Prove Me Wrong

BY : abeastofprey
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 15312
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.




Ryuuzaki stared challengingly at the time displayed on his
laptop screen. ‘Five hours. Five…hours…with nothing to show for it.’

After the brunette had fallen asleep after Misa’s talk - and
Ryuuzaki’s embarrassing episode - Ryuuzaki had entertained himself with card
tricks. Luckily, Raito hadn’t taken too long to rest.

They both decided to inform the rest of the investigation
team of their decision to capture Higuchi immediately. Mixed reactions had met
their announcement – nervous excitement being the only shared one. A long
discussion had followed; Ryuuzaki sat listening respectively well into the
evening, erasing any fears the others expressed. He only excused both himself
and the brunette when he had noticed Raito’s increasing exhaustion. Six hours had
passed since Raito had fallen asleep.

Ryuuzaki frowned and tried once again to make progress with
his thoughts, running his finger over the touchpad in uneven circles. He had
scanned the organized Kira documents countless times, and was still afraid of
overlooking a crucial fact. When he had given the others hard copies, Ryuuzaki
had hoped fresh eyes would give him more insight; unfortunately, the others had
seen the task as simple busy work and Ryuuzaki had gotten nothing from the
assignment. He closed all active windows concerning Higuchi and opened them
again in an effort to start fresh. His thumb found its accustomed spot against
his lips, and the simple position soothed him. He glanced guiltily to the
sleeping brunette stretched out alongside him but left his thumb where it was. He
sighed silently and looked back to the monitor. ‘Higuchi…annoys me.’ He
selected another puccho block from the group scattered across the keyboard,
unwrapping the treat with the same hand. The candy usually brought a smile to
his lips; he barely registered the taste this time. Looking away from his
cascaded documents to focus instead on the bedroom’s window, he sleepily watched
a plane pass over. The craft’s lazily flickering lights blurred as he fell back
into his thoughts. ‘Higuchi needs a name and a face to kill… Okay. We’ll take
precautions against slip-ups. It’s going to be risky to approach him directly,
but…’ He looked back to his screen. Maximizing the document stating the man’s
behavior patterns, then tabbing over to the file listing related deaths,
Ryuuzaki hummed in thought. ‘But…he’s going to run. He’s a coward who holds no
ethics; he kills for personal gain.’ Ryuuzaki played with wrappers
absentmindedly. ‘He doesn’t act the way Rai…the first Kira did.’ The pale boy
popped his shoulder tensely, trying unsuccessfully to banish the unwanted
Raito-Kira thought. He froze when he realized he was making noise and looked to
Raito. The brunette continued to sleep undisturbed and Ryuuzaki returned to his
persistent thoughts. ‘Cornered creatures are never entirely predictable…
Higuchi is a very defensive, anxious killer and we’ll have to be prepared for
the slim chance that he won’t run; that he’ll stand his ground and fight.’
Ryuuzaki smirked. ‘Unlikely.’

Raito woke frowning, pulling his pillow closer. He was
confused by the unnatural light filling the room, and whispered, “Ryuuzaki?” He
opened an eye to locate the boy’s position before draping his arm over his face
to shield himself. “What are you doing?” he mumbled. Shifting, he pressed
closer to the pale boy, face hidden behind Ryuuzaki’s back to avoid the
laptop’s light. He wrapped his arms around Ryuuzaki, shivering as he came into
contact with the other’s cool skin. He tugged Ryuuzaki down and threw the
blankets over him. He frowned when the silent detective reached for his laptop.
“No.” Raito laced his fingers with Ryuuzaki’s and brought their arms back under
the covers. “You need to rest,” he nuzzled the crook of Ryuuzaki’s neck.

Ryuuzaki laughed and squirmed away from the brunette’s lips.
“I need to think, Raito.”

“Think?” Raito dragged Ryuuzaki back, tempted to tickle him
again. He resisted so as to keep the boy next to him and was rewarded for his
choice. Raito hummed contently, drunk on Ryuuzaki’s scent and quickly warming
body. He pressed his forehead to the base of Ryuuzaki’s neck and ran his
fingers through the fluff behind the boy’s ear.

“To catch Kira,” he replied quietly, feeling drowsy in
Raito’s arms, “I need to think.” He smiled when Raito tangled their limbs
together to keep him from reaching for his laptop again.

“You can think right here,” Raito whispered. He squeezed

Ryuuzaki smiled again, closing his eyes. “No I can’t. You’re
making me sleepy.”

Raito laughed quietly. “Good. Rest.” He tucked Ryuuzaki in
with more care and felt the boy sigh gently.

The detective pressed back against Raito, pulling the boy’s
arm around him a little tighter. After a moment he felt the brunette’s weight
rest against him comfortably as the schoolboy started to doze. “Raito,” he

Raito pressed his lips to Ryuuzaki’s shoulder before
slipping back into the fuzzy haze leading toward sleep.

“Tomorrow, I…” He opened his eyes and focused on his laptop
again, catching one last glimpse at the opened files before the device switched
to stand by. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the sudden lack of
light. “Raito,” he whispered again, aware of how clearly his uncertainty
underlined the boy’s name.

