Music of My Soul

BY : ReadtoEscape
Category: Wei▀ Kreuz > Yaoi - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 1198
Disclaimer: I dont own Weiss kreuz, Ran, Yohji, or any of the guys. I write/post for my own enjoyment. No profit is made. Well, except the stress relief of writing it, & the warm fuzzies I get if you like it. But as those are intangibles,


As the group entered under the concerned, quickly averted gazes of the other families waiting in the emergency room, Yuushi and Aya stepped forward. Nagi remained quietly in the background near the complimentary coffee. Omi made his way over, putting an arm around Nagi’s waist, taking a cup of coffee with a soft smile as Ran brought a pale, shaking, red eyed Aya into his arms. He buried his face into the top of her head as the conversation continued around them.

“Anything?” Ken asked Yuushi quietly. “No” Yu sighed, a hand raking through his blonde hair. “They told me it’d be best to take Aya home and keep an eye on her but-“

He was cut off as Ran’s head snapped up and his glare paralyzed any further words in Yuushi’s throat. “Aya?” he snapped, his hold tightening around her as her trembling increased, “what’s wrong with Aya?” Ran rasped.

Jei’s hand came to rest on Ran’s shoulder. “She’s fine Ran” he said calmly as Yuushi nodded, “She went into a little shock at the scene. We...” Jei’s voice cracked, and he cleared his throat before going on, “we all saw the – the crash.”

Ran’s eyes flew wide and he looked around to the faces surrounding him, “you... you saw?” he whispered. Aya’s shaking had slowed, and at the raw pain in Ran’s voice at the question, her arms came up until she held his biceps. She leaned back a bit, causing Ran to look down into her eyes, streaming as she cried silently.

“Ran” she whispered, “Yohji... Yohji was...” she shook her head. “they wouldn’t let me see” her eyes got a faraway look as she went on. “After the.... car, I – I was afraid he.... but, he’s gonna be ok” her gaze refocused on Ran’s if a little frantically. “The nurse, she .... she helped me, she brought me coffee, and blankets, and..... She said, she said he’ll be ok. He’s hurt Ran, but, he’s gonna be ok” she leaned into his chest again, wrapping her arms tightly about his waist, “he flew so far Ran” she sobbed now, “god! I was so scared.... and he was so still.... so quiet. Even when Omi tied the belt on his leg-“

Schuldig stepped forward now. All eyes were on Ran who’d gone impossibly pale and was now shaking himself. “Aya,” Schu said quietly, easing Ran’s hold on her, focusing her attention on his own face, desperate to get her to stop talking, “Shh Aya. It’s ok.” He spoke calmly, slowly. “Yuushi’s gonna take you home now sweetheart. The medicine they gave you is gonna make you tired. You know Yohji’s gonna recover, so you go on home with Yu and let him take care of you. We’ll call as soon as we know something.”

Schu raised pleading eyes to Yuushi. Knowing Yu would want to be there to hear for himself Yohji’s condition, but determined to get her out of here, right now. Yu nodded and stepped forward. “Aya love, come on. Let me take you home. Get you warm. After you’ve slept a bit we’ll come back, ok? Come on” he coaxed her from Ran’s unresisting embrace, concerned as much for the ashen faced red head as for his own little princess.

Schu stepped forward to take Ran’s hands into his own, forcing Ran to look at him. “Ran” he said firmly as Yuushi led a subdued, pliant Aya away. “Ran. I swear. It sounds bad, and I won’t lie, he’s hurt. But.... it’s fixable. They wouldn’t lie about that. Do you hear me Ran?” Schu searched Ran’s face for clarity. Jei and Ken stepped up from each side, and Brad came up behind to form a cocoon around Ran. Finally the warmth penetrated and Ran searched out Schu’s eyes. “Schuldig?” he asked quietly.

“I promise Ran. Fixable. The doctors should be coming soon. At this point, no news is good news. If, if it were too desperate they would have asked for decisions before now.”

Ran nodded, taking a deep breath, running his hands over his face. Omi came forward then. “Here Ran.” He placed a warm cup into Ran’s hands, “Sit down, take a deep breath. I’ll see if I can get something out of the nurses. I already got some of the paperwork started.” Ran glanced up at Omi as he sat on the bench they lowered him to “Thank you Omi.” He said quietly.

