Music of My Soul

BY : ReadtoEscape
Category: Wei▀ Kreuz > Yaoi - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 1198
Disclaimer: I dont own Weiss kreuz, Ran, Yohji, or any of the guys. I write/post for my own enjoyment. No profit is made. Well, except the stress relief of writing it, & the warm fuzzies I get if you like it. But as those are intangibles,


Ran awoke to pain in his neck and numbness in his arm. He sat up gingerly, eyes scanning over Yohji’s still form. “there’s been no change.” Schu’s quiet voice came to him. “He hasn’t stirred at all.”

Ran sat straighter and stretched a bit. “Let me throw some water on my face and then you try to get some sleep Schu.” Ran stood and noticed Brad sleeping on a cot against the wall behind Schuldig. A pang shot through him. He’d been so engulfed with everything, he hadn’t even stopped to think about the circumstances “Schu, God. You should be curled up with Brad right now in a lovers’ sutie somewhere, not holding vigil like this.” His voice broke and he felt the tension growing in his shoulder and neck.

“Ran.” Schu voice drifted to him, “Brad and I can go on our trip anytime. If this had to happen, I’m glad it was before we’d left. Brad is too. We talked about it. He called the resort and cruise line. Our reservation is on standby for now. I’m glad we can be here for him. And for you.” Schu stood, bringin Ran in for a brief hug. “Go, refresh yourself. I’ll curl up with Brad here.”

Ran shook himself and turned toward the bathroom, “I’m glad you’re here too Schuldig. Yohji will be as well, once he wakes up.” Ran went into the bathroom. Ignoring the mirror, he washed his face, then stood over the sink for a long moment. He took a deep breath, then went back out into Yohji’s room. Before he could sit, the door quietly opened.

“Oh. You’re awake.” The nurse whispered, “Good. You can assist me if you’d like.”

“Assist?” Ran asked as he watched her approach Yohji.

“Yes. It’s time to turn him for a bit since he’s still not awakened. We don’t want him to remain in one position for too long, it’s bad for the skin.” Ran and the nurse repositioned Yohji, settling him comfortably on his right side. She pulled the blanket up over Yohji’s ribs, gently easing his braced left arm on a pillow. “He should wake soon” She patted Ran’s arm softly then left the room.

Ran glanced at the clock. It’d been a little more than twelve hours since his world tilted off its axis. Yet it felt like forever. Twelve hours Yohji’d lain here, unresponsive. Hours of not knowing what pain he might be in, if he remembered their life, their love.... hours of mind numbing fear. What if he didn’t wake.... what if it was more than they thought. He’d heard those horror stories of someone hitting their head and seeming to be fine, only to collapse or even die a day later.

Ran held his breath as he caressed Yohji’s face, trailed a hand down his hair spread over the pillow.... “stop” he told himself. “Just..... stop. He’s going to be ok. He is. He’s strong, healthy.” He was jolted out of his reverie as Yohji began to move slightly. His good arm brushed across the blanket, a grimace of pain crossing his features. Ran watched as Yohji swallowed, his breath coming faster as he registered the pain. He was waking.....

“oh damn.... what... what the hell?” Yohji’s pain filled moan filled the room. His eyes began to flutter open. “Where –“ Yohji stirred, eyes still not quite open.

Schu startled awake at the moan, “oh!” he whispered, coming to the bedside, leaving Brad buried in the blankets piled on the cot. Schu took in the stoic picture of a frozen Ran. While Ran’s face was devoid of any expression, and he’d stopped all movement as he realized Yohji was stirring, terrified of what may happen next, Schu saw the fear in Ran’s eyes, eyes that were closing now as the jaw clenched, the fists wrapped around the bed rail. “Ran” Schu whispered, one hand firm on Ran’s shoulder. “It’ll be ok Ran. It will.”

He turned to watch Yohji, leaving the hand on Ran’s shoulder. Yohji moved again slightly, turning his head toward them. “Schu?” Yohji called out plaintively, softly. “Schu is that you, ....are..... are you there?”

“I’m here Yohji.” Schu leaned forward, patting Yohji’s uninjured shoulder.

“Schu” Yohji raised bleary eyes to Schu’s face, “Man, what the fuck hit me? .... hurts man. What happened?” Yohji paused a moment, easing himself around, trying to find a more comfortable position. “Shit, did I roll the rail or something? Where’s Jason?”

Schu froze and felt Ran beside him go utterly still, even ceasing to breathe. Damn, he had gone back to before they’d lost Jason.... shit. He didn’t remember losing Jason, he wouldn’t remember losing his parents! Fuck.... not losing Asuka, not that they were together yet.... Schu took a deep breath, not sure how to answer. He was saved with having to come up with something when Yohji squinted at Schu then turned to glance at Ran. “Schu?” Yohji looked back, focusing on Schuldig, “Who’s the red head?”