The brunette hugged the other warmly. He wordlessly moved to
face Ryuuzaki, settling on the boy’s other side. He set the laptop on the floor
along with the candy, frowning at the sweets as they skittered across the keys.
Turning back to Ryuuzaki, he held the detective’s gaze for a moment. He
eventually smoothed the pad of his thumb over one of the pale boy’s worriedly
angled eyebrows, smiling when the action caused Ryuuzaki’s expression to relax.

Despite the other’s efforts, Ryuuzaki could feel his
eyebrows dip again. His throat tightened. “I’m scared,” he admitted in a

“I know,” Raito returned just as quietly. He moved closer to
the shaking boy, sad to feel his unsteady breaths. “Shh…”

Ryuuzaki pushed himself tightly to the brunette, hiding his
face between his lover’s neck and the mattress.

Raito wrapped himself around Ryuuzaki. After a moment, he
said softly, “The longer we wait to catch him, the more you’ll stress…” He
combed Ryuuzaki’s hair away from his eyes and moved back just far enough to
kiss the boy’s forehead. He knew Ryuuzaki’s fears didn’t stem from Higuchi
alone – the boy was capable of conceiving every possible scenario, and from his
occasional mutterings, Raito discovered Ryuuzaki feared many things. Raito felt
distancing themselves from Kira would rid Ryuuzaki of his distress, and he had
suggested that they let the police take care of the man’s capture; Ryuuzaki’s
strong sense of responsibility wouldn’t allow it. He cupped his hand over
Ryuuzaki’s head warmly. “I swear to protect you, Ryuuzaki.”

Ryuuzaki slipped his fingers through Raito’s hair to keep
them close to each other.

“Even from myself,” Raito whispered.

The detective made a thin noise and shut his eyes tightly,
drawing his knees up to his chest. The move unintentionally put distance
between himself and the brunette, but Raito easily accommodated him by shifting
higher on the mattress.

Raito curved around Ryuuzaki, reaching forward to run his
thumb over the boy’s cheek. “I trust you to handle the situation, Ryuuzaki.
Everything will be alright, right?” Ryuuzaki nodded hesitantly. Raito tilted
Ryuuzaki’s chin up for a kiss. He smiled softly against the boy’s lips and
coaxed Ryuuzaki out of his defensive position before pulling him closer. Raito
then slid a pillow beneath his head for the two of them to share.

Ryuuzaki quickly fit himself to the brunette. He tried to
deepen his quick, tight breaths when Raito planted his palm over his ribs and
shushed him again. He let Raito angle his head downward, smiling against the
boy’s collarbone when the brunette pulled the blankets over their heads. Ryuuzaki
could feel a returned smile when Raito kissed his forehead.

The makeshift shelter calmed the detective relatively
quickly. His laptop’s whirring fan and the moon’s glare were unable to reach
him; Raito’s breathing and protective embrace became his entire world. His
limbs became pleasantly heavy and he had to make an effort to settle over Raito
as the brunette moved to lie on his back.

Raito helped Ryuuzaki find a comfortable position, almost
forced to move the relaxed boy on his own. He used his elbow to further tent
the blankets above their heads.

Ryuuzaki was easily lulled to sleep by Raito, encouraged
through gentle touches to let go of consciousness. A whispered assurance of
love reached him just before he fell asleep.

Raito continued to feather his fingertips over Ryuuzaki’s
back and arms. He waited until he was sure the tranquil boy was finally
sleeping. He wondered idly how long Ryuuzaki had been awake, afraid that the
boy had been up all night. He slipped his fingers out of Ryuuzaki’s hair and
cautiously eased the covers down to the detective’s chin, moving slowly to keep
the room’s contrasting cool air from waking him. Raito protectively watched
over Ryuuzaki while he slept, occasionally tending to Ryuuzaki whenever the boy
stirred. He took the detective’s hand into his; Ryuuzaki slept contently
afterward. “Be strong, Ryuuzaki.” Raito smiled and quietly watched the sun


“Dad, please, someone else…”

“Raito, do not distract me.”

Ryuuzaki watched apprehensively as Soichiro approached Kira.
The murderer had acted predictably, but now that Higuchi was literally
cornered, Ryuuzaki was worried. He voiced his concern, to which Soichiro
replied with only confidence. The notebook was passed around and Ryuuzaki
tensed with unusable energy as chaos exploded among the officers. He
unthinkingly wanted to jump out of the helicopter to help – Raito’s voice
brought his senses back.

“What’s going on? Dad?”

“Raito, stay where you are,” the elder Yagami commanded

Ryuuzaki felt the chain slacken a great deal as Raito
settled back into his seat obediently. The brunette was sitting painfully
straight, eyes focused solely on his father.

“Dad, is everyone alright?”

“There’s…a strange being here. We didn’t notice it before.”

“‘It’?” Raito cocked his head to the side.

Ryuuzaki finally fond his voice, “Everyone return to the
squad cars. Detain Higuchi, place him in car four.” His curiosity got the
better of him and he asked, “Could someone please bring me the notebook?” His
blood raced in excitement as a masked officer brought the requested item toward
the helicopter. He swung open the door.

