Music of My Soul

BY : ReadtoEscape
Category: Wei▀ Kreuz > Yaoi - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 1198
Disclaimer: I dont own Weiss kreuz, Ran, Yohji, or any of the guys. I write/post for my own enjoyment. No profit is made. Well, except the stress relief of writing it, & the warm fuzzies I get if you like it. But as those are intangibles,






Ran and Yohji approached the park, hand in hand, relaxed, and happy. Well, as happy as one could be, considering where everything stood. At least say...... content.....


Yesterday had been a study in ‘relaxing’ – teaching Ran the joys of lazing about, watching  old, favorite movies one after another, doing nothing more strenuous than microwaving burritos or paying the pizza guy..... lazy exploratory touches, tastes. Yohji carefully kept things slow. Satisfying, but without urgency or pushing any limits. He’d brought Ran awake with his tongue and gently eased him over the cliff to begin the day, then kept things to just being together, holding Ran, caressing him, but not venturing beyond. He wanted Ran to experience the wonder of being cherished, and wanted to be certain Ran knew it was for more than physical gratification. Yes, falling asleep, cradling Ran in his arms, watching his features soften in peace after spending the entire day together in the apartment, talking – laughing – learning more and more of each other.... it had truly been a day to hold close in his heart.


As they came up on the sidewalk border around the side of the park, Yohji pulled them to a stop.  ‘Ran,’ he said softly, then sighed as Ran’s curious gaze fell on him. ‘I have to tell you something.’


He lowered his eyes and took a deep breath.  Raising his gaze to Ran’s, his voice firmed with determination, ‘Ran I’ve told the guys a lot about you.  How much you mean to me, how delicious you are’ here he grinned quickly with a fast waggle of the eyebrow, but quickly reverted back to serious. ‘That you’re mine... or rather that I hope to make you mine, ... but.... I’ve also told them about... about Aya.’ He Felt Ran’s hand tighten briefly on his own.


‘Yohji’ Ran murmured.   ‘I had to Ran.’ Yohji answered. ‘Omi.. he’s like a total genius. If there’s any way out of this, he’ll find it. I know. I know there’s likely no alternative, no fix, or you would have figured it out, but damn, Ran, I had to try.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I know you’re a private man, and didn’t really want this out there, but... these guys are family Ran. They’ve been with me through so much, my parents, Asuka. They know if I’m hurting. When I’m worried or tense. I....’ he locked his emerald gaze with Ran’s violet,  ‘I can’t lie to these guys Ran. I just can’t.’


‘Yohji’ Ran brought one hand up to cup Yohji’s jaw. ‘it’s ok. I know how important they are to you. I won’t pretend to truly understand family, but I had,’ he swallowed, coughed a bit, ‘have Aya.  And, I never lie to her....if... if she were able to hear, if she were awake and you were hurting, if there was something wrong, I would never consider keeping it from her. It’s ok. They’re your brothers, your family, I....’ he trailed off and looked away a moment, then looked back. ‘I want them to know Yohji. What you mean to me, and to understand if I’m.... aloof, or...seem.... not what they’d expect. This avoids complicated explanations. If you’ve explained, then, then - they’ll understand perhaps if I’m not as... talkative, or expressive, or... outgoing as one would expect. Especially for someone deserving of your attentions.’ Ran smiled softly.


‘Ran’ Yohji scolded, ‘you are absolutely deserving of everything-‘


Ran cut him off. “perhaps. But, you must admit my... socially challenged ways are not typical of your conquests.’ He smirked a bit, and his eyes smiled and shone with mirth.


Yohji laughed. ‘socially challenged huh? I’m so gonna use that Ran.’ he pulled Ran in close briefly inhaling the calming sandalwood of his hair and kissed him quickly on the temple. He stepped back, ‘ok.’ He said, ‘let’s-‘


Yohji was cut off by the sneering tone of a voice calling out a bit behind him, ‘well guys, if it aint a couple a fruits snuggling, and right out in public. Incredible. Stinking fairies. Go to freaking California, huh?’


Yohji turned slightly, his grip tightening on Ran’s hand. He clenched his jaw and took a breath. Glaring at the four men standing a ways off, he turned back to Ran. ‘C’mon Angel. Let’s move on.’ He started to make his way across the park. Ran glared at the hecklers a moment and turned to follow.


‘Yeah. Flit away fairies. You know, if you’re gonna pick such a girly weakling as red there you might as well just get a woman.’ The voice sneered at them, ‘well, I guess he makes you feel all manly, but still gives you whatever squick it is you get from picking a guy... What a princess.’


Yohji whirled, anger rising, growling low in his throat at the ‘girly weakling’ comment. His eyes widened further with the ‘princess’ taunt, knowing the taunts and such Ran had endured throughout his life – from his father, school kids, and others over his apparent frailty... to let these thugs bring up those memories... Yohji started back toward the group, fists clenched, but was stopped short by Ran’s grip on his arm. ‘No, Nissho. Leave them. They mean nothing, they are  nothing. Leave it.’ Ran held Yohji’s arm tightly, ‘come. Forget them.’ He tugged lightly and felt Yohji sigh.


Yohji glared at the hecklers again, then turned back to Ran. He took another breath and forced a smile. ‘Ok Angel. Fine. Let’s go find the guys.’ He reached up to trail his fingers through one of Ran’s ear tails gently. He caught Ran’s eyes widening with alarm a moment before something impacted with his back just between the shoulder blades, knocking him briefly off balance. An unpleasant wetness trickled down his shirt collar as he caught himself stumbling into Ran. He looked up quickly to make sure Ran was ok and was stunned by the look in Ran’s eyes as he glared over Yohji’s shoulders at the men behind.


‘Ran’ Yohji gasped quickly. Ran’s grip had shifted to Yohji’s biceps to steady him as he stumbled and Ran squeezed tightly. Righting Yohji’s balance and quickly moving Yohji two steps to the side, his gaze never leaving the men behind Yohji, Ran spoke quietly but firmly. ‘are you ok Yohji?’


Yohji flinched at the coldness in Ran’s tone. ‘yes Ran. Angel. I’m fine. C’mon.’ Yohji felt fear twisting his gut. He knew Ran wasn’t gonna walk away. There was such a look in Ran’s eye. He was afraid to look away, to let go. Ran’s aura was oppressive with restrained violence and Yohji wanted desperately to walk away, just ignore this. His own anger from before paled at the barely suppressed rage shining from Ran’s eyes.


‘just a moment, Nissho.’  Ran answered, his voice cold. He stepped forward, his stance obvious as he stopped slightly in front of Yohji, his voice dripping with scorn as he addressed the group’s leader. ‘such a man you are, to strike your opponent in the back. To throw a drink at a man walking away, avoiding a conflict. Such honor you display. It’s no wonder these men revere you.’ Ran dropped the sneer and his voice burned as he spoke next. ‘you will apologize to this man, now.’


‘Apologize?’ the heckler laughed, his discomfort obvious at being intimidated by one he’d judged as weak. And he was intimidated, his nervousness clear at the confidence exuding from Ran. His bravado rose,  ‘I don’t think so fairy.’ The thug barked, ‘you must be soft in the head too. Take your boyfriend,’ here he sneered viscously at the term, ‘and be glad we don’t kick your ass, and his.’


Ran’s gaze never faltered. There was no change in his expression as he regarded the men. Deceptively calm, he spoke. ‘you will not apologize willingly then.’  Calm he was, but Yohji could see a cold, clear anger seething in Ran’s eyes, heard it in that calm statement and the words that followed, ‘very well. After I, a ‘soft fairy’ put you in your place, you will apologize. You and your companions.’