Ran went sheet white. His vision darkened and his mind went completely blank as his knees buckled. He was caught from behind by Brad’s strong arms. “Whoa. It’s alright Ran.” Brad murmured as he held Ran up for a moment before easing him into the chair next to the bed. “Remember. Temporary Ran.” Brad said quietly as Schu stepped forward between Yohji’s curious gaze and Ran’s gasping form.

“Yohji.” Schu, forced Yohji to focus on him. “What’s” he swallowed, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I, I don’t know.” Yohji shook his head. “it’s all fuzzy. Jason and I were camping upstate. I kept hassling him to take out the rail, but he said it was too dark.” Yohji looked down, picking at the blanket, guess I musta talked him in to it huh? We crashed? Where is he? Is Jason ok?” Yohji raised a hand to his head, wincing, “Wait..... what? Jason..”

Yohji cleared his throat and his voice trailed off. Schu reached over and brought the water glass from the bedside table into Yohji’s view. “Here, have a drink Yohji.” He held the cup steady allowing Yohji to wet his throat. After he was done, Schu caught Yohji’s eyes with his own green gaze. “Yohji.”

Schuldig leaned over, resting his forearms on the bedrail. “It wasn’t a rail accident... You weren’t with Jason. That... that was almost seven years ago Yohji.”

Yohji’s eyes flew wide, “Seven.... seven years?” he whispered, “What?”

He said seriously, “You wrecked your Harley, last night. On the I-10. We were-“

“Harley?” Yohji’s voice cut Schuldig off. “What... what Harley? Seven years?.... ” Yohji sounded lost, scared...

“oh God.” Ran’s whisper was so quiet Schu almost didn’t hear him. Almost. He turned slightly, “Wait Ran. Just.... wait, ok? Give it some time.”

“Schu?” Yohji called out, “what the hell is going on?” his voice was growing stronger, “Tell me what happened.” Schu noticed the increased hear rate on Yohji’s monitor, and stood up straight, crossing his arms over his chest, in an attempt to project calm.

Quietly he said, “Yohji. We weren’t on a trip with Jason. Like I said, that.... that was seven years ago. You were on your bike, like I said. You... the band is bigger now, than you’re remembering. Obviously we’re not in highschool anymore. You have fans, and the press... well, they can be persistent. Some photographers were following you on the freeway and one cut off another car.” Schu grimaced, “Anything to get exclusive pictures of Yohji of Weiss.”

“Weiss?” Yohji asked, and Schu gasped as he realized the slip, “What the....” Suddenly Yohji grimaced again, bringing his unwrapped hand to his forehead. He whimpered, and his breathing rate increased. As the monitor registered the higher levels a nurse came bustling into the room,

 “Awake I see,” she said as she briskly checked the monitors and pressed a switch near the head of Yohji’s bed. She leaned down, brushing a hand over Yohji’s face. “Mr. Kudoh.” She spoke firmly, “Mr. Kudoh, look at me.”

Yohji opened his eyes, beginning to pant a bit now, his eyes having a wild cast to them. They flew about the room, locking on Schu’s face, “Schu?” he called, “I..., unngh!” he raised his free hand to his head again, bowing forward. “Schu” he panted, “It hurts... I”

Ran stood suddenly, “Yohji” he couldn’t hide the fear in his voice, and couldn’t stop himself from taking a step toward the bed. Before he could reach over the bedrail, the room’s door opened again and Dr. Brice entered the room.

“Gentlemen.” He spoke firmly, stepping to the bedside. “Mr. Kudoh” Dr. Brice spoke firmly, bringing his hands to either side of Yohji’s face. He glanced at the nurse, “Administer the valium, Nurse Tindal,” he said quietly, then turned back to Yohji. “Mr. Kudoh. Look at me.”

Yohji fought to bring his vision into focus, responding to the authority in Dr. Brice’s voice. “It hurts.” He whispered.

“I understand. Mr. Kudoh. It’s going to be alright.” He kept his eyes on Yohji’s as his fingertips registered the slowly calming pulse and the wildness eased from Yohji’s eyes as the valium took its effect. “Feeling better now?” he asked quietly.

Yohji nodded lightly. “I.... I don’t understand.” He whispered, “Seven years?..... how can, how can it be seven years?” he asked the doctor..... “it just..... doesn’t make.....” his voice grew quieter..... “something’s not... it’s ... wrong...” his eyes rolled back and his voice dropped to a barely there whisper.

