Will I Bite The Hand?

BY : Natch
Category: Hellsing > AU - Alternate Universe
Dragon prints: 948
Disclaimer: No I do not own hellsing or any of it's characters/plots/places or names nor do I make any money/profit/souls. THIS IS FAN MADE.

.xXx. Will I Bite The Hand .xXx.


.xXx. Fire In The Hole .xXx.

FIRE IN THE HOLE.  @Steely Dan.

I decline

To walk the line

They tell me that I'm lazy

Worldly wise.

I realize

That everybody's crazy

A stranger's voice reminds me,

To serve and not to speak

Am I myself or just another freak?

Don't you know,

There's fire in the hole.

And nothing left to burn

I'd like to run out now

There's nowhere left to turn

With a cough

I shake it off

And work around my yellow stripe

Should I hide

And eat my pride

Or wait until it's good and ripe

My life is boiling over

It's happened once before

I wish someone would open up the door

Don't you know

There's fire in the hole

And nothing left to burn

Am I myself or just another freak?



“OH MAN! By the time I get out my hair will be grey with dust, just what I need filthy filthy filthy!”

Riot crawled on in the tiny air duct, it hadn’t been made for people and it was embedded with the filth of humanity.

“OK this should be it,” She panted getting her bearings.

It was dark and it had been a long crawl but as she began to relax she felt a firm grasp wrench at her leg.

“If you don’t put me dow… ah” she hissed through gritted teeth which ungritted when he dropped her unceremoniously, her form landing in a tangle on the ground.

"Ya doon now, lil lad?" Said the grinning priest, He looked down at the messy little bugger and couldn't stop grinning.

Riot glared intensely at the priest her green eyes scowling aggressively “Fuck you!” she intoned viciously then examining her plain clothes and spotting her dusty jacket continued to curse dislodging stubborn dust bunnies.

"Don'cha use blasphemy, or ya go teh hell four et. Now than, what 'cher name lil lad?"said the priest his expression turning stony as he lightly scolded her, his eyes following her intently.

She turned to face him arms flailing sarcastically "Yeah, I’ll go to hell and have a Grand Ole Time. Ya know, it's nice to give your name first." she parroted mocking his thick irish accent.

The priest relaxed his stance, stepping back to lessen the tension.

Keeping the space between them as wide as possible, Riot gingerly stepped to the side looking around for a place to run to.

The priest squatted for a second placing his hands on his knees in expectation "Well than, I am Futher Alexander Anderson an' ‘O wo’ld ya be?" he asked conversationally.

Riot crossed her arms and glowered at the priest, her escape thwarted at this moment she decided to focus her frustration on the priest while she formulated another plan, she couldn’t go through the front door, the cops and the club owner were probably out that way. Now that father dumbass had prevented her from using the air vent she was stuck.

She had one choice, the back door

"Don'cha kids hav’ name tees days? I know ya aint mute." said Mr-I'm-so-bad-ass-with-my-stupid-hard-to-understand-accent-and-super-stupid-FACE!

"Yeah, I have a name Father Dumbass; it’s Riot. That's all, that's it. Well now any longer here and we’ll both be dead so I’m off! Later loser!"

She gave him a one finger salute and stormed away. He paused considering for a moment if perhaps he was debating stopping her but shrugged instead maybe deciding that the little miscreant he had likely pulled out of mischief was too much effort to stop today.

All he had to do was follow her, keep her herded away from the exits

"Oh God don’t stop me or I’ll shoot you in the face,” threatened Riot flailing her arms like an orange scarecrow at the elder priest keeping patient pace behind her.

"Jus Riot?" asked the priest cheerily ignoring the urchin’s threat as one might ignore the faults in an ugly baby. “Wat’s yer last name?”

The scruffy youth ignored him, perhaps this lost lamb though he could ignore the priest away.

“Yeh has a last neihm, I jus wan to know it ye ken?” he tried again never faltering in his slow and steady pursuit. “Its wat meihks ye moore than a number or a masheen,”

Riot lifted a hand stiffly, hooking her fingers into a pair of round C shapes putting her voice a metallic monotone she began quoting lines from that terrible “Lost in Space” movie.

Anderson was puzzled by this odd reaction, children these days were so alien once they reached that awkward phase and this boy clearly desired a rise from him almost as much as he wanted to be left alone. And he was going to get one one of them.