Omi nodded and made his way to the admissions desk to turn in the first portion of the endless paperwork. After a few moments, enough time that Ran had finished his coffee, just as Omi had returned from the desk near the entrance, the double doors at the end of the room opened. A haggard looking man came into the room, mask dangling from his neck, scrubs rumpled and smeared with blood, hair net hat in one hand. “Family of Kudoh?” he asked, scanning the room.

Seven men stood as one as a few gasps of recognition sounded around the room. The other patrons seeming to realize and recognize the group that they’d instinctively given the privacy of fellow sufferers moments before. The doctor’s eyes lit upon the group and a light of recognition made him step forward. “Mr. Fello? Misters Crawford?” he asked. As Jei stepped to the forefront, a soft voice was heard from across the room, “It IS Weiss.....” someone whispered.

“Gentlemen.” The doctor intoned solemnly. “You came in with Mr. Kudoh, did you not?” Ran’s blood ran ice cold in his veins at the obvious fatigue and air of ..... warning, that emanated from the doctor. “Yohji” Ran rasped, unable to stop himself. “please.... doctor”

The doctor turned his gaze to Ran, “and you are?” he asked quietly. “Ran F-“ Ran began but Schuldig stepped in.

“This is Ran, Yohji’s partner. If you check your database you’ll find a few names listed as next of kin, emergency contacts. Aside from Ran, you’ll find Yohji’s bandmates,” he gestured to the men anxiously surrounding them, “and myself, Schuldig, now Crawford. Jei Fello and Ken Hidaka gave information to the EMTs on scene, and Omi Tsukiyono filled out some paperwork already. We understand the EMTs may have been overly cautious in their prognosis due to the excessive bleeding at the scene” Ran moaned, “please doctor. Tell us something.... please, say Yohji’s alright.”

The doctor glanced around the avid faces of the group, then glanced around the room now obviously aware of the conversation. He sighed. “Given the severity and nature of Mr. Kudoh’s injuries, and the sensitive nature of his... employment, perhaps we should take this elsewhere, somewhere more discreet.” He stopped. “I believe there were others with your group?” He asked.

Jei answered, “The others have gone home. We all.... witnessed the injury. A young woman with us was overcome. She’s been taken home to rest.”

“Very well.” The doctor said. “Follow me.” He turned back to the double doors but was stopped by Ran’s hand shooting out to grab his arm. “Wait” Ran’s breathless cry tore from his heart. “Wait, please. Just.... Please.” He took a deep breath, ran his other hand through his hair and visibly collected himself. “Please.” His voice was slightly more steady now. “Just tell me he’ll be ok. Just..... tell me you’re not taking us back there to....”

The doctor recognized the early shock, the grief threatening to overwhelm Ran. His compassion welled and compelled him to step forward. He took Ran by the shoulders. “Mr. Kudoh is out of danger now. He is seriously injured, but he is in recovery and will not awaken for some time. At least a few hours. Let us take this apart from here and discuss the details of his injuries.”

He turned away and the group followed quietly, Schu and Jei each with a hand on Ran’s arms. Ran worked to get a grip on his terror, the numbness beginning to take over now. But, it didn’t escape his attention, nor Schuldig’s, that the Dr. didn’t say “he’ll be ok” he only said, “out of danger”

Ran began to steel himself for whatever the man was going to tell them. They entered a small quiet room with a medium sized table in the center of the room, soft chairs lined the walls, decorated in soothing shades of blue and grey. Thick, sound muffling carpet of a dark grey completed the look, and boxes of tissues were placed in strategic locations around the room. Ran took a deep breath and immediately wished he hadn’t. The hospital smells invaded his senses, bringing too many memories to mind. He stiffened, then shuddered

“ok?” Schu asked quietly, still holding Ran’s upper arm. He steered Ran toward the table and seated him at the chair the end of the side closest to the door. The Dr stood behind the seat at the end of the table, better to face the group. Schu sat next to Ran, sliding his hand down to grip Ran’s tightly without being asked. Brad sat at Schu’s left. Jei sat across from Ran, with Ken at his side. Omi and Nagi sat in the two chairs on the wall, close behind Schu and Brad.