“H-here, Ryuuzaki…”

Raito peeked over at the sound of the familiar voice, turning
his headset off.

“Matsuda?” Ryuuzaki asked, looking at his reflection in the
tinted visor.

The helmeted officer nodded shakily, hand still

Ryuuzaki thanked him and took the offered book. He ordered
Matsuda to return to the eldest Yagami, smiling as Raito agreed eagerly. “To
the cars,” Ryuuzaki added again as Matsuda turned away.

Matsuda nodded, hurrying back to Soichiro.

Ryuuzaki watched Matsuda tug Soichiro to the scattered cars.
He smiled when he heard Raito sigh in relief. Turning back to face the console,
Ryuuzaki’s breath hitched. ‘What…is that…?’ He peered closer, leaning toward
the glass before him. ‘Shinigami?’ A shiver of fear traveled down his spine as
he took in the creature with more focus. He opened his mouth and failed to produce
sound. He cleared his throat in annoyance and looked away to clear his head. He
switched his headset on to say forcefully, “Get back to the squad cars.” He
relaxed slightly as straggling officers who obviously couldn’t see the
shinigami finally returned to the safety of the cars.

“L?” Soichiro sounded slightly irritated as the line opened
up; Matsuda could be heard apologizing to his elder in the background. “Higuchi
is now fully detained. Car four is taking him in for questioning. Is this how
you’d like them to proceed?”

“Yes. I will not attend the questioning in person. Make sure
they know to keep themselves protected, names and faces. Assume Higuchi still
has the ability to kill with a glance. He must be watched at all times, three
people should be enough. The questions should focus on his method of killing
and his actions in his place of employment. Both a camera and recorder should
be used, as we want at the very least two methods to document his responses.”

“I’ll inform them.”

Matsuda cut in, “L?”

“Yes, Matsuda?”

“This…thing…is creeping me out… Should we throw it in with

“What thing?” Raito mumbled curiously.

“Yes, Matsuda,” Ryuuzaki replied, waiting a second before
cutting his end of the line. He went back to staring at the interesting shinigami.

“Here, let me see,” Raito said as he took the notebook from
Ryuuzaki. He tilted it slightly to run his thumb under the cover. Just as he
began to open it, a sudden electric shock ran through him. He halted his
actions in confusion before memories violently flooded back to him, too quickly
to catch most save for flashes of scribbled names and random faces. ‘I’m Kira. I’m
He choked on a gasp, and screamed, clutching the notebook so
tightly his knuckles were white. Only when he had run out of air did his scream
die on his lips. He took in a shaky breath, staring forward with unseeing eyes.
‘Ryuuzaki’s theory was right. How… How could I…murder…I…’

“Raito-kun?” Ryuuzaki asked in concern, reaching for Raito.
He had been shocked upon seeing the shinigami as well, but not as surprised as
Raito apparently. No, that couldn’t be what caused Raito’s reaction. When his
fingertips brushed against Raito’s shoulder, the brunette tensed.

“No!” Raito tore away from Ryuuzaki’s hand, throwing himself
over his seat. He crashed into the cabin, causing Ryuuzaki to jerk back as the
taut chain pulled him. Raito glanced fearfully to Ryuuzaki, afraid to trust
himself around the boy. He pressed himself tightly against the side of the
helicopter. His eyes were wide, but they had an unfocused look to them.

Ryuuzaki twisted and followed Raito, gracefully stepping
between the seats. He advanced slowly, speaking quietly in an even tone,
“Raito-kun, everything’s alright.” He reached for him again, but thought better
of it. He sat crouched next to the other, frowning as he listened to Raito’s
struggled breathing.

Raito flinched without cause and blinked his eyes clear.
When he saw Ryuuzaki, he panicked. He pressed himself harder into the wall,
shoes squeaking as he repeatedly pushed away from the boy before him. He
whimpered, shaking his head. “Don’t… Evil… I… Ryuuzaki, get away!” He shoved at
him, still clinging to the notebook. The shove wasn’t very effective in the
cramped space, and the stressed chain caused his handcuff to dig painfully into
his wrist. He watched a small cut form, blood beading at the edges. ‘Blood.’
His eyes shifted over to his watch. ‘The piece of note…the pin…’ It was
difficult to sift through all of the memories and his head felt light. He
considered his previous plan hurriedly. ‘If I claim the note again, I’ll be
Kira… If I claim the note…L and I will be enemies.’ He looked to Ryuuzaki and
his breath caught in his chest. ‘If I take claim over the book…’ As soon as his
voice came back, a small, “Help,” tumbled out.

“Raito-kun?” Ryuuzaki righted himself and leaned forward.
‘Best to tread cautiously,’ he thought in concern. “Raito, calm down. Give me
the book.” He slowly lifted his hand again, making sure to keep his eyes locked
with the brunette’s.

“No!” Raito shook his head furiously, his bangs sticking to
his sweat-damp forehead. He pulled the dark cover to his chest. “I’ll forget!
All of it! I can’t let it go!” His hands were shaking so much now that Ryuuzaki
could hear the pages quietly rubbing against each other. “Wait…”

“Forget what?” Ryuuzaki determinedly clasped his hands over
Raito’s, securing the book in their hands. “Raito, look at me.”