Dr. Brice stood back as Yohji fell asleep. He eased Yohji down into a more comfortable position and nodded to the nurse. “Half that dosage, administered twice daily for now.” She made a notation in the chart and let herself out of the room.

Dr. Brice turned then to take in the white faces of the three men watching. “Gentlemen.” He said quietly, focusing his gaze on Ran who was trembling now, eyes wide in a too pale face. He knelt down to look intently into Ran’s eyes. “Mr. Fujimiya. Take a deep breath.” He reached for Ran’s wrist, checking his pulse. A bit too fast for comfort. “Mr. Fujimiya, I understand, it’s a shock. But again, I stress, the amnesia is likely temporary.”

Ran shuddered and gripped the arms of the chair. He swallowed, shuddered again, and seemed to bring himself under a rigid control. The shaking subsided, and the wild look in his eyes eased off to be replaced by a .... hollowness. But, the seeming lack of emotion was belied by the pulse that continued to race under Dr. Brice’s fingers.

“Ran.” he said firmly, “I mean it. There is no indication that this will be a permanent situation. The fact that Mr. Kudoh experienced the intense pain when confronted in fact can be considered a positive sign, as his subconscious attempts to correct his perceptions. It was to be expected that, if he remained regressed, the time lapse would be a shock. He will sleep again for a time. When he wakes, he may wake fully restored, still regressed, or with partial recovery. We’ll have to wait and see, but you, young man, need to rest yourself. You will be in no condition to help him, or to confront his memory loss, if you continue this way.”

Dr. Brice stood and pressed the button the  nurse had pressed earlier. An intercom buzzed to life on the wall above Yohji’s bed. “yes Dr.?” Nurse Tindal’s voice inquired. “Please prepare a dose of Librium, 25 mg, I think. To be administered by injection.” He turned back to find Ran glaring at him, violet eyes darkened, standing out in his still too pale visage. “No drugs” Ran grated.

“Mr. Fujimiya. If you wish to remain here at the hospital with Mr. Kudoh, you will take the prescribed injection. Your anxiety level is much too pronounced. Your adrenaline levels too high, causing elevated pulse rate and blood pressure. I cannot sit by and ignore such a state. You must relax. I will not give you a dosage strong enough to render you insensate, but you must reduce your stress level immediately, and allow your body to calm. Mr. Kudoh will likely sleep through the remainder of the night, given the dosage of Valium and his injuries. I suggest you,” and here he turned to Schudlig and Brad, “and you two gentlemen as well, should get some sleep. I mean real sleep. I completely understand if you refuse to go elsewhere. You are welcome to stay here, but allow others to assume guard here and retire to the room next door. Be assured, we will not keep anything from you. If he wakes or requires anything, I give you my word you will be summoned.”

The doctor stood then, looking down at Ran. Finally, Ran nodded, and dropped his head into his hands as a sob wracked him suddenly. Brad reached down, placing a hand on Ran’s shoulder.  The door opened quietly as Nurse Tindal entered the room with a syringe. She was followed by Jei and Ken, who took in the tension of the room, and Ran’s state, and came to kneel in front of Ran. “Ran!” Ken called as he pulled Ran into a hug. He looked up, eyes full of fear as Jei’s expression darkened. “What the fuck?” Jei barked, then sighed. “Sorry Doctor. I mean, What’s happened?”

Dr. Brice ran a hand through his black hair and sighed. “Just a moment Mr. Fello.” He said as he stepped to the nurse and took the syringe. “Nurse Tindall. Please notify the desk to communicate with any of the gentlemen staying next door at any time, regarding Mr. Kudoh’s condition, with priority to Mr. Fujimiya and Mr. Crawford here. Ask them to disable the speakers in that room, as well as this one, to manual use only. Peace and quiet are the order of the day.”

“Yes Dr. Of course.” The nurse left the room again, and Dr. Brice knelt down beside Ran. “This will take effect relatively quickly Mr. Fujimiya. Again, it won’t completely knock you out, but it will relax you considerably. You must rest. I suggest you take only a short amount of time to bring these gentlemen up to speed and then retire.” By now, Ran had brought himself under control, head resting against Ken’s shoulder. Weak, exhausted, he just nodded without argument.

Dr. Brice pulled back the collar of Ran’s shirt and swabbed his shoulder. He injected the dosage and disposed of the syringe in the sharps container mounted over Yohji’s bed. He nodded to Schuldig and Brad. Stopped a moment to pat Ran on the back, and glanced at Jei and Ken. “I’ll let these gentlemen explain the recent events, saying only that Mr. Kudoh remains in stable condition. Please, have the nurse’s desk page me if you have questions.” With that, he left the room.