“An' why will they kill us, Riot?" asked the father changing his line of questioning, raising his broad shoulders and increasing his speed ever so slightly.

There was a short pause before Riot whirled around with surprising but easily matchable speed.

"Well! Lets start with the obvious!” said Riot in a silky voice low and grating like fingertips on a cello bridge, “THERE ARE NO PEOPLE! Got it? Good!” she shouted putting her foot down with concussive force, her eyes flashing like a cats.

“The place is empty, no people = no money!” she continued speaking more to herself than to Anderson now “And so is the vault. …They are going to be so pissed when they get here if their not already waiting for us." Riot proceeded to let a low, frustrated growl escape.

Anderson watched Riot with mild bemusement as she paced back and forth in front of the bar’s alley. He still blocked the back hallway and front door. He’d stumbled upon someone interesting and he wanted to keep him talking.

That was if the urchin didn’t live up to his threat and shoot the man of God in the face, that would be irritating and a waste of his regeneration talent.

He narrowed his eyes allowing the light of the Night Club glinting off his spectacles with mild menace.

"How do yee know that ta vault is ampty?" he glowered slightly a hint of further scolding.

Riot stopped and stood still for a moment, and smiled with a lunatic grin, she looked over her shoulder and replied,

"Well, I wasn't here to dance. If that’s what your implying Father, Today was my payday but someone beat me there. I’m not really in the mood to talk I’m pissed to hell right now,”

'Oh a thief 'eh? no wonder he wants to get out so badly ' thought Anderson relaxing his taught shoulders.

This was all Riot needed bolting past him with surprising speed she ran hard for the exit. Anderson walked after her slowly and surely.

The boy was a danger but he had great potential, he would be of use if he could train out that flight response.

With Iscariot in shambles after the whole Nazi war thing, Anderson had endeavored to try and rebuild it. He was still horrified to discover how many of his former comrades were unwilling to go back. After having spent the last few years searching for people with the skills needed to fight, he knew he could train this boy to fight Evil in it's truest form.

He had watched carefully how Riot reacted to him, how he played the mind games just right. If he had not seen such acts from the scum he was sworn to kill a millions times already, he might have been scared. Anderson had seen many thieves, after all they work the nightshift too. The problem was that they were always petty and stupid, still he knew that a thief whose pay had been lost could be very temperamental and Riot was on the edge and about to lose his cool.

Best to let him go, he'll be out soon enough and they could bump into one another then.


Chanel Daveed waited until the strange priest and the boy he was following had made their way towards the back door, she cradled her rosary close to her slight chest as she tried to process what happened.

There was a scratching sound above the bar which caused the calming Chanel to jump again; were there more like that guy around?

Schick Schick clang!

The metal trapdoor above the bar flew open as the young girl in a blue dress scurried out of the way of falling plaster and masonry.

“Its amazing what you can accomplish with a sledgehammer and knowledge of the neighboring Pub’s Spirits attic” said a voice in English while the dust cleared.

Chanel peered upwards into the dust trying hard not to cough, just visible through the plaster cloud she could make out the shape of a face and a pair of large tapered ears.

“Ello luv!” greeted Domino smiling like the cat who swallowed the canary, “Can I take you away frum all this?” A few minutes later the trapdoor slid shut and the Harlequin’s eye was well and truly empty.


Walking up to the door she grabbed hold of the bayonet, ripped out and kicked open the door with all her fury to see three younger versions of her pursuer.

How cute.

"Hey!! Who are you? Where is Father Anderson?!! Answer you pig!!!" Called the one to the left. Riot shuffled her feet putting herself in the classic fight or flight stance.

"My name is not 'pig'." She hissed through clenched teeth The boy did not stand down, that was a foolish move.

"Whatever!!! I swear if you hurt Father I'll-” started the boy his voice full of righteous bravado

"Carmen! Shut up boy!!" command Anderson as he walked past Riot with an air of absolute calm. Riot snorted indignantly as he passed and then still watching him like an unfamiliar dog, she said her farewell to her harasser . "Well I'm off." She declared, doing a 180 on her heels and began towards a nearby dumpster at the end of the short ally. The clones stood silent and unmoving staring at her; they were intent on her as her coat swayed side to side on her body, her short sharp steps sounding dully on the cobbled alleyway. As she walked past Carmen, he spat out another insult but she just kept on.