Raito took in shuddering breaths, staring at their hands. He
slowly lifted his eyes to look into his lover’s. He blinked his eyes free of
tears and whispered, “My watch, get rid of it.” The knowledge of the tainted
timepiece was making him sick – he was surrounded by death note.

Puzzled, Ryuuzaki glanced quickly to the watch before
looking back at Raito. “Why would—”

“Please.” Raito rested his forehead against
Ryuuzaki’s. His eyes were shut tight as he begged. “Please, please, please.

Ryuuzaki undid the watch’s band with one skillful hand,
keeping the other gripped firmly over Raito’s; feeling for any change in the
book’s position. “What do I do with it?”

“Keep it away from me,” Raito said tiredly, slouching.
“There’s a piece of note in it…”

Ryuuzaki froze. He almost opened his mouth to ask the brunette
to repeat himself, but he knew he had heard correctly and he didn’t want to
hear Raito say it again. He stared at the simple watch in wonder. ‘If he had
note already, then I was right…’ He couldn’t look away from the ticking
timepiece, mesmerized by the secondhand. ‘What is it counting down to?’ he
thought anxiously. He swallowed thickly and glanced to his other hand, which
was still clasped over Raito’s. ‘Kira.’ He set the watch down and lifted his
hand from the brunette’s. He wanted to get away from Raito just as badly as he
wanted to be comforted by him. ‘Was he Kira the whole time? Was I tricked?’ He
leaned back, glancing to the chain between them. ‘I can’t get away. Am I
chained to Raito or Kira?’


Ryuuzaki winced and glanced at the brunette.

Raito opened his eyes, “Don’t let go.”

Nodding, Ryuuzaki fixed his hands over Raito’s again,

Raito could feel Ryuuzaki’s nervousness in his ready-to-flee
position. His eyebrows knit together in guilt. “Please… Ryuuzaki, you have to
be strong.”

‘For both of us? It’s hard enough to steady myself, Raito,’
he thought, peeking at the brunette.

Raito looked up to the other boy. “I don’t have any more
hidden note. Take the book. The rules state I’ll forget again once I let go.”

“Rules? Forget again?” Ryuuzaki whispered.

“Kira’s memories leave me when I forfeit the note,” Raito
replied. “As of yet, I haven’t claimed it as my own again. If I let go, I’ll
forget.” He looked to Ryuuzaki pleadingly. ‘Please, Ryuuzaki, take the note;
anything to keep you from fearing me.’

“You truly weren’t Kira, then?” Ryuuzaki gave a small smile;
his hold over Raito’s hands strengthened. “Not when it mattered,” he clarified
as the brunette opened his mouth to object. “Not when we were together.”

Raito smiled for a second. “Right. Not when it mattered…” He
looked down to the book. “Ryuuzaki, handcuff me. Weave the chain between and
around my wrists. Do you understand? Make the chain useless. Then take the
notebook away and-”

“I can’t do that to you, Raito.”

“Damn it, I’m trying to protect you.” Raito avoided his eyes
in shame. “I swore I would.”

“If I take it away, you’ll forget, and then what? Wake up
bound without explanation? If I tell you you’re Kira, how likely is it you’ll
believe me?” Ryuuzaki smiled and pressed closer, “You’ll just yell at me.”

Raito laughed despite himself. He quickly sobered up and bit
his lip. “Ryuuzaki, no. You have to do it. I don’t…trust myself. I’ve…I’ve

“You want to forget?”

Raito blinked. “I…don’t want gaps in my past anymore,” he
answered truthfully. “But I don’t want you to see me as Kira…” He mumbled,
“Although it’s a bit late for that.”

Ryuuzaki lifted his right hand from the book and Raito

“Don’t let go-”

He soothed the brunette with a kiss to the forehead. “It’s not
fair that I’m the only one who has to be strong, Raito.”

Nodding, Raito apologized. He let the boy remove his left
hand from the book, watching Ryuuzaki in confusion when his hand was left to
hover, empty. He quickly placed his hand firmly over Ryuuzaki’s knee. Raito
watched Ryuuzaki pull back the cover. He closed his eyes and rested his head on
the detective’s shoulder when the boy leaned closer.

Ryuuzaki let his head dip to rest against the brunette’s. He
waited until Raito had calmed. “I have questions concerning the note,” he said
quietly. “If you want to let go of the book now, I’ll have to ask them all
now.” Raito nodded his understanding, but didn’t give an answer. “I’m tempted
to try something,” he said before he ripped a small piece of paper from a
random page, rolling it into a tiny ball.

Raito opened his eyes, drawing back slightly as Ryuuzaki
offered the torn paper to his lips.

“The undesired result would be that you would have to take
hold of the note again once you let go. I’ll be here if that happens, and you
won’t have to face the memories so unexpectedly,” Ryuuzaki smiled reassuringly.

Quickly understanding Ryuuzaki’s experiment, Raito opened
his mouth. Once the piece of note was placed on this tongue, he closed his
mouth and swallowed.