‘You’re crazy.’ The thug scoffed. But his disquiet was becoming more visible, the way he shifted about, his bravado beginning to crumble. And as any bully with followers is wont to do, he blustered all the harder, and called in his guard. ‘Fine fruit. Whatever. I’m done with you.’ he gestured to the man on his right, ‘Joe. Shut this fag’s mouth.’


“Joe” stepped forward, cracking his knuckles, his intent clear. Ran spoke once more, lightly shaking off Yohji’s clutch at his bicep and the hissed “wait Ran!’


‘You will not engage yourself?’ Ran shook his head, ‘you send your lackey?  Yes. Clearly a man of honor. A real man you are. Very well, so be it. When I am done here, you will each apologize.’ Ran stepped forward and stood with his hands at his sides. ‘Ran’ Yohji tried once more, ‘C’mon Ran. Just blow it off. I’m fine. They’re not worth it babe, not worth the trouble.’


‘No Yohji. You are correct. They are not worth any trouble.’ Ran assured, his eyes never straying from the man in front of him. ‘They are not worth trouble, but you are. You are worth so much, so worth any trouble. However, it’s obvious that they wont take much effort, and I feel like making a point. Trust me Nissho.’


The advancing thug, Joe, shook his head and snarled, ‘whatever asshole, enough.’ He stepped forward and swung a meaty fist at Ran’s head. Faster than a blink Ran caught the fist and spun Joe about, wrenching his arm up against his back. He raised Joe up on his toes, earning a sharp cry as his other hand raised and cuffed Joe in the side of the head, stunning him. His foot planted firmly in Joe’s lower back, he shoved him forward onto his face on the pavement. Ran spun quickly to take on the next attacker who rushed with a cry and a kick toward Ran’s side. Ran caught that leg against himself, pinning it with his arm against his body and pulling the man forward. He lashed out with his right fist connecting with the man’s jaw and let him drop to the sidewalk.


The remaining follower and the leader rushed Ran together. Yohji cried out a warning, but Ran was ready. He snapped a blinding fast roundhouse kick at the fourth man, catching him in the side of the head. Landing, he swung a hard jab into the man’s gut, causing him to double over and sink to his knees. Leaving him groaning, Ran spun to face the leader. That one drew up short, suddenly, falling to his knees, both hands raised. ‘hey, wait a-‘ he was cut off as Ran blew aside his raised hands and dropped a viscous, loud slap across his cheek, the crack echoing a moment. The thug slipped to the side and before he could stop it, he raised a hand to cradle the already red cheek with a gasp, tears obviously shining in his widened eyes.


‘a “bitch slap” I believe you’d call it. Appropriate I believe.’ Ran smirked, ‘now, apologize to this man and I will do no more damage. We can leave this here. Or do you wish to continue this?’ Ran barely showed any sign of exertion. His cold glare focused intently on the man.


‘ok, fine. I’m sorry. Enough.’


Ran stood straight. He nodded briefly, once, and turned slightly reaching for Yohji’s hand without taking his eyes from the group. He stepped off to the side. ‘Enough then’ Ran looked at Yohji now, a slight smile spreading across his face at the awe Yohji couldn’t conceal. ‘Come Nissho. Let’s meet those friends of yours.’ Yohji nodded and, hand in hand, the left the area, heading into the park.


After walking a bit across the park, with the adrenaline and euphoria from the run-in with the thugs wearing off, Ran approached the shaded pavilions with some trepidation. The smell of grilled something pervaded the air and his mouth would have watered had it not been so dry.  He cleared his throat, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to relax. He felt Yohji squeeze his hand and squeezed lightly back. He turned to give Yohji a small smile. Already Yohji read him so well. He wanted to make Yohji happy, to meet and spend time with these men, his friends, his family. Yohji’d explained he said, but still… 

Ran knew too well his lack of social graces, his difficulty mingling, making small talk. Heds taken Yohji to see Aya, but she obviously couldn’t express approval or its lack, and he certainly would never introduce Yohji to his father…. These people were Yohji’s family. They were important to him and he to them. Ran’s acceptance by these people would maybe forestall the day Yohji came to his senses, woke up and realized Ran was so not worth all this trouble……….

Ran sighed and tried to recall some of what Yohji’s described to him: Schuldig, Yohji’s best friend since childhood. Somewhat cynical, having endured his own pain and loss…. He’d been with Yohji through all the pain in his life, losing his parents, Asuka….losing himself for a time. Schuldig had not been fooled by the playboy image, the parade of lovers. He knew Yohji craved being loved and loving someone back, and was happy Yohji’d found someone again – but – he hadn’t met Ran, didn’t know, really, who Ran was. This man’s approval was too important. It made him nervous.

Ran spotted the group in the distance. He picked out the energetic, smaller frame of one who could only be the perpetually cheerful,seemingly innocent Omi. And there, off to the side, stood a white haired man that had to be Jei, the bassist. At times prone to temper, but loyal to the end to those he called friend. And finally, the brunette there kicking the soccer ball against the fence. That had to be Ken, Omi’s best friend, clumsy but caring, another brother to Yohji…… Ran took a fortifying breath and centered himself to meet them.  Yohji leaned in and kissed Ran lightly against his hair, then pulled back, smiling. ‘It’s OK Ran. Family, friends, not the execution squad.’ He chuckled, ‘come on Angel – I finally get to show you off’ Ran felt himself smile, amazed at the feeling of home that overwhelmed him when Yohji laughed like that….. with that warmth infusing his chest, he could face anything. ‘Yes Yohji’ he smirked, almost laughing at Yohji’s growled, ‘Ran! None of that’ and stepped forward to shake the first outstretched hand of the group waiting.


Ran sighed quietly as he turned from refilling his wine cooler, looking around briefly for Yohji before spotting him a bit across the park, chasing Ken down. Yohji looked so beautiful, so warm, his gold locks shining in the afternoon sun, his warm honey golden skin just begging to be caressed as he ran across the field… Ran felt himself smile before he’d realized it, then jumped – just a bit – as he heard his name spoken somewhat close by, ‘Ran?’

He turned to find Schuldig near, watching him speculatively. ‘everything ok Ran?’ Schuldig asked. ‘you having a nice time?’  this man… this man was the one whose opinion held so much weight…. Was so so important. Ran found himself out of his depth. His power, money, influence, intimidation… none of that mattered here. This was no client or subordinate, not an enemy competitor to be intimidated or cajoled. This was Yohji’s family. Ran couldn’t hide behind his walls, use a persona, he had to keep the walls down, let this man in, so he would KNOW- ....... Although by most standards it had been a short time, only a few months, already Ran knew – he could not give Yohji up, not without a fight anyway, and Yohji loved him – at least Yohji thought he did, for now, and Ran didn’t want to be the cause for Yohji changing his mind. He would find a way, a way to make this work, to make it last….if only Aya would wake… ah well, no sense wishing for something beyond his control.

