Blood On My Hands

BY : ShinigamiMailJeevas
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 802
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or make any money from it or this story.

AN: The last chapter! Oh nooz! What will happen I wonder? Though someone got it right......

Suggested Listening: Blood on My Hands by The Used; The Angel and the Rain by The Love Crave (listen to this for the second half ^_^)

Chapter Four: Proof?

“Matt are you hurt?” Mello asked quietly and held up the jacket that he'd left on his bed. Matt hadn't thought that Mello would wake up or even that he would snoop. Though he knew he shouldn't have been surprised.

But how was he supposed to deal with the question... the truth would be best despite the next obvious question Mello would probably ask.

“No.” he watched as relief flooded Mello's eyes before conscious thought seemed to catch up with him and the blonde froze.

“If it's not yours...?” Mello let the question hang and dropped the jacket to the floor as though it had burned him. Matt sighed. He really didn't have much of a choice, did he?

“Mello, get ready. We're going out.” he brushed passed his friend and quickly shoved a pair of jeans on over his boxers and tugged off the short sleeved shirt and replaced it with one of his long-sleeved striped ones.

“Where?” Mello stood still in the same spot though Matt hadn't really expected him to jump up and do as he'd asked. One doesn’t immediately trust someone who just admitted it's not their own blood on their jacket...

“You wanted to know where I go every week, I'm going to show you. It's the only way you'll understand...” though Matt knew the last part was iffy. Mello may never understand...

“It's not too late out yet, so everything should be fine.” he muttered again, though quieter than before. He was taking a risk in doing this, but he couldn’t afford to have that conversation while inside of Whammys.

“Alright Matt.” there was a calmness in the blondes voice that had Matt looking over. Mello held a small smile and genuinely looked pleased. Matt swallowed harshly and hoped that Mello would be the second one in his life to understand...

Mello took a very short amount of time in getting ready, and had even forgone a jacket as it wasn't particularly cold out.

Mello followed him silently the entre time, even as they passed through the shady parts of town, though he had noticed Mello tense when he'd caught someone staring at him. He could tell Mello was a bit apprehensive, as they entered the building he'd used only a short while ago.

“Why are we here, Matt?” Mello asked him, confusion making his face scrunch up slightly. Matt suddenly wondered if telling him was a good idea... he could just make up something; tell him he was a junkie or that he got into street fights...

But a large portion of his mind rebelled against the idea of lying, once more, about who he was. Especially from someone he called a friend. His only friend since B...

He could no longer take Mello's stares, those impossibly brilliant blue eyes, and turned his back to him as he began to pace the room; the only light coming from the moon that shone from outside.

“You want to know everything correct?” Matt asked, and glanced back for a moment to catch Mello's nod. “Are you sure?” he whispered.

“Yes Matt, just get on with it. I mean... it can't be that bad. I'm just... you know...?” Mello sounded uncomfortable and skirted over having to say he was worried, though it made Matt smile.

“I've been like this ever since I can remember...” he began, though he didn't stop his pacing. “My parents were disgusted, my teachers never understood it, so I learned to be wary of it. To ... hate a part of myself. At least before I came here.”

He felt Mello's eyes following his every movement and knew he wasn't making much sense just yet.

“When I met Beyond he could immediately tell I was different, he said it was my eyes. They were cold and calculating. He helped me understand why I felt the way I did.” Matt walked right passed Mello, finally having taken his pacing near the blonde.

“And what did Beyond help you understand?” Mello whispered, though Matt could easily hear the curiosity laced into it.

“Why I’ve always been different... why I like watching people in pain. Why I like causing it. In fact.. it's more of a craving now, something so ingrained in my being that I couldn't stop even if I wanted to.” Matt heard the sharp intake of breath from Mello and didn't look at him as he walked passed.

“When Beyond left I knew I had to hide that part of myself again, so I waited until I was strong enough to be able to do the things I wanted. Mello every week I go out and kill someone.”

Mello snorted. “You're joking, right?”

Matt shook his head and watched as Mello's smile faded. “You're serious? You kill people?!” Mello's eyes were wide and he appeared... not disgusted... but not accepting.

Matt felt his heart drop. He knew Mello wouldn't understand and he honestly didn't know why he had thought the blonde might. Had it been because they were friends? Because Mello was different from Beyond?

Mello had taken a half step back and Matt clenched his fists by his sides. Things would never be the same now, even if Mello could keep the secret.

He felt sad, horribly so, as he really did like Mello. But between Mello and his 'cravings', he knew what he would choose. He could be happy with Mello... to an extent... but the craving to hurt, to kill, would always be there.

Always lurking, and Matt knew it would slowly drive him insane if he couldn't fulfill it.

And he liked what he did. Loved it, got off on it. He couldn't give it up... not even for Mello.