“Yes,” Raito replied quietly.

Ryuuzaki slipped his empty hand between the notebook and
Raito’s hand until only the boy’s fingertips were touching the cover. “Ready?”

Raito nodded and they both pulled away. The book fell,
slapping the floor loudly in the hushed space.

“Raito?” Ryuuzaki leaned toward him, keeping the boy’s hand
clasped between his own.

“It worked,” he whispered.

Ryuuzaki smiled. “Good.” He opened his arms for Raito when
the brunette moved closer.

A long beat of silence followed the successful test. Raito
buried his face into Ryuuzaki’s shirt, hugging tighter.

“You mentioned rules earlier.”

Raito nodded.

“Tell me all of the rules; without opinion.”

Raito pointed to the book, “The base rules are written…” He
shifted in the boy’s arms as the book was retrieved. He let Ryuuzaki begin,
admitting to the fake rules before the boy read too far, knowing Ryuuzaki would
memorize the writing before him. Ryuuzaki set the book down wordlessly.

Recalling the occurrences during the first half of Kira’s
appearance, Ryuuzaki connected and explained both the strange happenings and
the rules in turn. During his wordless musings, Raito spoke up. The brunette
further explained vague rules, tightening his hold gradually.

Raito could feel his tension returning as he relieved Kira’s
experiences. He unsuccessfully fought against overwhelming negativity. He bit
his lip as he reached the rule that condemned him as a user. “Do you believe in
heaven and hell?”

For a moment, Ryuuzaki was thrown by the question regarding
religion. He pulled out of his role of attentive listener. “Heaven?”

“I can’t go. Ryuku said, said I couldn’t. He’ll write my
name, and I…don’t go to either heaven or hell.”


“He’ll write in his book…”

“There are more notebooks?”

“There are countless amounts, from what I understand, in the
world of shinigami. I know of three here.”

“A third?”

Raito sighed. “Yes. Ryuku always has one on him. I think
it’s his original.”

“So you possessed two?” Ryuuzaki glanced at the book. ‘Where
is the other?’

“No, one belonged to Misa.”

“I was right again? The second Kira… Where is the other
book, Raito?”

Raito glanced away and muttered to himself, “Remu… Will Remu
write Misa’s name? Is Misa excused from the punishment? There has to be a way


“Ryuuzaki, what have I done? When Father learns of it… I’m a
disappointment to him.” Raito rushed on, voice shaky and uneven in volume. “I’m
evil, Ryuuzaki. If I forfeit the note again, will Ryuku leave me alone? I have
to talk to Remu. Remu always answers my questions.” He shot up, toppling over
Ryuuzaki when the boy didn’t let go of his hand.

“Ryuku? Remu?” Ryuuzaki pulled Raito closer when the brunette
tried to distance himself again. “Raito, I won’t let anyone write your name; no
one will kill you.” Raito tried to free himself and Ryuuzaki held tighter.
“Wait. I don’t understand. Relax, Raito-kun.”

“What have I done?” he repeated, eyes unfocused. “No ideal
is worth what I’ve done. It’s impossible to change human nature; there will
always be criminals. Was I truly foolish enough to try for a utopia? Idiot…
I’ve ended so many lives. I’ve thrown away everything. I’m a murderer.”

Ryuuzaki listened worriedly as the brunette panicked to
himself. He called the boy’s name and didn’t receive a response.

“I have to talk to Remu. She’ll have answers. There
has to be away. Can she undo it? She’ll know.” He tugged free of Ryuuzaki.

Ryuuzaki sprang forward for the brunette. He pinned Raito to
the floor of the helicopter violently. “You’re not leaving, Raito.”

Raito’s breath hitched and his eyes cleared to see Ryuuzaki
struggling with emotion above him.

“Just…wait a minute.”

He opened his mouth to insist upon seeing Remu.

“No! Stop! Damn it, Raito! Stop!”

The usually calm boy’s shouting shocked Raito and he snapped
his mouth shut.

Ryuuzaki bit his lip. “Wait…” He pinched the bridge of his
nose. “What are you going on about? Heaven and hell?”

Raito stared at the other, working his jaw nervously. “Do
you believe?”

“In religion? I wasn’t reared under any religion. I’ve
studied any I could, however.”

Raito continued to stare in anticipation.

Ryuuzaki continued when he realized it was what the brunette
wanted. “They all have different takes on death. The soul has many options,” he
smiled. “Heaven, hell, reincarnation, greater consciousness, nothingness,
haunting. The list is endless.”

Raito continued to stare.

He glanced to the book again. “It’s quite a large claim the
book is making, stating the user cannot enter heaven or hell; that would imply
that any religion which denies the existence of either place is a false belief.
Or perhaps it’s stating heaven and hell do not exist.” Ryuuzaki turned back to
Raito. “How can you go somewhere that doesn’t exist?” He smiled. “The rules are
written in English. The majority of those who speak English believe in heaven
and hell, Raito-kun.”

Raito was still listening intently.

