Matt x Mello

BY : Genevieve
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 8296
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

“Don’t stop.”

It’s L. He’s not looking at Matt because, for once, his eyes are closed, and his delicate fingertips are lightly clawing at the carpet and his soft hair frames him in a dark cascade, slowly pouring over the side of his face and onto the floor, and it’s something neither Matt nor Mello had ever witnessed before, and it dawns on Matt that he actually likes it, and until now Matt has been so busy trying to do what L said and trying not to focus on what Mello might think and also on not hurting L, and it hasn’t even crossed his mind that maybe what he’s doing is actually something that L likes.

“Oh..!” Matt replies, trying to remember not to hold L’s legs too tightly, “y—you like it?”

Eyes still closed, L actually laughs, and he nods slowly,

“Yes, I like it.”

And Mello actually isn’t going to call Matt a dumbass, because Mello, himself, is stunned to find that L likes it—not because he thinks Matt might not be good—on the contrary, Mello knows that Matt is good—but rather because neither of them has really thought that L is doing this for any reason other than compassion for them.

Matt is suddenly overcome with affection, and, all at once, he leans down closer to L and wraps his arms around the slender neck and kisses him, and, stiffening in surprise, L waits patiently until he’s finished and then, staring up, he mumbles,

“I asked Matt-kun not to stop.”

“I—sorry..!” the boy replies, moving away a bit and trying nervously to start again, but he’s smiling sheepishly, he can’t help it, and he’s weirdly proud of himself because not only did L let him do it, but he actually liked it.

And for a moment he considers turning around and sticking his tongue out at Mello, but he also thinks of something else.

“L,” he says quietly, “did you love Kira?”

It’s a simple question, and also a ridiculous one, Matt thinks, because no doubt they hated one another and really they wanted to kill one another, but as stupid as it sounds to Matt when it leaves his lips, he knows its been on both his and Mello’s mind ever since L had brought this up.

“Matt-kun and Mello-kun are very interested in this subject.”

Matt nods, and now Mello thinks he’s a dumbass, but really, he, too, would like to know.

L’s smile fades, and he’s quiet for a long time before answering,

“In many ways I did,” he says softly, “Light was a very interesting person.”

“Light,” Matt replies, “it sounds like you were close.”

L nods, eyes turned away as he thinks.

“That’s right. We worked together for a long time.”

“Worked together?”

“It’s complicated.”

“What, um—“ Matt tries to change the subject, “—what did he look like?”

Dark eyes turn back to gaze at him, and L smiles.

“That’s a strange question.”


L grows quiet again, and then he smiles and replies simply,

“A little bit like you, actually.”

Matt stops all at once, staring back in complete surprise.

Mello, who has been listening with a great deal of interest, is stunned, as well, and also he’s mad now, because what was L getting at with all the I don’t think Mello wants to play Kira when all along—

“Please don’t let this bother you,” L says quietly, “Light wasn’t really like Matt-kun at all.”

This, of course, makes things worse, and Matt and Mello actually exchange bewildered glances, and then L’s eyelids lower partway and he looks up at Matt in irritation,

“You stopped again.”

“Ah—“ Matt flips his head back, dumbfounded and speechless, and because he doesn’t know what to say in response, he starts again .

“L,” comes Mello’s voice, low and serious, “did—did he love you back?”

Mello…!” Matt whispers in disbelief, this time remembering not to stop, and even though he feels embarrassed about what his friend asked, he can’t deny that he, himself, is interested.

Gazing up at the ceiling, L is very calm when he replies,

“I don’t think Light ever loved anyone.”

He doesn’t seem sad or heartbroken or bothered, he merely stares into space as if deep in speculation, like this is as amusing and interesting to him as any other strange idea.

“That’s a pretty name,” Mello says suddenly, “His name was Light, just like that?”

L gazes in Mello’s direction, eyebrows raised, and after a moment, he replies,

“Yes. And yes, it is pretty.”

