying it entirely failed to rub off on me. That scene went beyond tension into the realms of I-don�t-even-know-what; suffice to say that it had me gripping my mouse really hard in a futile attempt to get myself to calm down. It says a lot that the gunfight was actually a relief for me. X_X And damn it all, L is completely nuts � but I already knew that � but I�d still say that opening a vein in his own arm is up there on the list of crazy things he�s done, regardless of the fact that it worked. And now I�m left all jittery and anguished again: even though he obviously intended to be captured and has proven himself capable of dealing with torture, that doesn�t stop me from being dreadfully concerned over what Bella might do.

Chapter 61: Since I�m going into this already feeling pretty nauseous with nervousness, I should maybe be thankful for the fact that Bella and her lot don�t hang about, but I�m finding it hard to see it that way. Dammit, I hate being so squeamish, it�s making it really hard for me to concentrate. Just� I hate Bella. I�m well aware of the fact that L isn�t in any real danger, but that doesn�t make it any easier. (I also feel like it�s somehow worse because of the fact that they went for his feet, but something tells me that�s not entirely important.) And the mention of B didn�t help, and that horrible detail about the muscle rolling up into his leg� arghhhh. I think that was the point at which I started flailing my arms around uselessly. D: The taunting, disdainful attitude that L tends to use in these sorts of situations is provoking the usual response in me � that is to say, a mixture of nervous laughter and nail-biting tension. God dammit he does not make things easy for himself. I had a similar reaction when I realised how Mello was planning to handle things, too. Far from subtle, but that�s never been his forte anyway; still, it seems that trying to intimidate is bound to be a bit trickier considering what an advantage the enemy have � or think they have, which amounts to the same thing. I was completely stunned when Mello shot L; it took me a while to realise the cleverness of that move, because my brain was occupying itself with going �WTF?!� really loudly, but once it finally dawned on me I almost wanted to applaud. Two birds with one stone, really. However, as soon as Bella reacted with confusion to the men arriving, I knew that they were being controlled by the notebook � and okay, I was barely nanoseconds ahead in figuring that out, but still. Shhhh. :P And then, not surprisingly, it turned into an enormous bloodbath. It was utterly intense and completely brutal, especially the face-off in the bell tower � more than anything else it got across the total ruthlessness of Light�s goal, and I feel like there must be something wrong with me for enjoying it because it was so twisted and terrible � the inevitability of Bella�s fate, and her helplessness and blindness to it � yes, completely twisted. But like I said, I enjoyed it, so I guess we�re all going to hell. And then Light�s pure unfiltered glee and triumph at the end, and that horrible sinking inevitability in everyone�s responses� good Lord I cannot deal with this, that was far too much and I just started whimpering uselessly.

Chapter 62: There is just� nothing left. Nothing I can possibly say, because again, it�s all right here in front of me and I can�t find anything to add. It was all far too perfect � from Ryuk�s comments to Mello insisting that Light kill them himself (and the way that he struggles to stay angry so that he can do what he has to is utterly heartbreaking) to L�s intervention � and I don�t remember at what point I first got teary-eyed, but it was at that point that it became obvious. And then I just remember feeling stunned, totally and utterly � because I suppose I never really formed a theory about this moment, about what would happen in the end � I hoped for this, but I never really anticipated it and I was far from trusting in it. Even for me here, the moment when he dropped the notebook seemed to last forever. And then the way that L went over at once, despite his own pain, just to comfort him� I�m just� speechless. And teary. Amazing.

Epilogue: Again, it just seems like everything has come together and fallen into place in exactly the right way � even though the mere thought of that ought to seem strange, given all the contradictions and confusions and the open-ended tone � and how even now, after everything, Light is very much on the edge � and yet despite all that I still think that things are how they should be. I absolutely adore L and Light�s collaboration to get Mello out of the mafia � and that ought to be desperately ironic, given the nature of that bail-out and what it means, and yet� somehow, like everything else, it fits. And then the way they just separate, and that unspoken knowledge between all of them, the silent awareness and the meaning behind everything said� I�m sorry, I�m crying manly tears, don�t mind me. ;_; You should know that it means a lot to get this sort of reaction from me: I very rarely get visibly emotional over TV and books and so on, and my feelings towards most of these characters are mixed at best, and I also have this built-in scepticism when it comes to the notion of love in DN fics � but despite all that, here I am. And that really just goes to show what an excellent job you did with this, and how even in the face of the enormous complexity and all the various intertwining threads, it all holds together and runs smoothly and � and it just works.

�Excuse me a minute. ;__;