He had really hoped that he wouldn't have to use the item in his pocket. He closed his eyes and unseen to the blonde, pulled out his switchblade. “I'm sorry.” he whispered and Mello had to have heard him as his face twisted in to confusion and then surprise as he tackled him to the ground.

He was used to being able to subdue full grown men, so Mello was no challenge despite how violent the blonde could get with others.

Matt presses the knife to Mello's neck and he can just barely feel the blonde's pulse racing frantically. “I'm sorry... but if you can't accept it... I’m sorry.” he chokes out.

Mello had fear in his eyes and Matt's heart beat faster than it ever had before, he was getting a high greater than ever before, his inner torment over the matter only adding to the experience.

“Goodbye Mello...I'll miss you.” he dug the knife into the blonde's flesh and pressed his lips to Mello's and could taste the blood that filled his mouth. He watched, tears sliding down his cheeks, as Mello's eyes slowly close and sticky blood pooled out around him.

He allows himself a few moments, more that a few moments, to compose himself, his heart absolutely aching in his chest, before he stood up and with shaking hands began to clean the area.

Though this cleaning would have to be different from the others. He couldn't just hide the body, or cut it up, or let it be found. L would not take kindly to the disappearance of a successor, nor would he let the murder of one go unsolved.

He would have to torch the place, and make sure that Mello's body was turned to ash and made undistinguishable. But first... he had to bleach everything. It was a safeguard in case the fire was put out before the body could properly disappear.

His clothes would also have to go, as they were soaked in Mello's blood. His jacket too... thankfully it was an old one that he hardly wore, so it wouldn't be obvious that it was missing. And he had plenty of the same kind of shirts and jeans, so he would be alright in that department as well.

He dug around an old beat up cabinet until he found a latch on the underside of a draw and a secret compartment popped open. He pulled out a container of bleach and set to work. He was lucky he still had a spare pair of clothes in there too, as Mello's death had not been planned.

He set about covering the floor, the walls and any available surface with every accelerant he had on hand. He needed the place to burn. It was a good thing it had been abandoned many years ago, so police wouldn’t look too much into it, unless the body was found.

He striped himself bare and tossed the clothes onto Mello, though his boots would have to be disposed of elsewhere, despite how thoroughly bleached they were.

He left a trail of the liquids so that it traveled outside of the door and he ripped of a piece of cloth from the spare shirt, as it too would be disposed of at a later date, but set it aside until after he had dressed himself.

He fished his lighter out of the pocket and held the cloth over the flame until it caught fire. He tossed it onto the trail of liquids and took off the second the fire reached the inside of the building and began to burn everything.

He would know sooner or later whether or not he had successfully covered his tracks.

Though he knew he would have to lie low for a while, stick to simpler things than murder to ease the cravings, until L had moved on and he could once more go out.

Though he knew that if Mello's body wasn't found that the immediate thought would probably be that the stress had gotten to him and he had run off as Mello had once again suffered defeat at Near's hands earlier that day.

They, or rather Mello, had gotten into a fight over it; so it wouldn't seem all that odd for the blonde to have finally snapped and left.

Matt took the long way back to Whammys, taking care to avoid being seen by anyone. He finally slipped back through the window and took care of any lingering evidence. He looked over at Mello's bed and frowned at the sharp pain in his chest.

It would be harder than he thought...


Two months later found Matt sitting on his bed, window open as he smoked, playing his games.

He looked up at a knock on the door. “Come in.” he called softly though he let his gaze fall back to the handheld before anyone stepped inside.

“Matt, starting from today Devon will be your new roommate...” Rodger trailed off at his lack of response and Matt heard the man sigh. Matt's eyes flickered to the doorway, though he showed no outward sighs of having done so.

The boy that stood there was short with black hair and dark eyes and was very frail seeming. He walked delicately, as though the very thought of moving hurt. Rodger took his leave and left the two of them alone.

Matt’s eyes narrowed as the boy placed his things on Mello's bed. Just because the blonde was gone, didn't mean it wasn't still his bed, despite most of his possessions having been removed, or placed with Matt's things.

“Wow it's really soft!” came the quiet exclamation of surprise as the boy flopped onto the bed. Matt didn't like him. At all.

Just because having two roommates disappear would seem odd... didn't mean he couldn’t play with him a little, right?

He would either drive the boy from the room, or drive him insane.

It would be fun either way.

Devon shivered and shrank away from his stare and Matt's smile widened.

-End Proof?-

AN: Wow. I really seem to like crazy Matt. But Matty does crazy well, don't you think?

So what is everyone’s thoughts on this twisted 4-shot? It really was just something to divert my issues onto until I finished Choices, though incidentally I wrote most of this chapter AFTER I had finished that fic. W00ps?

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