Ran let his gaze turn back to Yohji as he laughed and. tackled Ken. He let a small laugh escape his own lips as he answered Schuldig, ‘yes, thank you. I am enjoying myself, more than I’d expected.’ He took a sip of his wine cooler and waited for the unavoidable scrutiny and warning he knew was coming. This was the first chance they’d had to speak alone – and goodness knows, if he were interviewing a suitor of Aya’s the warnings would have been laid on thick from the very beginning…

‘Yohji tells me you met at one of Weiss’ performances at the club Indulgence.’ Schuldig said as he turned to watch Omi and Ken battle back from the goal Jei’d scored after Yohji’s impromptu tackle.   ‘he said you’re not much of a club goer most of the time – hard to avoid the spotlight and all.’ Schuldig watched Ran from the corner of his eye as he struggled to make small talk. Yohji’d explained Ran’s difficulty interacting outside of business, the isolation, the solitude growing up resulting in a lack of conversation skills, his halting social graces for the most part, especially in unfamiliar situations..... And a friendly picnic with no clients or such to impress would certainly be an unfamiliar situation for this man…. Yohji seemed to see a vulnerability here, and his instinctive need and desire to protect, to shield, drew him to this man, while at the same time he described a core of strength, a will in Ran that fascinated him. Schuldig could see what Yohji meant. Ran’s eyes as he watched Yohji were so expressive… tender, amazed almost.... hungry. Schuldig could see a need there, a need for acceptance, a desire to belong, and at the same time an obvious fear that it would not be found….. all underlined by a fierce determination.

‘I actually went to Indulgence purposefully that night.’ Ran said quietly. ‘I knew Weiss would be performing, and …. I’d wanted, wanted to… meet Yohji.’ Ran kept his gaze trained on Yohji, as though he couldn’t bear to look away. He seemed almost not to realize that he oriented himself to Yohji, turning slightly to track his movements. ‘I don’t go to clubs often, but.. it was worth it – I’d wanted to meet him for some time before that night’

‘yeah, that’s what I’d gathered’ Schuldig replied, and was rewarded by a chip in Ran’s armor as his eyes flashed to Schuldig with surprise briefly before returning to Yohji. Ran frowned, just slightly as Schuldig went on, ‘Yohji explained to me Ran, that you’d intended to meet him all along.’ Ran’s expression closed up, a little, and Schuldig knew he was growing wary.

‘Yohji’s my best friend Ran, you know that. My brother. He explained that you’re alone and might not understand what it is we have, all of us.’  Ran’s eyes flashed with a deep pain, quickly quashed. ‘hear me out Ran.’ Schuldig held up one hand.  ‘don’t close off. You know why Yohji explained. We talked because we’re close. Because we can all read each other and we protect each other. Yohji wanted you and I to get along. He worried I wouldn’t understand your…. reluctance, to talk or interact. I’m a people person Ran. I can be brash, or pushy at times and Yohji didn’t want me to feel brushed off if you were extra quiet, or to scare you off by pushing too hard, too fast. He cares for you Ran. More than perhaps he should, so quickly. But that’s Yohji. He falls hard, fast, and deep. But…. I think perhaps you feel just as deeply as he does, I think for all your reluctance to show emotions, you feel them maybe more keenly than most. And I think you care too, for him.  I don’t presume to approve or disapprove. Yohji is an adult, well able to decide for himself who he cares for. Just know, Ran, that we love him and we are quite ready to love who he loves as well.’

Schuldig’s sentiment, willingness to accept, even care for Ran, for Yohji’s sake, was echoed by each of the group in their own ways at different times over the afternoon. Ran had been expecting the “don’t hurt him” speeches to be made, but he’d been floored and humbled by the genuine acceptance each had offered. Their concern for Yohji was overwhelming and each at some point had made mention of how good they felt Ran to be for Yohji, how happy he’d seemed since he’d found Ran.  Ran vowed to fight for this even more that he’d previously determined. 


Ran smiled softly to himself as he watched Yohji make his way back to their blanket spread out on the hillside, balancing two superdogs and a giant Pepsi. They’d stayed for the outdoor showing of Casablanca. The park was showcasing classics every night for the holiday weekend.  Ran had been delighted when Yohji suggested they stay. He’d mentioned, one time – and only in passing – about how he and Aya had been to a few of these…. Only one brief mention and Yohji’d somehow seen what Ran hadn’t explained: how much he’d enjoyed those nights, how much he missed it now…. And, so – they stayed. Yohji ‘d bought a blanket from one of the vendors and insisted Ran stay and guard their ‘perfect’ spot while he scoped out food and then waited in the seemingly endless line for two superdogs.

Ran jumped up to grab the giant – really, it was huge – soda, and allow Yohji to straighten up a bit. ‘thanks babe.’  Yohji smiled. ‘that was a bit more complicated than I’d expected. ‘ he grinned as they sat. ‘I’m sure I got this right now’ he lifted one dog: ‘sour cream, tomatoes, jalapenos, chili and cheese, right?’ he held the dog out to Ran, ‘not to be confused with my own rather tame chili and cheese.’ He reached into his pocket to pull out a large bundle of napkins, then rolled a bit to free a small water bottle from his other pocket. ‘figured we’d need these later.’

Yohji stretched out, leaning back against the shade tree they’d set their blanket under, and pulled lightly until Ran was leaning back against his chest. He sighed in contentment, leaning in for a quick kiss against Ran’s temple. ‘ah, that’s better’ he breathed. ‘So, Angel, did you have a nice time today? I know the guys gave you a bit of a hard time today. Just take it with a grain of salt huh?’

Ran smiled quickly as he swallowed, ‘it’s ok Yohji. Really. I expected it. I can only imagine how I would react to any suitor for Aya. They were actually very..... nice. I felt... accepted. In a way that truly surprised me. They love you Nissho, and I am very glad to know you have them.’ He took a small drink of the Pepsi and looked up to find Yohji watching him quietly. ‘And, Yohji, thank you - for this. I would never have considered asking to stay. To know you know me so well is quite... humbling. This is...nice Yohji.’ He relaxed deeper into Yohji’s chest and took a deep breath.

Yohji chuckled. ‘Well Babe. To be honest, I never have stayed for one of these outdoor showings. I’ve seen them setting up and such, but it never actually occurred to me before to stay. It is nice. And it seems pretty cool.. I’m actually a little excited. I haven’t seen Casablanca since I was a kid, and that was on cable. This is gonna be pretty cool.’ He hugged Ran briefly. ‘Plus, I’m enjoying this quiet time together tonight.’ He heaved a deep sigh.... ‘it sucks that we’re going on that extended tour this week. I enjoyed this long weekend. Now, with the schedule Omi’s got set up these coming weeks, it’s gonna be few and far between that we get more than a day here, a day there. I’m gonna miss you Angel. This weekend will give me some nice warm memories to get me through those days apart.’ He brought his chin down to Ran’s shoulder and kissed the side of his neck. ‘Ahh, it’s starting.’ He whispered.  Ran turned catching Yohji’s lips in a swift kiss. ‘thank you Nissho for this weekend, for this evening, for everything....’ he settled back into Yohji’s warmth and relaxed....


Sadly, Yohji’s concern about seeing each other during the weeks that followed turned out to be all too accurate. Time spent together over the coming weeks was scarce. Many hours were spent together by phone, Yohji touring the NY state area with Weiss, Ran swamped with the rising star Mamaru – Persia had decided Ran had to accompany Mamaru on his first short tour as Ran seemed to be the only one Mamaru had any respect for, the only one he would behave for as an adult rather than a spoiled diva...