Ken eased his hold on Ran, pressing Ran back into the chair. Brad remained behind Ran, one hand still on Ran’s left shoulder. Schu came around the side of the bed quietly. Jei couldn’t stand any more. “Schu” he hissed, “What the fuck?”

Schu sighed as he pushed himself under Brad’s arm, holding tightly to Brad’s waist. Brad wrapped both arms tightly about Schuldig and held him close until Schu took a deep breath and turned to press his back closely to Brad’s chest. Resting both hands on Ran’s shoudlers Schuldig explaned Yohji’s wakening, the confusion, and Ran’s minor breakdown.

Ken kept hold of one wrist as he remained kneeling before Ran, but raised his other hand blindly, seeking the comfort of Jei’s hand seemingly without realizing it. Jei automatically entwined his fingers with Kens as he blew out an explosive breath. “Well damn.” He groaned.

They sat there a moment, remembering, considering.... Then Ken nodded and stood. “Right. OK. Brad, you take Schuldig to that hotel. I know your reservation is still good, I checked. Take the rest of this afternoon and tonight. Yohji’s gonna be out of it, doc said so. Take your bonded and have your wedding night. You deserve it, and it’ll help you both relax. Get the massages, use the whirlpool, and come back in the morning ready to face this, ready to be strong in the morning when he wakes up again. Jei and I got some rest, we’re good for the night. We’ll stay here with Ran. Aya and Yuushi will be here around dinner time. We got this.”

Brad was nodding before Ken was half way through his speech. Schu tried to argue, but Brad cut him off. “No Schuldig. He’s right. You’re exhausted. Almost as stressed as Ran. We all love Yohji, but you have to take care of you too. Let me do that. Come with me. We’ll be back before morning rounds. And if anything happens, they’ll call us. I promise not to turn off the cells.”

He looked imploringly at Schuldig, and Schu melted. As the tension left him, he felt the pain surface, he was going to fall apart. He could feel it building, and didn’t want to lose it in front of Ran. Ran was holding onto his own control by his fingertips.... Schu nodded and leaned into Brad subtly. “Ok. Let’s go then.” He whispered, pulling his control back tight around himself like a cloak. Just a little longer and he could let go. Let go and let Brad soothe the pain. “okay.”

He nodded solemnly to Jei, then Ken, dropping a significant glance to Ran’s still bowed head. Jei and Ken acknowledged the direction, both pledging to keep guard. Ran reached out as they made their way by him and grabbed Schu’s wrist. “Thanks Scu.” He rasped, “for being here for Yohji.” He raised his pain filled gaze, “for me. Rest. Let Brad be strong for you. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Ran released Schuldig’s wrist, and sat back, exhausted, weary. Schu and Brad left quietly.

Ken leaned down, easing Ran up by gripping his shoulders. Ran was docile, a sight that was disturbing. He allowed Ken to lead him from the room, his eyes reluctant to leave Yohji’s form sleeping so still.... Ken led him next door to the guest beds that had been set up there. As he brought Ran to the bed, he realized Ran was still dressed in his dress pants and button down shirt from the ceremony... God, they’d been so engulfed in everything, he hadn’t even changed...

“OK Ran” Ken said as he eased Ran to sit on the side of the bed. “Let’s get you changed huh?” He helped a childlike, malleable Ran to remove the button down, easing a t-shirt over his head from the overnight bag they’d brought from Ran’s place. Then he removed Ran’s shoes, and helped him change into a pair of sweats. He eased Ran back into the mattress, covering him with the blankets. “It’s ok Ran. Rest now. We’re here, Jei and I will take watch. I promise, any change and we’ll wake you.”

Ran just looked at Ken, a lost, fearful look on his face for a moment before his eyes slid closed and his breathing evened out, obviously unable to fight the medication and the need for rest any longer.

Ken watched him for a moment, tears stinging his eyes, then stood back. He was surprised by the strong arms that wrapped around him as Jei pulled him in close. “Jei” he whispered, “Yohji.”

“Out cold Tiger. Promise. C’mon. We’ll go back in there on the off chance he wakes, and we’re calling in reinforcements to sit with this one in case he claws his way out of the drug stupor and has nightmares or something. Omi, Yuushi, Manx, I don’t care, but somebody is getting down here to help with the guard duty.” Jei gave a squeeze and stood back. Shutting off the light, secure in the fact that Ran would sleep uninterrupted for, at the very least, an hour or two before he could fight it off, they made their way back to Yohji’s bedside.

Ken sat, taking one of Yohji’s hands into his own as Jei used the phone at the bedside to make some calls......

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