“It’s quite possible we all go to a paradise - shared or not
- regardless of actions performed in our lives, for we all suffer whether is
physically, mentally, spiritually; paradise would be a nice method of relief
from that suffering, right? It’s also possible we all become part of a greater
consciousness. Or perhaps you and I are living with borrowed souls, Raito.
Reincarnation is not limited to the physical alone.” He sighed, “There’s no
clear proof of a soul to begin with, Raito. You can’t dismiss the possibility
that once you die, you’re dead. Religion is a means to cope with loss, as well
as defend and or prevent behavior. It’s the ‘opium of the people,’ and it
cannot be proven. It gives people purpose and comfort. Life raises countless
questions concerning morals; religion is an effort to explain it all. People
naturally seek guidance.”

Raito nodded in thought, eyes locked with the detective’s,
still pinned beneath the other. “And your claimed belief…?”

“I seek guidance through facts, Raito-kun. That is natural,
considering my field of work. To let religion, any religion – an idea
– control one’s thought process and behaviors deprives us of natural will,
conscious choice. Ethics, ‘the ego’, cannot be carelessly linked with religion;
most if not all religions fight against human trait and tendencies, whether
you’re watched over by one god, or many, or looking after inanimate objects
which hold spirits. Morals must be understood and experienced to be of any use,
and they must be personal; religion is based on them, of course, but to ensure
morality through the reinforcement theory with something as heavy as eternal
bliss or damnation is questionable.” Ryuuzaki glanced away for a moment. He
turned back and said, “I don’t claim a religion, as none can be proven. I do,
however, prefer several of the theories provided by various religions to
others. Still, with so many borrowed theories, I wouldn’t be able to categorize
my ‘belief’ under one named religion.”

“You…can’t reject religion so easily… It has more meaning
than that. And I only… Well, now that I have you, I…” Raito looked away in
embarrassment, “I don’t want my punishment to separate us…”

Nothing could take you away from me, remember,
Raito-kun? You promised.” Ryuuzaki smiled. “Though, it’s not really your
choice, is it?” His confidence quickly returned as he formed a plan. He slipped
away and snatched up the notebook, dragging his laptop case to him in the same
stretch. “How far have they’ve gotten in questioning Higuchi?” he wondered
aloud. He flipped the book open, eyes widening at the mass amount of inked
names. “He was more busy than we knew.” He found a blank page, reaching into
his case for a ballpoint pen.

“What are you…” Raito growled, “No. Don’t.”

“You can’t avoid your fate, but I can join you.”

“No. Wait. If I talk to Remu…”

Ryuuzaki ignored him, clicking the pen to usefulness.

Raito lunged for the notebook. “No, Ryuuzaki!”

Smirking, he easily lifted his foot and rolled back to toss
Raito over his head. He moved with Raito to keep the chain from hurting either
one of them before the tip of the pen met the page. He pressed himself flush to
the floor as Raito jumped to tackle him. The brunette consequently overshot his
mark and Ryuuzaki let his cuffed hand move with the brunette. He quickly finished
the first character of Kyosuke Higuchi’s name. He pictured the man having a
heart attack, wondering morbidly if the man would scream.

“Damn it,” Raito screamed, finally grabbing the infuriating
boy. He was suddenly lying facedown, arms pinned beneath his own weight as
Ryuuzaki sat squarely over him. “Ryuuzaki! Stop!”

Ryuuzaki finished up, deciding that no, Higuchi would not
scream. “Alright. I’ll stop.”

Raito sighed in relief, resting his forehead against the
floor. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Quite a lot, honestly.”

Raito sighed again. “Get off.” His headset was skewed, but
it didn’t prevent him from hearing the emergency tone. All headsets sparked to
life, allowing simultaneous speech. Matsuda must have been the one to initiate
it, as his voice was the first to ring clearly over the connection.

“Higuchi is dead!”

Raito’s blood froze.

“Dead?” Ryuuzaki asked in carefully feigned surprise.

The detective’s voice echoed within the cabin as well as in
his head. ‘You…?’ Raito pushed off the floor forcefully; Ryuuzaki fell at the
unexpected move.

“Was he shot,” Soichiro demanded. “Who shoot him? Why?”

“No one! He just died!” Matsuda cried back.

Ryuuzaki moved to sit in a more comfortable position,
leaving the book where he’d dropped it.

Raito glared at the clam boy. “Now what?”

“I don’t know,” Matsuda said, voice panicky. “Hospital?”

Raito had been addressing Ryuuzaki and rolled his eyes when
Matsuda had answered instead. “Yes. Go.”

“Keep us updated,” Ryuuzaki ended the conversation, breaking
the emergency line.

Raito pulled his headset off, smoothing back his hair. He
refused to look at Ryuuzaki. Instead, he bent over to pick up the notebook. It
opened in his hands to the page Ryuuzaki had been working on. The boy’s tiny
writing was neat and precise. He shook his head.

Ryuuzaki played with the pen in his hand in simple
amusement, flicking and twirling the thin cylinder. Raito finally looked to him
and Ryuuzaki beamed. “It works fast. Now we’re the same?”

“You…I… Ryuuzaki…”

“Yeah, that’s all of us…plus another one of me. That would be
interesting, wouldn’t it?” He laughed lightly.