The occasional times they spent together Yohji still kept their level of lovemaking to areas explored already. Ran was growing increasingly confident, demanding in his own desires, but Yohji was adamant that their first time across that line would not be a rushed experience – he wanted it all. Not a time when they’d been deprived of each other for too long, when each was frantic for release. Not for it to be over shortly, or lost in the passions of release delayed for too long. Yohji wanted that first time to have meaning, to be a full, complete exploration of each other, and he wanted the perfect morning after too... So, for now, when they could, they touched, tasted, explored. Yohji continued to work on Ran’s relaxing. He would bring Ran to completion with his mouth, his fingers, getting Ran increasingly used to the feeling of penetration.... graduating recently to three, now able to find Ran’s sweet spot unerringly.... Soon, soon he would sheath himself inside this man he loved....

After this last period of separation, Yohji was determined that finally, this weekend, since they were supposed to have some time together, it was time. He’d had Ran almost begging their last time together and didn’t want to delay anymore, to risk pushing him away. It had been so, so hard not to continue and take Ran fully then, but he’d had to leave very early the next morning and just didn’t want it to be that way. He wanted to be able to hold and be held, to stay…

But, this weekend, he had nowhere else to be. Weiss had this weekend off, next weekend was Halloween and they were booked solid Thursday through Sunday, but this weekend was open. They’d got back into town early this morning, Thursday, and had nothing else scheduled until next Thursday’s party. Ran had returned from Mamaru’s short tour and as far as Yohji knew, wasn’t scheduled out again any time soon.

Ran had some big shindig with Kritikker tonight. He’d mentioned it to Yohji earlier this week. Some big announcement was being made and he had to attend. Yohji remembered hearing something about the upcoming announcement in the entertainment news, but hadn’t really paid too much attention. He figured, if it was a very big deal, Ran would explain. But, come to think of it, Ran had seemed a little reluctant to talk about it the last time they’d talked…. Oh well. Yohji was home now and they could talk as much as they wanted this coming weekend. And he’d be at the party himself, to hear whatever the announcement was.

In the spirit of the holiday Krittiker had opted to have the reception as a masquerade. And, for some unknown reason, Persia had elected that it should be themed. People were to come as famous pairs. Didn’t have to be couples necessarily, just pairs. Ran mentioned he’d heard co-workers discussing it and had heard mention of such pairs as David & Goliath, Sonny & Cher, Romeo & Juliet, …. salt & pepper (whatever…) Anyway, after this thing tonight, Yohji planned to have at least a blissful three day weekend together – no Weiss gigs, no Mamaru, no Krittiker… just the two of them.

This party……. Yohji was a little nervous about this reception dinner. It was sure to be  elegant, upper class, wealth personified… all the things Yohji wasn’t. Sure, Yohji was self-confident . Sure of his own abilities, his appearance, his voice, but……Yohji’d grown up on the edge of lower middle class. They hadn’t been poor exactly, but neither had they been wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. Ran… Ran was very wealthy. He always said money was a tool, a means to an end, that it didn’t matter at all. And, in fairness, Ran had never in any way made Yohji feel uncomfortable, beneath him or anything but…. Yohji knew, he may be able to interact for a while in just about any situation, but he had never lived the lifestyle that was central to Ran’s existence.

There were areas where he could not hope to compare to Ran. Education levels were just one aspect. Yohji was a product of public school.  No formal education beyond high school, no vocational training… Ran, Ran had private school education as a kid, the tutors, preparatory classes. Sure, he hadn’t had a happy childhood, but he’d excelled at studies. Enough that he’d attended college, earning his business degree (not daring to pursue art as his major as he’d dreamed, he’d minored in art and obtained his degree in business) He was smart, sophisticated …. Everything Yohji was not. Ran could attend and audience with royalty and not be out of place. There was nothing ‘bumpkin’ about him…. Yohji had worried recently about some of the trips Ran had been on recently. Touring with Mamaru, introducing him to certain areas of society. Ran was interacting, mingling with people from his own social class and as much as Yohji knew Ran cared for him, he also knew that now that he’d let some of those ice walls down it was very likely that others would begin to notice. Others from his own class, others who could talk to him about mutual interests Yohji had only read about, others who could treat him the way he so deserved to be treated… the way Yohji worried he could not………

Yohji pushed his fears aside, determined to make the most of this weekend together, to make Ran completely his and to give himself to Ran as well. To show Ran how much he loved him, needed him….. And, maybe, to talk some of this worry of his out with Ran…He knew Ran loved him, even if Ran himself had not fully realized it. He was just being paranoid….

He approached Ran’s building only a little nervous. Ran said he’d found a pairing for their costumes. Not a couple, just a pair, and that it was appropriate. Yohji exited the elevator and knocked on the apartment door. When the door opened, he stood in awe, breath gone, unable for a moment to react…. Ran stood there dressed from head to toe in black. Well fitted, long sleeve black shirt, top two buttons open at the collar just like he knew Yohji liked, leaving that tempting bit of throat, tucked into well fitted black pants, tapered at the waist and hugging down over that perfect ass and toned, sculpted thighs…. The fabric was almost velveteen in texture, making the blackness seem… deeper somehow. Across his back was a short cloak, also black, but splattered with stars…. millions of stars, interspersed with myriad small galaxies, the full beauty of the night sky, both the outer cloak and the inner liner. Over Ran’s face was a masque, pearlescent white, obviously the moon.

There stood Ran as darkness, night, which could only mean Yohji was to portray light, or day. Appropriate Ran had said. He was always calling Yohji Nissho, sunshine. Always saying Yohji pulled him into the light from his own darkness…. Into warm summer from the depths of winter.

Yohji smiled, letting his eyes roam over the lithe, incredible figure in front of him in obvious appreciation. ‘Hey beautiful.’ He hummed in a throaty, husky tone. Ran’s eyes widened a bit behind the mask and Yohji let his smile widen. ‘so. Night and day huh? Show me Angel, where’s mine?’

Ran lifted the mask and smiled at Yohji. That soft, special smile that thrilled Yohji’s heart every time… ‘this way Nissho.’ Ran pulled Yohji inside and toward the bedroom, excitement almost palpable. That more than anything made Yohji eager to see this costume. For Ran to be this excited…. And to show it.  ‘I am most eager for you to see it Nissho’ Ran said as he opened the door. ‘when I saw it at the shop I knew it was you.’ He pushed Yohji lightly into the room and stood back to let Yohji look at the costume laid out on the bed.

Thankfully the first impression was of a burnished gold, rather than the canary yellow Yohji’d feared. The fabric of the pants and shirt were also the velour texture, but somehow the pile had been vergated, infused with color. You could see areas where the pile was brushed this way or that and revealed various tones of gold, burnished orange, almost golden tan, a peroxide white gold almost…. Like sunshine captured. This also sported a cloak in shimmering tones of gold, but all was eclipsed by the mask laying nearby. No doubt was left but that this portrayed the Sun. Blinding almost in its intense, shimmering gold, the mask had rays sprouting all around it, and almost seemed to give off light of its own. And this in the relatively darkened bedroom. Yohji could only imagine how bright it would be outside in real sunlight, or under spotlights at the reception. He was certain to garner attention at this event.

Yohji smiled imagining Ran’s well concealed delight at parading his “Nissho” around openly this way. If only there’d been some way for Ran to be dressed as his “Angel” Yohji shook his head, smiling at the image, and stepped forward to change. Ran slipped out as he began to undress with a murmured, ‘I’ll wait in the other room.’

