It Was Never A Love Story

BY : Evermist
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 2749
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, and I'm not making any money off this fic.

February 10 2005

L slowly pushed himself into a sitting position, blinking sleep out of his slightly gummy eyes. An annoyed glance at the clock told him it was almost seven in the morning, so the task force would start arriving in less than twenty minutes. He frowned as he shuffled to the bathroom, grabbing a fresh set of clothes along the way. He wouldn't normally bother with trivial things like clean clothes, but Light had a tendency to complain about the smell if he went for more than three days without changing.

It was really quite irritating how tired L had found himself over the past couple days. He was having trouble staying awake much past midnight, and each morning he woke up a little bit later than the day before. He had gained about a half a pound in the last week, too, and L almost wondered if he might be getting sick. He hadn't been sick since he got appendicitis when he was ten, so he couldn't quite remember exactly what it was like. It's late, too, he thought as he finished his business and flushed the toilet. The detective briefly contemplated taking the day off; it wouldn't do to get sick in the middle of the investigation; but almost immediately dismissed the idea. They had spotted the first death that even might be related to Kira in months just two days ago, and L was not about to risk letting that get away for the sake of personal health.

As the day went on, L found himself more and more distracted by the curiosity of what might be wrong with him. Around noon, when the rest of the task force left for lunch, he decided it wouldn't hurt to take a quick break from the case, rather than work through the next hour. It wasn't like any of theme were finding any leads, anyway, so he typed some of the symptoms he'd been noticing into a search engine. "This...cannot be right..," L mumbled, scrolling through the different results. Nearly every page he looked at was telling him that he was pregnant. L turned away from the screen and placed his finger over the button to connect his microphone to Watari's room, pausing for a moment before pressing down to collect himself. This is most definitely going to make us both uncomfortable, he thought before finally pushing the button. "Watari, when you go grocery shopping tonight, I need you to pick me up something in particular..."


February 11 2005

L crouched on the bathroom floor, staring impatiently at the counter. Three pregnancy tests were sitting on it, and still had somewhere around a minute left before they would give any results. If they came back positive...L shook the thought out of his head for the moment. He didn't think he was quite ready to deal with that possibility, even if it very well might become truth in a few short seconds.

The little timer the detective had set next to the tests beeped, and L suddenly felt very nervous. Do I really want to know what those tests have to say? If I were to have a child, the Kira case could very well suffer for it. He closed his eyes briefly, took a deep breath, stood up, and looked at the first test.

Three small plus signs ran down the length of the stick. L's breath hitched for a moment, and he quickly turned to the next one, which showed a little red heart. A feeling of dread filled the young man's gut as he looked to the results of the final test. The word 'Pregnant' lit up from its little digital screen, and L swallowed nervously, leaning against the wall.

So, he thought unhappily. I am going to have a child. He gave a harsh chuckle at the thought. Him, a father! Or, more accurately, a mother. Whoever had thought of this sick joke really needed to get a new sense of humor. He sighed, sweeping the tests from the counter into the garbage. Pregnant or not, he needed to get to work before the others noticed he was missing.

On his way down the hallway, L paused outside one of the doors. When he'd released Light from the cuffs, the younger man had gleefully taken his own bedroom down the hall from L's. The detective wouldn't say that he quite missed the brunet's presence at night, but it had taken quite the adjustment after so long of sleeping in the same bed. L placed a nervous hand on his stomach, swallowing again. How on Earth am I going to tell Light?


February 24 2005

The next couple weeks passed without much incident. L still found himself sleeping a little bit more each night, but no new symptoms had appeared. He tried several times to tell Light about the baby, but each time found himself thwarted, whether it be by a new lead being discovered; although it almost always turned out to be false later; an unexpected visit from Misa, or even his own voice failing to put it into words. L had gone to Watari for any advice he might have, but having never had any children of his own, the older man hadn't really known what to tell him. L's last conscious thought before drifting to sleep had been that same question that had been plaguing his mind for nearly two weeks now. After what seemed like a horribly short time sleeping, L felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Ryuuzaki...hey, Ryuuzaki!"

The detective opened his eyes slowly, blinking towards the one shaking him. "Light...kun?" he mumbled, sitting up.

The brunet released L's shoulder, giving him a concerned look. "Have you been feeling all right, Ryuuzaki? You've seemed kind of out of sorts lately, and it's almost seven-thirty. The rest of the force is already here, and we've all been wondering where you are. You okay?"