“You…” Raito sighed again, “Damn.” He tossed the book aside
and put his head in his hands. “How do we explain this? Don’t you think it’s going to be a bit
obvious? We’re the only ones with the note.” Raito growled. “My father will see
through it. I didn’t want him to know.”

“We could blame the second Kira.”

Raito stared in silence.

“No? I think it would work. We’ll have to play the part. Or
find a third Kira. Would it be the fourth Kira? Wait, I’m the fourth. A fifth,
then? At any rate, I don’t want Misa to have her book back.”

Raito’s jaw fell open.

“Or…if you prefer, I can take the blame. I’ll claim I was
curious, which I was.”

Raito sighed, “Could I have my watch back?”

“Are you going to kill me, Raito-kun?”

“Only if you kill me first.”

“I don’t think it would work.”

“It could be another one of your experiments,” Raito
retorted angrily, swinging his headset once around his index finger before
letting it clatter to the floor.

Ryuuzaki moved to the dropped notebook and ripped a segment
from the previously torn page. He quickly ate it.

“What the hell are you doing now?”

“Raito, you killed Higuchi.” Remu suddenly pushed into the
helicopter through the craft’s wall.

“No,” Raito growled, glancing at the shinigami.

“I forfeit the note,” Ryuuzaki chimed in, staring at the
shinigami. He blinked as a sense of déjŕ vu struck while the brief memory of
having used the note vanished, and the piece inside of him went to work. He
smirked at the unusual sensation. Taking in details of the otherworldly being,
Ryuuzaki tilted his head. His fingers continued to twirl the pen at his side.

“You have everything figured out, don’t you?” Raito blew his
bangs out of his face.

“L? L killed? Hm…” Remu collected the unclaimed note before
glancing to Raito’s watch knowingly.

The brunette took his watch from the other boy and opened it,
relinquishing the scrap of paper to the shinigami.

Ryuuzaki leaned over curiously, taking the pin when Raito
offered it to him. He opened his hand for the wristwatch when Raito was done,
and played with the intriguing, delicate opening system, pin between his lips,
pen braced between his fingers. He glanced to the shinigami when it spoke up

“If your plan failed, don’t be mad with me.”

Ryuuzaki took in the creature’s angry features and turned to
look at Raito to find the brunette glaring.

“No. I know.” He shook his head and quickly explained,
“Ryuuzaki has me worried…” He ended defensively, “I didn’t fail.”

“You failed.”


“If you’ve failed Misa, I’ll kill you.”

“Wait.” Ryuuzaki slid the pin into the watch and closed it a
final time. He defensively stepped next to Raito, placing himself closest to
the shinigami. “What?”

“He promised Misa’s safety.”

“Raito-kun holds true to his promises.”

“Misa is safe?”

“Yes. If you promise to leave Raito alone, I’ll agree to any
conditions you have concerning Misa.”


Remu looked at the detective questioningly, and mulled over
the authority the boy held in the human world. She took in the boy’s strong
posture and body language that offered the brunette reassurance. “He will avoid
punishment, won’t he?”

“Yes,” Ryuuzaki replied immediately.

Raito pressed closer the other boy. “Ryuuzaki?”

“Misa must be allowed the same.”


Remu nodded. Turning to Raito she said, “The other note?”

“Take it. I’m done. Misa is done.” He elbowed Ryuuzaki none
too gently, adding, “Ryuuzaki is done.”

“Ryuku won’t be pleased.”

“He’ll have to find his entertainment somewhere else.”

Remu shrugged. She looked to L again.

“Misa will be safe.” He blinked once and the shinigami was

Raito wrapped his arms around Ryuuzaki, pulling the boy
close. “Now can I have my watch?”

“Can I keep stuff in it?” He slipped it over his wrist.

“How is it you can think clearly?” Raito asked jealously,
pulling away. He let Ryuuzaki wear the silver watch.

“I’m used to the confusing blur of thoughts,” came his
honest answer. He moved to his laptop and turned it on. “Start documenting your
experiences as Kira.” He settled into the pilot’s seat and waited for the brunette
to get settled.


“Starting from the day you picked it up,” Ryuuzaki replied,
“to this very day. I’ll go after you.” Ryuuzaki prepared the craft for take off
and as soon as they gained lift he smiled at the brunette. “Once the note works through
our systems, we’ll forget, right? I’ll need documentation.”

Raito laughed skeptically, typing speedily. “And where will
I save this? In your file tilted Shit I’ll Never Believe, Ever?”

Ryuuzaki grinned. “I record each case; it helps me define
behavioral patterns common of criminals. Are we going to tell Misa?”

“I’m more concerned about my father.”

“Higuchi’s death? Well, we’ll forget soon… We could stay
ignorant of the fact, and guess along with the rest of the team.”

“I’m not entirely sure I’ll forget what you did; it wasn’t
me who wrote his name. And what about your Shit You’ll Never Believe file?
You’ll see it eventually. Will I?”

“If you want to read it, I’ll let you. I’ll need to leave a
note for myself.”