As he stepped out of the room to look for Ran, Yohji was stopped by the quick gasp from his right. There Ran stood, waiting for him, obviously right by the doorway. ‘Oh Nissho, it’s perfect.’ Ran whispered. He raised a hand to drag it across Yohji’s shirt, exposing the myriad of color, bringing out the tones of sunlight across his chest and down one arm. He raised his eyes to Yohji’s, stunned anew at the warmth shining there.

Ran leaned easily into Yohji’s pull and allowed those warm, strong arms to envelop him. He moaned as he raised his face to Yohji’s, melting into the kiss as Yohji claimed his mouth. Slow, soft at first, quickly blazing with the fire that only Yohji could awake in him. Ran moaned again as his arms raised up around Yohji’s shoulders, fingers entwining in that soft, honey gold mane. Yohji tightened his hold, trailing fingers down the back of Ran’s neck, down his back, pulling him in close against him.

Finally, Yohji pulled back, panting slightly. ‘Ran, Angel. I’ve missed you. So much.’ He breathed deeply of Ran’s hair. ‘so much. Are you, are you sure we have to go to this dinner thing?’

The reception! Ran’s eyes flew open and he forced himself to pull back. Carefully sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. Damn.

‘Yohji.’ He sighed again. ‘I’m sorry Nissho, but, yes. I must attend. This… this is a very important night for Krittiker, and I must be there.’ He looked intently at Yohji. ‘there will be…. a big announcement, many….changes are in the works, for Krittiker, for…...’ he stopped, took a breath and a… calmness came over him. ‘I am... glad, Yohji that you will be there tonight. Glad I can, bring a friend….. The announcement will affect many aspects of… Krittiker, and there will be many executives there, many… co-workers.’

Ran turned away and started toward the door, but not before Yohji glimpsed something  in his face. Before Yohji could ask, Ran went on. ‘I know we have not had much time together, these last few weeks. Not real time. The passion has been.. wonderful those times we have spent together, but… I know it has been… difficult. I have missed you too, Yohji. Very much. I wish…. I wish we could spend more time together, like a normal couple… I’m… sorry.’ He straightened and his voice firmed. ‘in any case, we must go. I must be there for the opening ceremony. Persia has been most adamant about that. We…perhaps we can talk after the reception. There is …. much to discuss.’

Yohji grabbed Ran quickly, spinning him into his arms. He leaned in for a quick, passionate kiss, then pulled back to cup Ran’s cheek. ‘I will hold you to that Ran. We do need to talk. About a few things. It has been too long since we’ve had any real time together. I miss you, and … there are a few…. things I’d really like to talk to you about more too. Some, questions… things.’

He released Ran and set his cloak straight, pulling the mask over his face. ‘anyway, for now, let’s get this show on the road.’


Yohji watched with a sinking heart as yet another person sat himself at their table and began to speak to Ran in another language Yohji couldn’t understand. French this time, it sounded like.  Just how many languages could Ran speak anyway? This was the fourth time tonight Ran has conversed in some other language. Yohji was pretty sure he’d heard Spanish, or maybe Brazillian – something like that anyway. He’d recognized a few words, ‘amigo, Buenos tardes, adios’  He knew for certain the second group had been German. He’d spent enough time with Schuldig to recognize German when he heard it. Could even pick out a few phrases. But these guys spoke really fast, and he didn’t actually speak it. He had no idea what that last guy was speaking, but this one, yeah, he was pretty sure it was French. The guy turned and inquired of Ran:

Bonjour Monsieur Fujimiya, il est agréable de vous voir ce soir Je suis très heureux d'entendre parler de l'expansion de Krittiker (Hello Mr. Fujimiya, it is nice to see you this evening. I am excited to hear about Krittiker’s expansion.)


Bonsoir, Jaques. Oui, c'est une bonne chose pour Krittiker. (Good evening, Jaques. Yes it is a good move for Krittiker.)


Serez-vous la tête des efforts mondiaux  (Will you be leading the global efforts ?)


Non, je vais mettre en place des bureaux à Londres, mais j'ai l'intention de rester aux États-Unis (No, I will set up offices in London, but I intend to remain stateside.)


Ah, bien, c'est une honte, votre professionnalisme est apprécié. (Ah, well, that is a shame, your professionalism is appreciated.)  Est-ce un client ainsi? (Is this a client as well?)


Non, ceci est mon ami, Yohji. Il est dans la musique, mais n'est pas signé avec Krittiker. (No, this is my friend, Yohji. He is in music, but is not signed with Krittiker.)


Yohji blinked at hearing his name. Smiling politely, he excused himself to refill his drink. His heart was sinking as his fears from the past few weeks resurfaced the more he watched Ran tonight. Some of these that Ran had talked with were obviously taken with Ran, some openly admiring.

Though Ran remained oblivious to his own attraction, Yohji wasn’t. He saw how they looked at Ran. Men and women both. And while he longed to pull Ran in close and make damn sure they knew he was taken, he knew full well that was not an option. Not only not tonight, but not at all… No public display, no chance for scandal. Not only the scandal of Ran being with a man, but the scandal of Ran being with someone beneath his station, a ‘street rat’. Somehow Yohji thought Persia’s offense at them being together stemmed from that part of it as much, if not more, than the stigma of them being men. Sure, Persia degraded Ran’s preference, but some of the things he’d said to Ran about Yohji and the guys reeked more of social disdain….

He heard Ran exchange a few more comments before the guy left and Ran joined Yohji at the refreshment table close by.  ‘Are you alright Yohji?’ Ran asked quietly.

‘Yeah. I’m fine.’ Yohji responded lightly, but Ran knew. Something was wrong. Yohji’d withdrawn steadily as the evening progressed, growing more quiet and seeming to be uneasy. He’d enjoyed the music, the pageantry, the acrobatic entertainers – Persia had really gone all out for this reception banquet. Very traditional in the presentation, very European …. King Henry-ish. He had musicians, magicians, and dancers mingling, performing, throughout the hall. Yohji’d enjoyed it at first, but as the night wore on he grew more and more uneasy, pulling into himself. And Ran had no idea why.

‘One more hour Yohji, and I will make the final announcement, give the closing speech and we can go.’ Ran watched Yohji struggle to answer. ‘If…. Yohji, if you’re…. uncomfortable, if something’s wrong…. You don’t have to stay. I… I can meet you, back at the apartment…’ Ran trailed off. He watched as a self mocking smile flashed across Yohji’s face before his almost bitter voice replied, ‘No Ran. I’ll stay. I can find something to amuse myself with.’ Yohji’s voice quieted to almost a whisper at the end. There was that bitter smile again, then Yohji spoke softly. ‘you know what Ran, on second thought, you don’t need me here – not really. I’m gonna go.’

‘But, Yohji-‘

‘No. I should go Ran. I….. I got nothing to do with these people, can’t even talk to half of them, even if I did. This is… these people are… another level Ran. Not  not for the likes of me.’ He shrugged, ‘anyway… the food was really nice, the … entertainment, I have never seen anything like this, short of a circus. The acrobats, the music…’ again Yohji was whispering by the end. He looked into Ran’s eyes, searching for a moment. ‘Thank you Ran.’ He said solemnly. ‘Thank you for showing me a part of your world.’

Ran blinked, ‘What? Yohji-‘ he began, but was cut off again  as Yohji went on, determination in his eyes. ‘I’m gonna go Ran. It was nice, real nice, but….. I don’t belong here, not really. You finish up what you gotta do, and… I’ll see ya tomorrow, ok?’