"Riot. Stop."

She continued to kept walk to a dumpster and threw off a cardboard box.

“Don’t you have enough little dogs to call? What do you want old man?" she snapped tensing aggressively

He just looked at her with a strong compassionate gaze. "Yer goin' hoom? Afta all dis? Are ya reely so use ta dis sorta cahos?" he said with more warmth than she’d heard before from the priest.

Riot hesitated, why was this guy so interested in her, she didn’t need someone like him watching over her like an avenging angel.

She sighed noticeably staring at the ground, a small weed in the wall dominating her attention.

"Well? Are ya reely okay?" asked Anderson again with uncharacteristic softness. "I'm fine,” she said more softly than she intended “dead man is nothing but a piece of meat that can‘t hurt you. I've killed before, doesn't bother me anymore. ”

There was a short pause before the thunder.

"Done it before? How can you be a murderer!!! You make me sick!! YOU SOULD DIE!!!" This was that Carmen boy, just what she needed the self righteousness preaching of a crazy priest.

Her hands went to her ears; shutting her eyes tight, she shielded herself from the halo of gunfire behind the dumpster. She was really sick of this shit now. Carmen kept preaching and shouting to the heavens of righteous judgement, his friends had disarmed him and were now holding the young priest to the ground.

" GOING TO HELL YOU SWINE, DO YOU HEAR ME??!" Carmen sputtered as he struggled against his brothers even more.

"MY NAME IS NOT SWINE!!!! IT'S RIOT!!! AND I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK YOU COCK SUCKING DOG!!” yelled Riot pulling Riddick out and pointing it at the young priest; eyes ablaze.


This was going to end in blood, egged on by the drums of Rage; Riot tried to pull the trigger. Then she felt something, a sharp pain to her scalp. The world stopped moving, faces frozen in both fear and shock. She heard the muffled thump of her slight body falling to the ground the black of incoming oblivion. As she lost consciousness she could hear the sounds of gunfire and planes… smell fire and blood…

She was in a war… The old Nursery Rhyme hummed distantly like the voices of ghost children. Distorted and disembodied.

'One bright Morning in the middle of the Night...' The skies were lit up in a red and orange glow, heavy clouds of smoke choked the life out of the soldiers who were running and shooting at the other armed forces. Faces black with ash and blood. Flames shot up the sides of clasping barns and homes, the smell of burned flesh ran rank with gunpowder and blood. Holes in the roads and surrounding fields from the air raids held handfuls of men hiding from the spray of gunfire. Standing tall was a man on the hill, laughing quietly at the chaos. He looked down at them as though he were looking at drowning ants. Beside him, a White Dog with dead eyes.

'Two damned Dogs began to fight'  From the edge of the woods, a Dog darker then black appeared. It walked, head held high, burning eyes on the White Dog. They made eye contact and froze. The laughing man looked over to the new beast and spoke in heavy German "Ist nice aof you to join us tanight. Miss vour brother? Come, say hallo, Var Dog." As soon as the words left his mouth the two large canines lunged at each other and the blood spilled...

'Back to back they faced each other...' The enraged animals fought at a speed to fast for human eyes, tearing mouthfuls of flesh and fur. The man stood there and watched with a wicked smile on his face. In his hand he held a leash and black collar with strange script on the inside of it. He egged on the White Dog to bring down the Black Dog, laughing the whole time.

'Left out the swords and lost their honor...' The whirring sound of on coming planes heavy with bombs came to the ears of the Dogs. The flash of the explosion, they parted. Fur wet and matted with blood both parties stood as still as stone watching the other from across the battlefield. The man spoke again with anger "Damn you Var Dog, Git tha Black one!! I vant it! You both are MIEN!"

'Foolish man he heard the shouts, came and killed them as they fought...' The Black Dog turned and ran as the next round of bombs fell... but didn't make it...

A stranger's voice reminds me

To serve and not to speak

Am I myself or just another freak?



Track 3


-Felonious, my old friend

Step on in and let me shake your hand

So glad that you're here again

For one more time

Let your madness run with mine!

Streets still unseen, we'll find somehow

No time is better than now!


@ The song is FIRE IN THE HOLE by STEELY DAN! Proof/source- http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/steely_dan/fire_in_the_hole.html 

You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story