“You act as if you’ve done this before,” Raito mumbled. He
continued to type, still listing the rules as he had come to experience them.

“Some days are less organized than others.”

Raito glanced over questioningly.

“If I pay enough attention, I find I think while I think.”
He smiled when Raito mumbled in confusion. “I mean…it’s…there are constant
background thoughts, and then there are foreground thoughts. And as much as I
want to, I can’t stop the background thoughts, so I’ll have to focus even
harder to complete the foreground thoughts, which usually causes my muttering
that you tease me about. Even when I’m not trying to think, I’m thinking.
Meditation helps, but only slightly. Anyway, when it gets to be too much, I
have to leave notes for myself because the thoughts move too fast. That laptop
you have now was a gift from Watari – he was tired of scrubbing the walls clean
from my scrawled, penned notes to myself.” He frowned as irrelevant thoughts he
had written to himself years past resurfaced to clash against his current,
important Kira thoughts. “It’s starting to get cluttered again.”

The detective lapsed into a silent stare, and Raito frowned.
He placed his hand over the boy’s knee and continued to type with his free
hand. “Focus on getting us back to headquarters.”





I’m glad I could lighten your day!! Thanks for reading and



Yay updates!! I’ll try to update more often… -coughs in



I’m glad the chapter impressed you; I’ve been getting mixed
reviews for the role of Raito (seme and uke), so I guess I’ll continue to play
around with ideas. Thanks for the review!



Haha, well at least you’re enjoying ^^. Thanks for reading!



Thanks for being anti-lazy and reviewing! I’m glad you liked
both versions. And sorry about the exaggeration – I wasn’t aware ^^;; Thank you
for sharing, though. Usually I try to look into the things I write about. Maybe
if I had spent a little more time on a visual description, it wouldn’t have
seemed as thought Ryuuzaki had been bleeding torrents. I’ll continue with the
double-post method, and hopefully I’ll be able to keep the versions similar to
their origins. You take care, too!



Thanks! I’m glad you like it! You’re one of the few to
actually pick a version! –throws confetti- Looking back, I think I like the
first version a little better, as well. But the second version is too fun to
ignore. At any rate, I’ll continue with both.



Hi ^^ Hehe, love, hm? That’s definitely a step up from
‘like.’ I’m glad you love the story! Thanks for checking out the sketch, too!
Just by reading the first line in your review, I could tell you would enjoy
version two more. They were definitely more fun in the second version; I love
writing dialog for them.



Another clear-cut answer! Thank you! Though I hope the
review wasn’t short and sweet because you’re bored…



Thank you! You’re the first to tell me ^^ His name is fun.



I’m happy to share ^^ Thank you for reviewing. It’s fun when
readers have a favorite selection from a chapter.



Hey!! Um…occ? I’m not aware of any acronym…(at least not any
that fit). Do you mean ooc? Or maybe ocd? Several readers have cried ooc. I’ve
tried to keep him in character – though I can’t be completely empathetic with
the detective. If you meant ocd: he’s an eccentric, and one who doesn’t let go
of something (e.g. a case) once he grabs it, so I only figured his paranoia and
behavior would be amplified, simply because of who he is. The boy spends most of
his time in his head; I’m sure he’s never completely aware of his own actions.
Yay DN movie! I love it. I’ve been watching the anime, too.



Haha, personal taste totally fits, of course. Wow, NEVER
end? ^^ I suppose we can run with it as long as we can. Thanks for the
confidence!! I’m tempted to try the fan manga now. And your story is
wonderful!! Your speed at updating makes me look horribly lazy, however…



Oh, not all endings have to be horrible… Haha and yes, that
would be the perfect ending, I’m sure ^^ We’ll I’m trying. The story is picking
up in interesting directions now. If the response is good, I’ll happily



Wow, that’s pretty much…all the options that require effort…
^^;; I don’t really want to let it end, either. And thanks for the interest in
my sketches!! Haha, wow, that’s a lot of ego-stroking –coughs- I’d like to stay
within Death Note. We’ll see. (I’m such a procrastinator I fear I’d lose



Yay for first reviews!! Thanks ^^ Haha I’d hate to have my
writing be pointless… I’m glad I’ve avoided that cruel fate. Thanks for the
vote of confidence! I’ll think about starting another.



Haha ^^ another NEVER end response. Thank you! I like fluffy
Raito and L.



Yay updates!! Sorry for the wait… Haha ^^ Happy dance. Wow,
so supportive!! Thank you!



NEVER end strikes again! Yes, panic-attacks can be very
interesting, and I’m all for the H/C aspect ^^



NEVER end = loved by all, it seems. Hm, sequel…



Emailed ya ^^



When DN ended? Yes, sad… This story isn’t over, yet, if
that’s what you thought… I plan on another chapter after this one, too ^^


The w00t Girl,

Thank you!! Haha ^^ I see. Yes I think version two is longer
for this chapter too. Interesting…


Ok! So. We have direction now. Though I’m still a strong
procrastinator. I’ll be posting Christmas sketches soon! Keep an eye open for
them. Next chapter will be up…soon…? Sorry…


Thanks for reading!!!

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