I almost can�t believe that I�ve actually finished this thing, haha. It was hugely intimidating to start with, yet it seems to have gone so quickly� I will, as you both know, move on to 2B next � although I ought to warn you: I�m going to be busier than normal over the next month or so due to English coursework, so I may not be able to keep up the same pace that I�ve managed with this one. In any case, until the next time � and thank you for having the skill and the passion to write this. Much love.
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From agrajagthetesty on March 05, 2010
Chapter 56: It is utterly unbelievable that L would give Light a tip like that. I�m with Matt on this one: it just seems complete insanity, especially given what happened just a day or so earlier. Sure, I understand how he feels about Light � it�s been made perfectly clear before now, and the story really would not work without that element � but it still gets me. It�s particularly obvious right now, too, since the betrayal (and yes, I�ll continue to think of it as such unless the situation changes significantly) is still so fresh in my mind. As for the scenes that followed� I�m going to be useless here, I should make that perfectly clear from the get go, because HOLY FUCKING SHIT I think I just exploded. X_X As you know, I love Mello and I love L and I love any and all interaction between them and I also ship them so hard � so it was a given that any sexual scenes between them would make me seriously bloody happy. However, it also seems to have given me heatstroke. Need a cold shower now. I don�t know whether I�ll even be able to communicate my feelings about this without getting incoherent, ridiculously fangirly or just far, far too excited� Granted, that wasn�t the extent of my reaction � a part of me facepalmed, because for the love of god Matt and Linda really deserve a break from this kind of thing, and it was pure genius (quite possibly of the evil kind) to have Light listening on the wire as well � but, well� suffice to say that my analytical abilities are not functioning all that well just now, and so I may easily have failed to pick up on something along the line. ._. I will say that all the delicious complications of it only made it that much better � Mello�s anger and suspicion and the issue of dominance and the feeling of it being somehow wrong as well as so good � just guh, hell yes. And the very last section made me completely thrilled, since no matter what results from this, it seems clear that there is a genuine attraction there. Now if you�ll excuse me, I must be off to have a bath in some ice. O_O

Chapter 57: Okay, I have given it a minute, and I think I�ve successfully calmed down enough to continue � although I wouldn�t get your hopes up all that much because my coherence is still severely lacking. I am in love with Mello and L right now. *_* I love how comfortable Mello feels when he wakes up, and how L only sleeps peacefully when he�s with someone else, and the memory of how Mello used to feel about L, and how he helps L after he throws up and how tender they are for that short while, and and and� *flails* I�m sorry, I must try to curb my inner fangirl a little more successfully than this, but it�s pretty difficult right around now. Light�s reaction to what he heard, while admittedly not detailed, has pissed me off quite a lot, because as far I can tell it�s just� hypocritical. To the extreme. And why, if Light thinks L belongs to him, was he totally fine and dandy with the idea of L sleeping with Linda? I mean, I know that helped to distract attention from Light�s plotting and so on, but� still. Well, that�s just my initial impression in any case, and since it was filtered through Misa it�s unlikely to show the whole picture. And sure enough, I can�t let this go by without commenting on it: I simply adore the way Mello has started looking at L and his habits in a completely new light, whilst retaining that tension resulting from the way they totally avoid the subject� it�s fun times for me, let me tell you. :D I also, surprisingly, really enjoyed seeing Mello in the mafia scenario. I�m not sure why; I suppose it was just entertaining and interesting to see him pull those strings and use that influence. It�s such a different situation than he�s been in so far, and like I�ve said before I just like seeing the different sides to the characters, so I think that might be it. The final scene was really enjoyable for that same reason, although it was a little frustrating what with Mello�s (possibly misplaced, although it�s really too early to say) bravado. How he manages to stay so cool in that situation is beyond me; personally, I was biting my fingernails � and I�m hardly in the firing zone over here. :P And it�s simultaneously nice and terrible to see your habit of horrible cliffhangers surface again� Thank god it�s Friday and I can stay up for longer. :D

Chapter 58: First of all I must say how very grateful I am to have Linda around, because she makes me feel less self-conscious about my own tendency to freak out whenever stuff goes down. XD; What with that, and my inability to find very much to say about action sequences, I anticipate that my comments on this section will not be especially insightful� I may or may not have cheered a little when L turned up, and his enigmatic response to Matt (�Close enough�) was one of those simultaneous laugh-and-facepalm moments. I honestly am not sure how to react to this level of bravado, because while I do trust them to take care of themselves, it would seem appropriate to at least show a modicum of concern. I freaking love L�s ninja-like abilities though, although I guess that goes without saying, since ninjas plus L can only ever equal awesome. And I was really not anticipating that Light would help them out like that � simply because it seemed so very unlikely that he would show up. Kind of funny that while it was actually going on, his biggest concern seemed to be getting back to sleep ASAP, though. XD And again, praise be to Linda, since she was pretty much the vehicle for my own squeamishness while L was being stitched up. I�m actually useless with this stuff, haha. The thought of the mob taking out Asian tourists at random is completely repulsive. It isn�t the first time that innocents have been involved in all this, but it seems to be on a greater scale than usual, and now I�m desperately hoping for some decisive action from the relevant parties, because there is a serious shitstorm on the horizon. On a not entirely unrelated note, I was a little disappointed to see some confrontation between Mello and L, but not really surprised: the way I see it, there�s just too much tension and frustration between them at the moment for it not to have happened. Even so they make me flail with happiness, because a) I am completely hopeless in this regard, and b) despite it all, they still do share that fundamental, contradictory attribute that means they can�t help but understand each other�s actions� although, as we all know, when it comes to these two I get slightly� well. _ I found the discussion of the Hamlet quotation very interesting, both of itself and in the context of this discussion as a whole: it really is perfect for this situation, with all the layers of complexity and confusion that are so very rife between L and Light. And, um. Foot sex. Yay indeed, I suppose.

Now, what is this I see here? I do believe that I only have a handful of chapters left to go� and it also happens to be the weekend. Well, fuck me sideways. :O I hesitate to make promises, but I daresay that I just might be able to finish this over the next few days� We shall most certainly see. 8D
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