‘Tomorrow?, But Yohji’ Ran trailed off, refusing to beg. Refusing to give Yohji any reason to be disappointed in him or to look down on him any more than he obviously did already after watching this evening’s interactions. The front Ran had to put on as Krittiker’s tool. Ran closed his eyes, then looked at Yohji and answered quietly. ‘ok Yohji. If that’s what you want.’

‘yeah.’ Yohji replied. ‘you know, I haven’t spent any time with Schu lately. Been so busy…. Any time in town has all been spent trying to catch up with you and I… He’s still my best friend. I should see him, hang out a little. I’ll crash at his condo tonight so you don’t have to worry. Stay as late as you have to, don’t worry about me waiting up or anything. I know this thing is important and you got all these guests from…. Well, from everywhere – I’m sure they’re….. important. We’ll…. We’ll talk tomorrow, ok?’

Yohji made a show of patting Ran on the shoulder, perfectly acceptable as a public gesture between friends, rather than taking Ran in his arms as he so desperately wanted to, and turned to go – missing the flash of pain in Ran’s eyes before he slammed them closed and put back on the impassive face he’d worn most of the night.

He didn’t see Ran’s hand almost reach for him before forming a fist and falling to his side, and he completely missed the instant of bowed head and slumped shoulders before Ran composed himself. He missed all of this as he made his way to the exit, frantic now to get away from the overwhelming evidence of the differences between him – an almost poor kid, turned still close to poor musician, surrounded by foster kids, blue collar, normal guys, and Ran – practically a prince, cultured, educated, poised…. So far above Yohji it was incredible they’d even spoken, that they got along at all…. Yohji missed all of Ran’s pain, bewilderment, even fear, but…. the dark figure in the corner of the room, that had observed them both all evening, didn’t miss a single moment of it………


Yohji sat on the sofa in his comfortable sweats and tshirt he’d changed into at Schu’s earlier, twirling his beer as Jei watched him. ‘Yohji, what the hell is wrong with you?’

Yohji’s head snapped up and he looked angry for a moment, then resigned, ‘Jei, remember how you worried about the class difference with Ran and me? How it would work? Well…. I got a real glimpse of the difference tonight, and…. It’s bigger that I thought. I mean, I didn’t get it, not really, how different we are. It was all about getting to know him, who he is, how he is… but, damn Jei, he speaks like, five languages or something, he directed that damn dinner and ceremony like he was a prince or something. In complete control, servants bowing, he could meet with the fucking president and look like he was the one in charge. I…. I felt….’

‘you felt worthless, like you didn’t belong there.’ Jei said. Yohji’s eyes widened, and Jei went on. ‘I’ve been watching you Yohji, for a while. Since you got here tonight, you’ve been…. Dejected, lost, like a kicked dog.’ Yohji’s eyes narrowed, but Jei went on before he could say anything ‘but that’s not how you looked up until today. You’ve been happy Yohji. Really happy. Worried about him, about the situation, but… happy. Until you found out about this thing tonight. Then you started worrying…. Wondering. Look. He took you with him. Asked you to go. To this formal thing, where his father may not actually be there, but all his flunkies are. That has to mean something Yohji. Something big. Think about it. You’ve been getting to know him you said. Well, I’ve watched him too, those few times he’s hung out with us. Is this reception thing something you think he would enjoy? Something he would choose to do, if he had a choice – based on what you know of him? I’m sure he does enjoy the symphony, acrobats, ballet, all that jazz, but.... think – do you think he wants to be a prince, on display, the Krittiker Prince?’

Yohji’s head snapped up and his jaw dropped. ‘Yohji.’ Jei growled, ‘He took you with him. He asked you to go with him. He’s never had a friend you said. Never had anyone to be there for him when he had to face these people. When he had to be Krittiker’s doll prince. No one to be himself with when he had to do this shit. He took you to this thing, in a freaking matched costume, knowing people would gawk at him. Gawk and stare at the “ice prince” bringing a friend with him. Report back to Persia probably… Why would he do that, you think? Why set himself up like that? Dumbshit. He needs you.’ Jei shook his head. ‘I’ve watched him Yohji. I’ve seen the way he is around you. I don’t care how much money he has, what he’s been raised with… the man actually needs you. He took you with him to this big important Krittiker function, where he told you he’d have to be in the spotlight – where he had to be the one to make this whatever announcement. He took you with him, and you left him there.’

‘Oh shit!’ Yohji breathed out, then almost couldn’t breathe at all as it hit him. ‘Oh shit Jei. What did I-…. I, I gotta go man.’

‘yeah, I guess so.’ Jei watched as Yohji stumbled out the door, dazed. ‘idiot.’

Yohji let it all tumble in his head as he drove to Ran’s place. Ran had needed him tonight and he’d been so wrapped up in wallowing over something so stupid, in how much better Ran might be able to do than him…. Yohji knew Ran could find someone smarter, more cultured, more… sophisticated. Yeah, he could definitely find someone better than Yohji in all those areas, but he wouldn’t find anyone who could love him more, who needed him more than Yohji.  Yohji’d been so overwhelmed by this worry about their differences that he hadn’t even thought about what it meant for Ran to take him to this thing…. Damn.

He entered the apartment only to realize he was alone. Ran wasn’t there. The place was dark, empty. What? He’d been with Jei for at least two hours, and that after first stopping to visit with Schu and shoot a couple rounds of pool. Shit. It was late, real late. Where the hell was Ran? Yohji dropped onto the sofa, lights still off, holding his head in his hands. God. He’d really fucked up tonight.

Yohji jumped up as he heard the front door open. He watched as Ran came into the apartment, head down, shoulders curled in on himself, eyes closed. Ran took a deep breath and turned to go toward the bedroom, never bothering to turn on a light….

Some movement or breath or something must have alerted him he was not alone. His head shot up and Yohji was floored at the look on Ran’s face as he saw Yohji there. ‘Yohji?’ Ran asked in a small voice, ‘what?’

Three firm steps and Yohji had Ran in his arms. This, this is where he belonged. This was right.  It was. No matter any differences, no matter anything. ‘Ran. I’m sorry.’ Yohji whispered into Ran’s hair as Ran clung to him, trembling. ‘I’m so sorry Angel. I’m sorry I left you there. I’m sorry I didn’t understand.’ He stepped back, holding Ran by the shoulders as he looked into Ran’s eyes. ‘I love you Ran. I think you love me too, even if you can’t say it, even if I’m not on your level…. I was wrong to say I didn’t belong there. I know that now. I belong wherever you are. I’m sorry’ He leaned in to kiss Ran softly, tenderly, but Ran was having none of that.

He held Yohji tightly, deepening the kiss, a whimper escaping him as he pressed himself tightly against Yohji’s body. Ran pulled back a bit to catch his breath and Yohji pulled him in yet closer, molding them together, just holding Ran, squeezing, rocking slightly. ‘Where were you Angel? Why are you so late coming home?’

Ran sighed, tensing for a moment, then he relaxed. Speaking into Yohji’s shoulder he answered. ‘I went to see Aya after I finally got out of there. With…. With you leaving, I… I had to stay… to, to handle some things… deal with-‘ Yohji hissed, ‘Ran, I’m’

Ran cut him off with a hand over his mouth. ‘No more Yohji. Don’t be sorry. I could tell you were uncomfortable. If anything, I am the one who is sorry. I-‘ he dropped his eyes to the floor, ‘I thought you’d enjoy the magic, the dancers, everything…. more. I shouldn’t have put you through that. I know you were disappointed with me, I-‘

‘disappointed? In you? No Ran. I wasn’t disappointed in anything. Definitely not with you. Ran, I just….’ Yohji sighed and steered them to the sofa. ‘Ran. How many languages do you speak?