A young nurse, petite with jet black hair, had led the group to the consultation room and now hovered in the doorway. “Nurse Jameson,” the doctor said, “Unless Mr. Kudoh awakes or there is some urgent problem, please do not disturb us.” He glanced around and turned back to her, “I would recommend preparations be made as well as we discussed earlier. I have noted transfer details in Mr. Kudoh’s chart.”

“Very well doctor.” She nodded and left, closing the door quietly. The doctor seated himself and took a deep breath and a sip from the water bottle the nurse had placed at his seat before leaving. As the doctor consulted the folder in front of him Ran again felt that nameless dread filling him. “Something is wrong” he whispered to Schu, unconsciously gripping his hand tighter. “There’s something he’s not saying.”

Ran kept his eyes locked on the doctor’s face. Dread growing, he could wait no longer, and leaned forward, “something is wrong,” he repeated louder, “What is it doctor? Something...” he snarled, eyes going cold, “tell me.” He demanded, “what is it?”

The doctor sighed and locked his gaze to Ran’s. “The EMTs were somewhat more dire than perhaps was warranted, given the amount of blood however, I understand their caution.” He ran a hand over his face, and looked around. “Mr. Kudoh was thrown from his motorcycle” his voice hardened on the word motorcycle, “luckily he landed on the hood of the car that clipped him before he fell to the pavement. Also, luckily, Mr. Kudoh had he sense to wear a helmet. Unluckily, his helmet strap apparently broke when he hit the hood, catching on some piece of metal or something. It didn’t tear completely loose, but appears that it was askew when he struck the pavement. This misalignment caused the edge of the helmet to cut into the back of his head. There was excessive bleeding below his right ear, as head wounds are want to do, and a loss of consciousness. A blessing given the several broken bones on his left side.”

The doctor stopped as a collective gasp/hiss filled the room. The doctor closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “forgive me. That came out worse than it could have.” He opened his eyes and began again. “Mr. Kudoh is seriously injured, but it could have been much, much worse.” He focused on Ran’s pale, stoic face. “He had a dislocated left shoulder, that has been remedied. He has four broken ribs on the left side, and a broken clavical. His knee was wrenched, but not torn or dislocated, only a severe sprain. His left lower leg and ankle are broken. Fortunately, the riding boots he wore effectively immobilized the joint with the swelling.”

He paused, “we had to cut the boot off. In my experience with bikers, this will not please him. However, he should be grateful. Due to the joint being immobilized within the boot, the injury was less severe than it could have been. His lower leg is very badly bruised, aside from the break. Had he not been wearing some effective protective gear he well could have lost the leg. There was one very serious laceration just below the knee that would have continued further down the leg had those boots not been as high as they were. Bye the way, the quick thinking of whichever of you applied the belt may well have saved his life. The artery was not severed, but it was nicked. This also was repaired in surgery.”

A breath, a sip from the water, and the doctor continued into the silence. “We surgically repaired the break, it will be a while, but he will regain full use of his leg, and he will walk again.” Ran’s eyes widened and he leaned forward, paler even than before. “The injury is that severe, he could have-“

“It very well could have been. But, again, Mr. Kudoh was very, very fortunate. He has no spinal injuries, and no neurological impairment of any serious significance.” He paused here and let that sink in. Then he leaned forward, intent. “Before you ask, let me allay your fears. There is a possibility of neurological damage, of a relatively minor nature. We know there is no visual impairment, or speech. There is minimal fluid and swelling, caused by the impact. Concussion, obviously. This may impact balance and or coordination for a time. But again, the bed rest that will be implicit with the fractures, and the obvious need for assistance for a time, should resolve this before it can actually be an issue.”

He stopped, taking a drink from his water bottle, letting the young men watching him so intently digest the injuries he’d covered so far. His gaze again settled on Ran, who’d never taken his eyes off the doctor. Ran knew, there was more.... “Tell me doctor.” Ran’s voice was hoarse in the quiet. “I know there is something else.... Tell me, please. No. Tell US. Whatever it is, tell us. We are all the family Yohji has. We need to know.”