Mello nods, and he understands that probably Light, himself, was pretty, and he wonders whether L thought he was pretty and how much he actually looked like Matt.

As if reading his mind, L smiles at Mello,

“Oh, he was very beautiful. Everyone thought so.”

It’s strange to hear, because neither of them has ever heard L speak of someone that way, but it comes more as a general fact than personal opinion.

And after that they are all deep in thought, and that’s good because it helps Matt concentrate on trying to do it in a way that he thinks L would like and that wouldn’t be too harsh and wouldn’t hurt too much, and he wonders if L is sad, and he thinks it must have hurt that L loved someone who wanted to kill him, but he understands that L is unique and that for him it was probably good because L thought that Light was interesting, and for L it’s good when things are interesting.

He wonders if L thinks that he and Mello are interesting, and then he understands why Mello writes and investigates things for L with such careful attention and enthusiasm—Mello knows that L is driven by interest in problem-solving and, really, when something catches his interest, he attends to it with complete focus and genuine love.

“I—“ he says softly, hair swaying as he continues moving, “I can’t imagine that Kira didn’t love you.”

It comes quiet and filled with simple honesty, and L says nothing in response and merely continues gazing up at the younger boy.

It’s impossible not to love L.

And it’s become impossible for Matt to be jealous that Mello loved L, because he thinks he loves L, too.

He says nothing more as he continues moving, until, eventually, he feels that he’s going to finish soon, so, very quietly, he murmurs, “I—um—I’m gonna—and, uh, Mello—usually—likes that—“

“Oh, you idiot,” Mello interjects, “don’t you freaking dare, I will seriously kick your ass if you even think of—“

“Uh—um, okay, so—“

“Just finish the way you’re going now, don’t do anything stupid, Matt…”

L’s eyes dart from one boy to the other and back, and neither one of them bothers explaining because, even if L didn’t probably already know everything, this isn’t something he needs to worry about anyway, and even if it was very hot when Mello and Matt took turns humiliating and degrading each other by competing to see which one of them can out-perv the other by pulling out and finishing sex in the messiest and dirtiest way, just what kind of moron was Matt for thinking even for a second that that’s something he could do to the precious, sacred—

Actually, that would be very hot, Mello thinks for just the briefest of moments, and then he blushes immediately for thinking it

But Matt doesn’t do anything stupid, he merely grasps harder at L’s thigh and, with his other hand, at the carpet, and, eyes closed and lips parted and hair swinging, he moves faster, and even though Mello can’t see his face behind the rapid swing of his hair, he can hear them both breathing, fast exhalation and slow inhalation and silence and fast exhalation and slow inhalation and silence and—

And finally it’s over and Matt’s head hangs forth, shoulders rising and falling with the quiet exhaustion that follows, and, after a few moments he kneels down and reaches around L with trembling arms and, still not pulling out, buries his face in his neck and he thinks he might fall asleep, and Mello watches with strange curiosity as the white arms come around Matt’s back and brush softly, and Matt can think of a hundred things he wants to say,

I liked it too

And thank you

And I understand now, Mello

And this must have been really frustrating, Mello

And I love you, L

And I love you, Mello

And many other things, both coherent and incoherent and both sensible and not so sensible, and ultimately he says nothing—

But L knows.

So he allows Matt to hold him and kiss him and marvel at how precious and delicate he must think he is, and when he’s finished and he finally pulls out, L rises to his knees, and, smiling kindly at Matt, he stands and walks toward Mello.

The blonde looks up in surprise and amusement, and L is very tall and thin and completely naked and white, and, without a word or any kind of warning, he leans in and kisses Mello, hard and slow and hot, and Mello, who was completely unprepared for this, feels his entire body go hot and limp and only the chains hold him up now, and for a few seconds he thinks he doesn’t exist at all and that this isn’t really happening and oh my God, that’s L, that’s really L, that’s-

“Well then, Mello-kun,” comes the quiet voice, low and composed as ever,

“Shall we get started?”

To be continued…

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