Ran blinked. ‘What? I… well, I…. why Yohji? What does that have to do with anything?’

‘Ran. Answer me.’ Yohji was solemn, but kept hold of Ran’s hand as Ran tried to make sense of this. ‘well.’ He looked down, thinking for a moment. ‘Seven Yohji. I speak seven languages. Why?’

Yohji sighed, closing his eyes briefly, then looked up. ‘it doesn’t matter Ran. Forget it.’ He forced a smile and caressed Ran’s cheek.

 ‘Yohji. What’s wrong?’ Ran whispered, eyes uncertain, no hint of the prince from earlier. Yohji could see the fear there. Ran worried Yohji’d found something wrong in Ran. Something that would chase Yohji away. Like Ran was always pretending not to be worried about….

Yohji smiled, more sincerely as he thought about this. As he realized Jei was right. Ran needed him. Ran loved him. For now, Ran didn’t seem to fully acknowledge it, but Yohji saw it there. And, yes, Ran could do better than Yohji, so much better in certain areas. But Ran didn’t seem to understand that, to even consider it. And Yohji was damned determined to keep it that way. To show Ran how much he loved him. How he could love him like no one else ever could. To make it so that Ran wouldn’t even see the thought that someone else could be better…. Someday, it would come. Someone at Ran’s level would see past the Krittiker prince. Someone would catch a glimpse of his Angel. Especially now that Ran had awakened his own sensuality. Someday, someone would see this and would pursue. Yohji couldn’t compete with cultured educated, sophisticated rich bastards who could discuss world events in other languages, who could talk about intellectual novel and shit, who could carry themselves at events like tonight, right alongside Ran. But, Yohji had Ran’s heart for now. If he could fill it full enough maybe…. Maybe Ran wouldn’t notice those better options out there. Maybe…

Before the recent traveling conflicts, they’d spent more and more time together. And whenever they were both on down time, Yohji was a regular visitor at Ran’s apartment, almost living there now when they were both in town for extended periods. He had been ignoring Schu lately, but…. He needed Ran to know he was there, that Ran was important to him. Now that he’d had a glimpse into Ran’s world this was even more important.  ‘Nothing’s…. wrong, Babe. Not really. I was… just overwhelmed. By all the ceremony, the …. I don’t know. Anyway. I’m sorry. Sorry I didn’t see – that you needed me there. I’m sorry that I left you there, with the wolves, alone. I love you Ran. I do. It was just a stupid thing that got to me and I let it seem bigger than it is….’ Yohji pulled Ran in close beside him, stroking his hair, his back. ‘We’ll talk about it more, later. For now, just.... let me show you Ran. Let me love you tonight.’

Ran raised his head to look into Yohji’s eyes. The uncertainty from earlier was gone. The warmth and love that took Ran’s breath away was back. Ran’s own eyes darkened and he turned to kiss Yohji’s palm. ‘yes Yohji, please. Love me. Make love to me Yohji. No stopping, no holding back. No more waiting. Love me’ he whispered, his throat tight as he voiced the plea from his soul.

Yohji closed his eyes, trembling as he caressed Ran’s jaw, pulling gently he brought their lips together. Almost touching, feeling Ran’s breath mingle with his own, as he answered with a moan, ‘I do Ran. I do love you. I need you.’

He kissed Ran then, deeply, slowly, the kiss intensifying, building with a passion too long denied, until Yohji was devouring Ran, shaking with the need overtaking him.

Yohji forced himself  to pull back, hands entwined in Ran’s hair, foreheads touching, panting lightly he opened his eyes to take in Ran’s flushed face, eyes closed…. ‘Not here Angel. The bedroom, I don’t want to stop later. Let me do this right.’ He stood and leaned down, taking Ran in his arms, he stood. Ran’s eyes flew open, ‘Yohji, what the hell?’ Almost angry with surprise, Ran sputtered. Yohji laughed quietly. ‘It’s ok Angel. Just this once, just for a bit. You’ll get over it. Let me do this.’ He carried Ran to the bedroom.

Laying Ran gently on the bed, Yohji spoke quietly, ‘Tonight, at least this time tonight, let me Ran. Let me do it this way first. We’ll try another way later tonight.’ Yohji smiled, leered just a bit, then slipped back into the gentle, loving mood. ‘Mine Ran,’ he whispered, ‘be mine. Let me give you this, for this first time, this special time,’

Ran’s eyes softened as he reached up to caress Yohji’s jaw. ‘yes Yohji.’ He whispered back, ‘I am yours. Show me this, and more later, show me everything Yohji. Sensei, Nissho’ Ran lay back into the pillows, relaxed, trusting, loving…. Completely open in a way Yohji knew only he had ever seen.

‘I will baby, I will.’ Yohji kissed him quickly, then set about undressing Ran. He kissed each bit of flesh as it was uncovered. Licking, nipping his way down Ran’s neck, across his shoulders and chest, massaging as he pushed the shirt back off Ran’s body.

He kept constant contact with his mouth and hands as he pull4ed the shirt away and dropped it. He made his way to the waistband of Ran’s pants, some part of him taking in that Ran was toeing off his shoes. He kept his hands roaming over Ran’s chest as he first outlined Ran’s hardness through the fabric of the pants. Then Yohji looked up to take in Ran’s dazed eyes watching his every move as he licked Ran’s navel and just below the waistband.

Ran’s hands that had been entwined in the blanket came to rest  gently on Yohji’s head. ‘yes Yohji’ Ran mouthed, breathless, ‘yes Yohji. Taste me, please.’

‘Ran’ Yohji groaned, and pulled the pants gently down. Slowly, following  the receding fabric  with his tongue. He continued to push them lower and couldn’t help but take Ran into his mouth when Ran’s hips came up from the mattress.

‘Yohji’ Ran moaned deeply as his fingers twisted in Yohji’s hair. ‘yes Yohji yes’ Ran was panting now, thrusting into Yohji’s suction, ‘yes Yohji. Please Yohji. Don’t….. don’t ….. ever… stop. Yohji! I…. I do love you, Yohji, I’m…. yes… Yohji. Wait… I…. want, Yohji, I….. can’t’

Yohji shook his head and hummed lightly, determined to bring Ran over the edge and sucked harder. He dug his hands into Ran’s hips, pulling Ran deeper into his mouth.

‘Yohji!.... Yohji. Yes, i-‘ Ran gasped then suddenly jerked upward, dropping his head back as he came, ‘ah… ungh….oh, Yo…. Yohji.’ He hissed out as he slowly eased back to the bed.

Yohji hummed again as his mouth was filled with Ran’s heat, pulsing out of him with Ran’s heartbeat. This was his. Only his. He tightened his grip, sucking harder then softer as Ran came down, licking lightly until he felt Ran soften in his mouth. He began to nuzzle, allowing Ran to slip from his mouth. He kissed Ran’s hip, then thigh as he rested a moment, Ran’s soft heat against his cheek. He rubbed his face into Ran, squeezing his eyes tightly closed as he pushed the worry and fear away. Ran loved him. Even with Persia hanging over their heads, even with the threats to Aya, Ran loved him. Nothing would change that. Ran wouldn’t leave him for another, this was just too right.