The doctor sighed and rubbed his temples, obviously tired. He took a moment to look at each face, “there is... the possibility... of some memory loss. This is not uncommon following a head trauma. However, from my observation, this scenario may be a little more serious than not knowing what day it is, or what city you’re in. At this point it appears there is some amnesia. How severe, or the permanency is impossible to judge at this time. Obviously, he has not had much time awake when he was not in severe pain and disoriented. However, there was a period of time that he was aware on the trauma room before he was taken into surgery. One of the orderlies recognized him and mentioned his singing for a band, Weiss.”

He paused here, waiting for the others to nod, then he continued, quietly. “He did not seem to understand and appeared confused. He corrected the orderly that while he sings in a band with friends, it wasn’t called Weiss.” The gasps from Schu, Jei, Omi and Ken were loud and sharp. “Wh – what?” Ken asked.

“Again, his confusion may resolve quickly, but I wanted to prepare you should he not recognize some of you when he wakes.” The doctor trailed off, taking in the shocked faces. Again he focused on Ran who had gone yet even more pale, his grip on Schu’s hand so tight his knuckles were white. He trembled,  eyes huge, swallowing repeatedly, but unable to speak.

The doctor’s gaze softened. “If I may ask a few questions.” He said softly. Ran nodded, sharply, once. “You are his partner?” again Ran nodded, completely unable to speak around the ice gripping his heart. “Your name is Ran,” the doctor turned to Schu now, “and your name?” he asked.

“Schuldig.” Schu answered. “ah, Schuldig, perhaps Schu for short?”

“y –yes” Schu sputtered, “why?”

“That is the name Mr. Kudoh called out during his moments of lucidity, Schu. A few times he asked us to call Schu. You are a friend of some duration?”

“yes,” Schu answered. “Yohji and I have been friends since childhood.

“very well,” the doctor nodded. “Given the length of your friendship and his obviously knowing who you are, I would suggest you be the first to see him.

Ran’s breath hitched, and the doctor returned his eyes to Ran. He reached over to touch Ran’s hand. “Ran, the trauma could very well have caused Yohji to temporarily regress. It is not uncommon for adults to call for their parents in such a situation. If he and Schu have known each other for so long, it is not surprising he would call for him. If he has forgotten his current band, or where in time he is, it does not mean he has forgotten you. And, again, this is likely temporary in any case.”

Schu cleared his throat, and the room’s attention focused on him. “This group is the only band Yohji’s ever been with. They just weren’t always called Weiss...” Schu sighed. “They went by various names, unable to settle on one that captured them. A while ago, God, not even two years after high school, a friend of ours was killed. Jason Weiss. It was.... it doesn’t matter now. Anyway, the group chose his name and the white stylized cross symbol in memoriam, and it was shortly after that decision that things began to develop for the band. If Yohji has... regressed, to a point that the groups is not called Weiss, he’s gone back at least seven years.”

Schu’s grip on Ran’s hand flexed as he glanced to Ran, then back to the doctor. “This was ... before Ran.” he said quietly.

The doctor sat back, taking in Ran’s obvious distress. “You have been together for some time? Exclusive?” at Ran’s shaky nod the doctor sighed and shook his head. “I am sure there will be no getting you, any of you most likely, to leave. Mr. Kudoh is being relocated to a private room once he is stable. Given his celebrity status, it is best that he be kept from the general rooms. We often deal with people of notoriety, and we prefer peace when possible during recovery. Given the likelihood of visitors being recognized, and harassed, when dealing with high profile patients, those patients are located in a secluded wing, with access from the garage parking area. This should reduce press interference. I have arranged an empty room next door to Mr. Kudoh to accommodate your group. I’m afraid there are only two beds and a roll out cot, but I am sure you can come to some arrangement. I have also had a roll cot and a recliner placed in Mr. Kudoh’s room. Closeness is essential at this stage for his recovery, and I imagine for your peace of mind as well.”

The doctor stood. “I will have Nurse Jameson escort you to the fourth floor where Mr. Kudoh will be placed soon. You can wait here. He is medicated for now, purposely, and will not awaken for” he glanced at his watch, “at least another four hours. I suggest you get what rest you can. Perhaps some can gather items of comfort and, I assume given who he is, someone will arrange for a press conference.”

“I’ll handle that” Nagi spoke for the first time. “I’ll set up a conference where you can tell them he’s alive, and recovering, and NOTHING else.” Nagi’s voice hardened. “Then, I’ll make sure they stay away.”