L nodded, standing up. "I am perfectly healthy, Light-kun. However, there is something I have been neglecting to tell you." He paused, trying to hold back a sudden wave of nausea.

At L's sudden silence, Light gave an annoyed sigh, turning away from the older man. "Are you going to tell me or not, L? Spit it out already!" L made a slight noise, and Light turned back just in time to see the detective run across the room towards his bathroom. "Ryuuzaki..?" Light paused at the highly unappealing sound of L retching, and slowly walked into the bathroom.

L was kneeling in front of the toilet with his forehead pressed against the edge of the bowl. He lifted his head briefly to look at Light before spitting into the porcelain basin and wiping his lips with a handful of toilet paper. “You call that ‘perfectly healthy’, Ryuuzaki?” Light asked from the doorway. “I don’t think this even qualifies as slightly healthy.”

The detective rinsed his mouth before turning to face the brunet. “Light-kun, I assure you there is nothing wrong with me.”

“Healthy people don’t go around throwing up for no reason, Ryuuzaki,” Light growled, walking towards the sink. “Now either tell me how this is healthy, or admit you’re sick and go back to bed.”

L eyed the younger for a moment before speaking. “Light-kun wishes to know why I do not believe I am sick, so I shall tell him.” He paused, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “I realize that you probably will not believe me, Light, and possibly will even hit me, but I assure you that I am not about to lie.”

Light growled, rolling his eyes. “We already went through this before you threw up, Ryuuzaki, now just say whatever it is already, okay? Kira’s not going to catch himself, you know.”

“I am pregnant with Light-kun’s child.”

The brunet blinked. “Come on, L. If you aren’t going to tell me the truth, you have to at least come up with something more believable than that.”

“Light-kun, please remember to call me Ryuuzaki. And I repeat, I am not lying. I am going to have a baby,” L said, walking past the brunet and into his bedroom.

“You can’t be pregnant, Ryuuzaki,” Light barked, following the other out of the bathroom. “You aren’t a woman!”

L stopped halfway to his dresser to look back at Light. “I am pregnant, Light-kun. The fact of the matter is simply that I was born with the reproductive organs of both males and females. I am what most would call a hermaphrodite.” That said, he continued his journey to get clean clothes for the day.

Light stared disbelievingly as the detective pulled a fresh shirt out of the drawer. “Ryuuzaki, I think I would have noticed if you were a hermaphrodite. We slept together three times! How would I have missed something like that?”

“I have been wondering about that myself,” L said, pulling the fresh shirt over his head. “I believe the only plausible explanation is that Light-kun was too focused on satisfying his basic primal needs to notice something as out of the ordinary as a man having a vagina.”

“All right, Ryuuzaki. I’ll play along with your little game,” Light said, lightly stepping across the carpet to stand next to the detective. “I’ll say you’re a hermaphrodite, and I somehow didn’t realize it before now, and I’ll even say you’re pregnant. But I do have one last hole to poke in this idea of yours.” He placed a hand on L’s shoulder, turning the dark-haired man to face him. “Hermaphrodites can’t get pregnant, L. They’re sterile. You cannot be a pregnant man.”

“Again, Light-kun fails to call me by my alias, and again, he refuses to believe me,” L said quietly. “I suppose there is nothing I can do as of now to truly convince him, seeing as I am neither showing yet, nor am I having any symptoms that belong solely to pregnancy. Although…” he trailed off, thinking for a moment. “Come with me, Light,” he said, grabbing the brunet’s hand and pulling him into the hall. “I believe that I do actually have something I can do to prove my pregnancy to you.”


That…covered a lot of time in a little chapter. I would’ve liked it to be a bit longer, but that’s where I wanted the chapter to end at, so I’m sorry. *cower* Once the plot really gets going, they shouldn’t do that anymore. It’s not just gonna be nine month-long chapters, there’s just very little happening in February…and March….and….April…although April does finally have some actual plot development aside from L getting new symptoms! Please be patient and keep reading….I’m sorry for my horrible amount of suck.

Hopefully, anybody reading this will please take the time to give me the Almighty and Glorious Review so I’ll write more and faster. Although I do have to wonder…does anyone else find it easier to write when they’re on the bus with random people watching them over their shoulders? Because I usually can’t get anything written if someone’s watching me, but on the bus…it’s weird.

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