He raised his head, smiling at Ran as Ran began to caress his hair softly. ‘I do love you Yohji.’ Ran said as Yohji’s eyes met his. ‘you are my light. You keep my darkness away. I was afraid of it before, couldn’t say it. But, I’m afraid more of not saying it, of losing you, your warmth. I love you Yohji.’

‘I love you too Angel. I need you.’ Yohji pushed Ran’s pants off the bed and stood to finish undressing. He grabbed the lube from the bedside drawer and gently turned Ran on his side. ‘ok angel.’ Yohji whispered, ‘let me fill up’ Yohji creased Ran[s flank and began to kiss the side of his neck, in that special spot that always had Ran squirming and hard as he gently began to prepare him. One finger first, like they’d done before. Then, after a bit, when there was no tension, another. Two now, then three, as much as they’d done before. Yohji took his time, pushing a little farther with each thrust, each stroke ghosting over Ran’s pleasure center twisting as he pulled back, pressing just a little harder until Ran began to moan, ‘yes Yohji, there’ Ran began to harden again as Yohji watched, and Yohji gently eased himself up against Ran’s back, panting himself as he rocked into Ran’s hips. Moaning into Ran’s shoulder, ‘Ran. I want you Ran, I need you,’

He began to pump his hand into Ran harder, faster, and his other hand reached around to grasp Ran’s hardness. ‘Wait Yohji, wait.’ Ran gasped, ‘I.. I’m close, I’ll… I’ll cum again. I want you Yohji, inside me, filling me. Please Nissho, now … please’ Ran whimpered as he fought to keep from thrusting himself back into Yohji, searching for that brush against him deep inside. ‘Yohji, Yohji… please… now, hurry.’

Yohji forced himself to stop and held himself still a moment, shaking. He positioned himself and leaned down to kiss Ran’s ear. ‘Ran, I’m gonna be inside you Baby, feel me Ran, feel me filling you, inside you.’ Yohji gently removed his fingers and lubed himself as he talked to Ran. ‘deep breath baby’ he whispered as he began to thrust gently, ‘push out a little as I push in. tell me tell me Ran , if it hurts.’ He thrust gently again, ‘please Ran’ he whispered ‘please don’t let me hurt you.’ Yohji clenched his teeth with the effort to go slow, ‘god Ran’ he moaned as he breached that first tightness, forcing himself to stop as he took in Ran’s subtle tension.

‘Ran’ he gasped, panted, ‘Angel. Please.. let me in Ran, relax, breathe’

Ran began to relax – finally he answered, ‘yes Yohji, I’m… ok, I’m ok .. .it’s just a little… full, is all. It’s…. alright, Nissho, fill me. Keep going Yohji, I want you, please.’

Yohji slowly pulled back , then pushed forward again, in… out, deeper, just a bit, each time until he was balls deep. ‘that’s it angel,’ he panted, ‘that’s all of me. Ran. So hot, so…tight. Angel… Ran’ Yohji twisted, just a bit, then tried to hold himself tightly as Ran tightened around him with a gasp. ‘yes Yohji! There… Yohji please…. Yohji’

‘yes Ran, yes’ Yohji moaned and began to thrust, slow, deep thrusts, making sure to graze just here each time. Each thrust a little harder, a little fast until Ran was calling out, ‘Yohji, yes Yohji! Harder.. don’t stop Yohji, please. There! Yes!’

Yohji began to thrust faster, harder pushing into Ran. He wrapped his fist around Ran’s hardness, squeezing, holding. Ran began to push himself, into Yohji’s fist, back onto Yohji’s cock. ‘oh Yohji, oh… yes. Deeper, Yohji. Right…. There. … Yohji. I’m ..’

‘yes Ran!’ Yohji gasped, ‘yes. Cum for me Angel. Ran!’ Yohji was pounding now. Thrusting in deep, hard, squeezing Ran in his fist, giving Ran a tight channel to rock into. ‘Now Ran! Cum for me now Angel.’ And Ran did. Exploding, tightening like a vise around Yohji as he cried, ’Yohji!’ spurting into Yohji’s hand with such force, each pulse dragging a jerk of his hips, pulling on Yohji’s cock so hard Yohji could hardly move.

‘Ran!’ Yohji gave two more powerful thrusts and filled Ran with his hot eruption. ‘ungh!’ Yohji clamped his arms around Ran, pulling him as tightly close as he could, just holding him as he felt each spasm pulling out of him, pulled from deep inside, like a part of his soul was pouring out. He shuddered through the last pulse, going limp a moment. He came to himself and realized ran had brought his own arms up to hold Yohji as best he could from this position. One hand holding Yohji’s face to his shoulder, the other holding yjs arms against his chest, fingers intertwined. Ran was whispering, ‘Yohji, my Yohji.’

Yohji nuzzled softly against Ran’s shoulder and tightened his hold briefly. Then eased off. ‘I’m gonna move Babe’ he whispered as he gently began to pull back. He felt Ran wince against the side of his face, just a second, as he slid out. ‘I’m sorry,’ he began, but Ran turned to kiss him as they rolled over. ‘I’m not, Yohji’ Ran leaned over and kissed Yohji deeply, holding his face. ‘I’m not sorry for a moment of it. It was perfect . you were perfect.’ He raised up, looking at Yohji  ‘thank you Yohji. Thank you for being you. For loving me, for seeing something worth the trouble… for…everything.’

Yohji caressed Ran’s face, and answered, ‘Ran I do love you. I say thank you for letting me. For giving me a part of you that is only mine. This is right Ran. We are right.’

He eased Ran down beside his as he used the t-shirt he’d been wearing to clean them up. ‘sleep Angel. In a bit, we’ll shower and start over. I am gonna make love to you all night Ran, in every way I can think of. All night, and all tomorrow too-‘ he smiled, then faltered as he took in the look of dismay in Ran’s eyes. ‘Ran? What’s wrong?’ he whispered, ‘does it hurt too much? Oh Ran, I’m-‘

‘No, Yohji, no. Everything is perfect. I want you to make love to me all night, please, it’s just….’ He looked down, then back to Yohji’s face. He sighed. ‘I have to leave Yohji. Tomorrow. I have to go to London to meet with the investors and iron out the new offices. I… I was going to tell you, but… you left. Before the announcement and I wasn’t sure… if you were…’ he stopped, took a deep breath, and went on. ‘anyway. My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon. We can make love all night, and have some time tomorrow morning. I can sleep on the plane. I’m sorry Yohji, I should have told you…I’d hoped to postpone the trip, or send someone, but… when, when you left… I didn’t…. I-‘

‘shhh’ Yohji pulled him in. ‘it’s ok baby, it’s ok.’ Yohji sighed, ‘damn. How long Ran?’

‘two weeks.’ Ran whispered.

‘two weeks?’ Yohji whispered back, eyes clenched shut.

Ran nodded against his chest. ‘well damn. Damn, Ran. I…’ Yohji sighed, ‘I’m sorry.’ He whispered, ‘I shouldn’t; have left Ran. … , let me hold you, let me love you and fill up on you while I can.’

They snuggled in and calmed, rested, quietly. Soon Yohji felt Ran relaxing to sleep. Well. Served him right for leaving like that. Shit. Two weeks. With just those people Yohji’d been so worried about. Two weeks was longer than they’d gone without each other at one stretch. But… well…. Ran was fully his now. He wouldn’t be swayed by anyone else. He wouldn’t. Yohji squeezed a bit before kissing Ran’s head and settling in to wait for Ran to wake. He would  make love to Ran all night. So for many days of that first week Ran would still feel Yohji  …

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