Jei spoke up. “I’ll talk to you about that Nagi.” He stood as well, reaching to shake the doctor’s hand. “Thank you doctor. For everything.”


The doctor shook Jei’s hand and gave Ran another long look. “Very well gentlemen. My name is Dr. Brice.  I will be in charge of Mr. Kudoh’s care for the duration of his stay. When you are ready for the press, please have the nurse’s desk contact me. I assume it will be handled  this morning?” he glanced between Nagi and Jei.

Jei nodded, “Yeah, it’s, God, close to dawn now.... say about.... two hours? Does that work for your schedule?”

“Barring any emergencies, that is fine. Less disruption for the hospital. After morning rounds then. Say, 7:30? I’ll complete my rounds and meet you in the press area. I’ll have the charge nurse show you. Until then. He stepped toward the door. Nurse Jameson will be here shortly to escort you to the fourth floor rooms.” He left the room, the soft click of the door’s latch echoing as they sat there....

Jei pushed his chair back, “Come on Nagi, let’s walk a bit, get some coffee, and we’ll discuss that conference.”

“Jei. Wait” Ran’s flat voice filled the room. “Have you spoken with the police? Do... do we know who the reporter was, or who they worked for? Anything?”

“No Ran” Jei sighed, controlling his anger. “Not yet. They’re supposed to interview some other witnesses, and some who called in too, and get back to me. Don’t worry. We’ve seen the Nisaan before. We’ll catch the bastards. The press conference will be with the cops, and channel 8 and 10 only. I’m not about to allow any of those idiots to profit from this if at all possible.” Jei paused, then reached out to clasp Ran’s shoulder. “We’ll get through this Ran. We’re family. Take care of him Schu.” Jei nodded to Schuldig and Brad. “You guys take care of Ran and Yohji. Let us take care of the rest.”

Ken stood then, “Ran.” he said quietly, waiting for Ran to raise his head. “I’m gonna go by your place, get some things, okay? I’ll swing by Masato’s too, while I’m out. I’ll get you a change of clothes, maybe... maybe some... pictures? Or something?”

“That’s a good idea Ken. Really” Schu answered for Ran who, while he looked at Ken, seemed unable to respond. “Ran?” Schu asked quietly, “Are there any certain photos or things you want?”

“I-“ Ran stopped, cleared his throat and took a deep, breath. Then another. “I can’t think Ken. I’m sorry” he looked up. Then to Omi. “You have my keys?” he asked Omi, who nodded. “Ok. Maybe, maybe the picture of all of us from the tour bus. That one in the front room. And, maybe the one of Yohji and I from Christmas? The one in the hall? And.... the” he cleared his throat, blushed lightly, and held Ken’s gaze, “there’s a picture on Yohji’s nightstand. Of me. He,” Ran closed his eyes, “he loves that stupid picture.”

“I got it Ran. We’ll be back” Ken leaned over and kissed Jei quickly, then looked to Omi who stood and followed him from the room. Jei and Nagi left then as well, Nagi already opening his cell. The three who remained, Ran, Schu, and Brad, sat quietly for a moment before Ran’s hands came to cover his face as he started to rock back and forth and the harsh sobs tore from him. Schu reached and pulled Ran into his side, Brad coming around to the other side to envelope both men in his warm, strong arms.

“He’ll be ok. He will” Schu soothed. “Yohji’s strong. And he loves you Ran. With a love so strong. He won’t forget you. Not completely. I swear. It may take a while to get things on track, but you are a part of his soul. It’s going to be ok Ran.”

After a time Ran was able to bring himself under control. Exhausted, he slumped against Schuldig. “God Schu.” He rasped, “I.... I don’t know what to do.”

“We’re here Ran. All of us. We’ll carry you through this. Together, we’ll all carry each other through.”  Ran sat up, glancing up at Brad who held out a damp cloth and a cup of coffee. Ran washed his face and took a sip of the coffee.

As he sat back, the door opened. “Gentelmen,” the petite nurse from earlier entered the room. “If you’ll follow me, Mr. Kudoh has been relocated to his room.”

The three stood, and fortifying themselves, followed her down the hall.......



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